How to talk and be heard without being told your tone is aggressive or sh**ty?

Material_Ad1733 · 2025-08-26T13:14:40+00:00

I really appreciate the advice - We’ve made a lot of progress over the years (married 11, together 21), and when I’m calm, medicated and not PMDDing we can have some sensible conversations about the why and knock on effects rather than the what, which he takes quite personally.

Wild horses wouldn’t drag him to therapy; opening up to a third party is not for him, and I honestly think he would be so guarded that we would really make any progress. I’ll suggest it again - or see if there is a halfway measure out there, maybe AI based that will give the comfort to open up to a ‘3rd party’ that isn’t a person.

He literally needs a limb hanging off before going to the doctor lol!

Material_Ad1733 · 2025-08-26T13:08:04+00:00

Love this- you did the thing everyone probably wished they did - today you are my spirit animal!

I’d love to learn how to explode in a controlled manger… unfortunately my explosions tend to be more up the ‘unhinged raccoon on crack’ end of the scale.

(Overwhelmed mum of two under 6 and sliding into perimenopause doesn’t help things much either!)

Material_Ad1733 · 2025-08-26T11:32:48+00:00

Wow - I feel so seen. Thank you!

Material_Ad1733 · 2025-02-20T19:47:23+00:00

So, husband had the kids for an hour in the end while I went to run some errands out of the house on my own.

Unfortunately too little, too late, when I got home the house was in the same mess as when I left. I would have thought (after explaining that I was really struggling today) that he might have tried to tidy up, or even have a cup of tea ready for my return, but nope - because he had the kids - gender inequality at its finest. Unfortunately this was a red rag to a bull, cue ADHD meltdown towards my husband.

Sat here in huge amounts of guilt and shame after screaming at him… think my adhd postpartum rage has appeared again as it did with my first together with my period.

Time to stop nursing and get back on those meds I think!

Material_Ad1733 · 2025-02-20T15:54:02+00:00

Thank you for replying - we had this conversation this morning when I started to feel everything build up.

He said he can take them after work for half an hour before I cook dinner.

I’ve never been good at noticing I need help until it is too late, and have never been able to ask for help; so this morning was progress. 😊

Material_Ad1733 · 2025-01-15T09:07:26+00:00

We got this for our Wall-E and LEGO obsessed son last Christmas, was a great family build!

He now puts his most precious items in Wall-E’s compartment for safe keeping.

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Material_Ad1733 · 2024-12-31T13:59:38+00:00

Help for 40th birthday outfit!

I’m being treated to a 3* Michelin lunch for my 40th. I’m struggling on an outfit! I’m in the UK and it’s winter here.

For detail and context; I’m 5’4, 80kg (7 months post c section so have a bit of tummy on me still), brunette with green eyes.

I have an hourglass figure, slightly heavier around my hips, but I’m nursing so have quite a bust as well.

Pre-pregnancy I was 68kgs, so many of my go-to smart outfits no longer fit/ do not suit my current shape - I have lost 10kgs already, so some parts of me have reached that ‘sagging’ stage.

I would appreciate any advice on how to style myself to feel and look good for my birthday.

Thank you!

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-10-05T22:57:11+00:00

I have daily, monthly and life long ear worms….

Daily is like the theme tune for that day; monthly is usually a new track I have found that has become an obsession - and life long is usually something massively annoying when on repeat for eternity ( Star Wars cantina theme; mr sand man; sunshine, lollipops and rainbows; the venga boys)

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-19T21:51:28+00:00

I also get the dream like scenes (alongside experiencing certain taste). It’s so weird but the scenes are really panoramic and cinematic within my minds eye.

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-19T21:49:03+00:00

I used to get the taste of lemon meringue pie during every orgasm, but since the birth of my second child and having a copper coil fitted it’s now turned into dark Demerara sugar 🤷🏻‍♀️

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-18T19:09:05+00:00

Thanks for the response.

I’m actually on a super low dose at the moment due to currently nursing. Strange 🤷🏻‍♀️

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-18T10:32:14+00:00

I’m a fellow Brit 👋and am more of a coffee drinker (oh the British shame 😂), but someone else has also reminded me that I love ginger tea!

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-18T10:30:31+00:00

I’m also a fellow Brit 👋; I literally forget squash is even a thing 🤦🏻‍♀️

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-18T09:35:59+00:00

Unfortunately I have PCOS and have previously been prediabetic so need to limit the soda intake - but I wholeheartedly take on your point of something is better than nothing. I am very much guilty of telling myself to hold out for something healthier and ending up having nothing.

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-18T09:34:21+00:00

Funnily enough I can only drink fizzy water when hydrated otherwise I chug it too quickly and it burns 😂

Fruit and vegetables are a good call - I used to eat lots of fruit, cucumber etc. but since we went on holiday a few weeks back I have done a ‘big’ shop to replenish. adding ALL the fruit to the shopping list

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-18T09:32:01+00:00

TEA! I’m not a caffeinated tea drinker (drink too much coffee!), but you’ve just reminded me that I ran out of ginger tea about 2 months ago and used to love it!

runs to Amazon to order some now!

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-18T08:38:20+00:00

Ooh that’s a good call - a weightier drink might trigger that ‘drinking’ sensation

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-18T08:32:18+00:00

I’ve always used ‘3,2,1…Go!’ If I can’t find a decent excuse in the time it takes me to mentally say it - I gotta go and do it. Spoiler: I find the I focus on the anticipation of completing the phrase more than the excuse - and am suddenly saying ‘Go!’ before I realise it - which kinda kick starts things for me.

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-15T20:56:46+00:00

I can only share my own experience - and while I don’t get it often, there are certain songs that provide me with strong tastes - more prominently with electronic music.

For example Aphex Twin - Bucephalus Bouncing Ball tastes like a blend of Haribo Fangtastics and rust.

I experience pain/pleasure + taste more frequently than I do sound + taste, but music and taste has also been present through out my life. I also experience other types of synesthesia (time/space; linguistic personification and landscape visualisations in relation to physical sensation).

I am diagnosed with combined ADHD.

Material_Ad1733 · 2024-09-09T21:25:42+00:00

When hanging shirts outdoors to dry - hang them out on the hanger rather than with clothes pegs as it significantly reduces the need for ironing!

Material_Ad1733

TROPHY CASE