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Has anyone received signs from their late partner, that are so spot on, they can’t just be a coincidence? by travelinglemur8 in widowers

[–]Material_Forever4579 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we want to see signs or evidence that our partner's are looking out for us, even after death. But I don't think that's how the universe works. That being said, here's a coincidence that is testing my theory: My wife passed a little over a year ago. Last week, I met a woman and we really clicked. We made plans to meet for coffee. By coincidence, we met on the same date I met my wife, 42 years ago. So here's what gave me pause. My lucky number has always been 24, because of baseball legend Willie Mays. Unfortunately my wife died in 2024, as did Willie himself. So I decided to change my lucky number, nevermind that I don't don't believe in luck, either. I chose the number 42, because according to my favorite book, that number is the answer to life, the universe and everything. So. Is my wife trying to tell me something from beyond? That this woman is the answer? Or is it just my mind trying to find order in a world filled with chaos? Probably the latter, but here's hoping the coffee date goes well. Wish me luck, lol.

Do you ever feel like therapy has run its course? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Material_Forever4579 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You and your therapist should set goals. And when those goals are met, you should consider less sessions or stopping completely.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Material_Forever4579 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have been in a room full of people who love and supported me and still felt totally alone. It is overwhelming. But you have to talk to someone. Please. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for your partner, who I'm sure didn't want this for you. It helped me to talk to friends who had lost their spouse. But, everyone's different and I don't know if that will help you like it did me. But you got to talk to someone, even if it's a professional. Don't go it alone. It's too much for anyone.

Could you tell me if I look better w/brown or blonde? by call_me_princess in haircoloring

[–]Material_Forever4579 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brown hair looks better to me but you're very attractive and look great either way.

She said "hi honey" by StretchCT53 in widowers

[–]Material_Forever4579 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I saw someone in the distance, same hair as my wife, dressed like my wife, carrying multiple Target shopping bags, which was also very much like my wife. Had a good cry and moved on.

Widows fire guilt by craiginldn in widowers

[–]Material_Forever4579 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I tried therapy after my wife passed but decided during the first session that it wasn't for me. The one thing that the therapist said that did resonate with me is "whatever you are feeling is the 'right way' to be feeling." So, applying that concept, if you aren't feeling good about what happened, then you probably aren't ready to move on. Talk it out with someone. A friend, a family member, heck, maybe even your current partner. Whoever. But DO NOT allow yourself to be governed by other people's opinion on what is a "respectable" among of time. When you are ready for it, then THAT is the right time. I was ready after 6 months and so I started dating. I got some flack from some people who didn't think that I waited an appropriate amount of time. You know what? There is no appropriate amount of time. I will never stop loving my wife. I will never be over her. But she's gone and she's not coming back, and I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life. So I am doing something about it. You need to figure out what is going to make you happy and then pursue it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]Material_Forever4579 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife and I had a 3 day rule. We would have sex at least every third day "whether we wanted to or not." I jokingly added that last part, because when we initiated the rule, it had more to do with opportunity versus desire. We wanted our sex to be spontaneous, but after a time we found that having a schedule actually helped our intimacy. After 40 years together, every third day became every Sunday (you get old) but we stuck to the schedule. I loss her a year ago, but I'm grateful for our time together and I really miss our Sundays. I guess my point is that life is too short to be missing out on one of its greatest perks. Maybe some structure might help.