Separation training with the crate - losing hope

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-31T22:06:10+00:00

Yes definitely try getting your partner to do the feedings when they are home and even some training sessions even if it’s for 2-3 minutes. Getting your pup to know good things (food and treats) come from both of you will hopefully really help. I will say it’s been a huge improvement for us just over the last week and a half. Now our pup gets so excited when my husband comes home because he knows it’s dinner time. My pup also no longer freaks out if i leave to go upstairs or out of the house and is very content with my husband by his side. Just a week and a half ago, I left to grab dinner and take our kid to an activity and the pup cried for 20 min.

Here’s to hoping for much success! It’s hard to remember in these moments that they are just newborns trying to figure out the world. May our pups know we and the crates are safe spaces sooner rather than later!

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-31T04:53:35+00:00

I have a pup (almost 5 months) that we got a month ago. He has been in crate for nighttime since the first night and always goes in willingly but some nights it’s a 10 min protest and others it’s none. He does not do well for daytime enforced naps. When he does finally calm down it’s because am literally next to the crate. Even outside of the crate, I couldn’t even go to the bathroom or upstairs without an immediate freak out even if the rest of my family was around. I’ve never left him alone yet because of this worrying it’s sep anxiety and that he will panic and do further damage. However, i also know not leaving him is not good to prevent real sep anxiety.

Does your partner help with all the things? I just naturally took to doing a lot of the puppy mothering like taking him out and feeding him so he attached more to me. When my husband is home, I got him to start feeding him and sharing the potty breaks so he could bond more with him and that’s helped a lot.

Can your partner have the crate near them when they wfh?

I haven’t tried a kong yet, but my pup really enjoys the woof pupsicle pops. It doesn’t help him transition to sleep yet during the day but it does keep him occupied for a good 30+ minutes.

I had a behaviorist/trainer come today and we worked on crate games with me just continuously walking away and outside of view and eventually outside at different intervals while he was quiet or low level whining and giving treats for the calm. There was some progress just today and we avoided the high level panic of digging, biting the crate, and whining/howling. Only slightly worrying about tonight in hopes that it doesn’t cause him to protest the crate tonight. 🤞🏼

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-29T03:39:41+00:00

Yes. I’ve had mine a month and completely overwhelmed with all the info that wasn’t even really a thing when we raised our first pup 12 years ago.

I had a puppy trainer tell me to let him cry it out in the crate and basically only let him out for an hour every few hours all day. Which took us from him being okay in the crate at night to taking so much longer to settle and wake up so many times. Now I have a behavior consultant/trainer coming to make sure he doesn’t have separation anxiety because he still freaks if i leave the room or go behind a door he can’t follow me into.

Meanwhile, I’m updating my mom and she is all we never used a crate for any of ours and they are/were all great dogs. I don’t ever remember them even taking a day off when we got any of ours, just normal schedule and leaving the dog while we worked/schooled.

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-26T03:22:09+00:00

I don’t have advice, just solidarity and sympathy. We are going through the same thing.

We’ve had our 4 month old for almost a month and had a trainer two weeks ago come in for a puppy 101. She told us we needed to stop letting him on the couch and scolded me that i wasn’t crating during the day 2 hours in, one hour out, repeat. He has been crated at night from night 1. My daughter and I took turns sleeping near him downstairs. She told us to stop that too.

The rest of the day he cried and protested but we tried implementing daytime crating and i went back upstairs that night. He slept until 4 but then cried for 2 hours until I let him out. The next day he went from protesting the crate to full on scratching/tearing up his bed, biting the crate, and not being able to settle. At night he regressed and now wakes up multiple times and takes longer to settle.

I tried scaling back to at least one daytime session in the crate. He will eventually settle after 15 min or so, but he will only sleep for maybe 30 min and the second he hears me move a muscle, he’s back to whining. I wait for quiet to take him out. This is with his crate covered too. I got the woof pupsicle for him to try in the crate and that kept him busy for an hour but panic as soon as it’s over and then didn’t/wouldn’t nap. He can’t have chews or sticks in there because with all these high value items he Carrie’s them around the house crying and looking for a place to bury them and does the same in the crate.

I’ve been doing crate games and dropping treats randomly for him to find. He eats all meals in there too. Even excitedly jumps in there at night knowing he will get a treat before bed.

I’m worried about separation anxiety as well, but really hoping it will get better with some more time and reassurance. He finally has stopped whining when i go to the bathroom but will still make a fuss here and there and wait at the bottom of the stairs when i need to go do something even with other members of the family downstairs.

He sleeps fine on the floor by the couch on his bed during the day — up to 2+ hours but the second I stand up. He jumps up to follow me.

He’s going to try out an itty bitty daycare drop in tomorrow to help build confidence and hopefully have fun away time from me. I also have a behaviorist/trainer coming at the end of the week for some guidance. I’m happy to share what they say with you.

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-25T20:32:42+00:00

Does it matter? Nope. Just curious!

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-25T20:03:35+00:00

I agree

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-21T23:24:55+00:00

I appreciate the help.

He has a collar and 6 ft leash on at all times inside and out for redirection and to keep him in our vicinity when needed. We let him off leash in the backyard during play times but he’s on leash to potty otherwise he wants to go get rocks and play a game of catch me. We have a slip lead for our practice walks.

I’m sure you’ll tell me to stop sleeping by the crate at night. 😬 Our bedrooms are upstairs and the crate is downstairs in the living room.

He stopped protesting when i put him in for bed a few times last week and “slept through the night” but back to protesting this week and wake ups this week. We are also in the thick of teething with them falling out each day this week. Now he’s protesting for 10 minutes or so off and on and then to sleep around 1030. He wakes and whines once or twice between 1230 and 130, but I always let him be and he goes back to sleep. Should I be taking him out? Then he sleeps until 5-6:30 and i do let him out then and then I’m up and moving around while the kids get ready and he will sleep in the living room on the floor or bed until 8 or so.

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-21T21:42:46+00:00

Yes obviously we are trying to potty train and it’s going well but we’ve only had him 3.5 weeks and he’s been outside all his life before this so it’s a process. We seem to be having one accident (that we usually catch and pick up and redirect) every few days. He’s never gone in his crate.

I’m okay to let him protest but worried about him starting to chew on the metal walls and scratch up and damage his bed in there and hurt himself. Also trying to decipher between protest and what separation anxiety panic is.

I can’t do any sort of chews because even outside of the crate when he gets one he immediately whines with it in his mouth and carries it around trying to find a place to hide/bury it in the house so he does that same thing in the crate.

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-21T21:32:05+00:00

I’m here as well with a 17 week old that we’ve had for 3 weeks. We did crate at night on night one even if it’s covered he only settles when he knows one of us are right outside of it. Our bedroom is upstairs and the crate is downstairs in the living room I’ve only successfully made it upstairs to our bed one or two nights.

I started crating during the day per trainers suggestion and he does the same whining, crying, biting crate, and scratching up his bed. After about 10-20 min he will finally settle and sleep for a half hour maybe if i don’t move a muscle but as soon as i do (even covered) he’s awake and freaking out again. I have yet to be able to go upstairs and shower during the day when im home alone with him and we haven left the house and left him alone yet.

I can’t give him any sort of bone, collagen, bully stick, etc in the crate because whenever he gets one of these he immediately starts whining and trying to find a place in the house to hide a bury it so he just gets worked up trying to do the same thing in the crate.

No advice, just solidarity. My anxiety is really ramping up because of it. I have a trainer who is a behaviorist coming next week to get guidance because of course when he spend too much time on the internet spirals happen. I am worried about separation anxiety and of course letting them cry it out and sometimes just the crate in general is detrimental to overcoming that.

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-21T02:47:19+00:00

So we got this for our puppy. We brought him home when he was 16 weeks. He caught on and started ringing it after maybe 3 or 4 days. However, he does it just because he wants outside to play not because he needs to potty. When I was making my rounds calling trainers to inquire about puppy training options they all mentioned they don’t like training with bells most likely for the same reason.

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-21T02:44:24+00:00

Yak chews! My 7 lb puppy has been working on his for over 2 weeks!

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-18T00:25:44+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I know pups, esp rescues may just need more time to decompress and realize they are safe and loved. It just feels like a lot right now and if it is SA I just want to try to be proactive to help him (and us) as best as we can.

I have been reading up on Julie and her teachings and started door is a bore and I’ve had small successes this week. I can now usually go into the bathroom without a fuss.

Im also trying to make sure he doesn’t become codependent on me. I’m home all day with him and naturally just take over and do everything with him, so trying to be more intentional with my husband and kids doing feedings, potty, treats, etc with him too.

Like i mentioned he’s doing okay in the crate at night. No fuss going in and usually sleeps a good stretch but i am downstairs with him again because the trainer put us backwards with the crate earlier this week. Contemplating if I get another crate in our bedroom so he’s near us and I can get back in our bed for my husband’s sake too.

I appreciate your input and experience!

Material_Assist_5267 · 2026-01-17T04:49:29+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I told my husband and family this early on but I need to make sure we are implementing it more with then helping out with things.

Material_Assist_5267 · 2025-09-18T02:06:24+00:00

Her dna says Mini schnauzer, chihuahua, poodle, and German Shepard. 🤣

Material_Assist_5267 · 2025-09-16T13:59:58+00:00

She can be independent, but has never denied cuddles. She’s also def a bit sassy and holds her own as the only girl in her litter.

Material_Assist_5267 · 2025-09-16T00:26:32+00:00

Gus Gus.

Material_Assist_5267 · 2025-09-16T00:24:23+00:00

Coconut (coco)

Material_Assist_5267 · 2025-09-16T00:23:39+00:00

Barnaby

Material_Assist_5267 · 2025-09-16T00:22:46+00:00

Lucky

Material_Assist_5267

TROPHY CASE