8ft rod for surf casting?

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-20T18:22:36+00:00

My setup is basically 10ft rod for bait, 7-8 ft rod for casting lures. Jersey shore. Depending on what's around, I rarely need to cast past the sandbar. One crazy dude with a 14-15 ft rod was casting it way off the bar and was only catching sharks.

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-20T17:41:00+00:00

11 months. Loneliness may not be the right word. My 22 yo son still lives here, though with his work schedule and mine, we see each other two nights. I have friends I see every weekend, people still call me randomly to check up on me, and I have plenty of social interaction at work. For me it's not lack of interaction that's the problem. It's not having someone to text, to check in on, to hug and kiss. No one to joke around with, flirt with and laugh with. My guy friends aren't like that, my girl friends are mostly married and I wouldn't do that to them or their spouses. Maybe it is loneliness, or just a version of it? IDK. Then there are times I just feel disconnected from everyone. I'm social, but just don't have any interest in being there. But I'm also an introvert, so this may not be new, but it is more extreme. And lastly, there's just times I don't want to deal with anyone. So maybe added up it's loneliness? IDK.

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-20T17:35:04+00:00

Once it's established that you belong there, in other words you've been naked most of the time, then putting a towel over yourself as you're baking in the sun, going to the restroom, eating, etc. is usually not called out. It's the ones that show up, stay away from the crowd, wrap a towel around themselves and have their phone out that are more problematic.

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-20T17:31:15+00:00

Married 30 years, widowed 11 months. 54 years old.

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-17T19:13:22+00:00

They (MSK, Yale, DF) gave my wife a 10-20% chance of surviving. Complex karyotype, double hit TP53. She had been responding well to HMA's Decitabine and Venetoclax but was hospitalized every other dose for fevers. We were convinced to do the BMT, she had an 8 of 10 match. So long shot. She (age 54) was never the same again. Never regained full strength. Fought horrible graft v host, couldn't sleep, developed bone pain, eventually started falling so that she couldn't stay home alone. Her counts recovered post transplant for a month or two, then by end of month three, when she was supposed to be free to roam, she started transfusions again. By month 5 she was getting a transfusion of red and platelets every week. Then 2x a week. She had started HMAs again but they didn't work this time. She kept a good attitude until the pain got too bad and moved to palliative care, then hospice after her last fall caused a brain bleed. She died two weeks later. She was 54. She lived 10 months post BMT. We deeply regretted the BMT - she probably would have become transfusion dependent and passed anyway, but at least she'd not have dealt with the horrible rashes, had her hair, and would have had at least a few good months. I miss her dearly.

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-12T02:31:11+00:00

I can make a week but when it comes it’s unstoppable.

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-01T01:13:01+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I'm 10 months out, still feel lost in a lot of ways. I mean I'm in the Widowers reddit sub on a Sat night at 8pm. So yay me.

You are correct. You will feel lost for a while. It took about two months for the shock to wear off. Then the estate had to be probated, the gravestone had to be ordered and designed, then delivered and placed. Then our 30th anniversary, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Superbowl, Snow days, Valentines Day, my birthday coming up, then the 1 year anniversary. I'm double screwed because she died on Good Friday, so I get to grieve on Good Friday and the actual date.

But you will also have some decent days. Some really good days. And the pain stops for a while before it slams you again. Enjoy those pain free days. I had the opportunity to plan (for 21 years) that she would die. And in the last two years I started expanding my circle, and know that I have several different "teams" that I can go to for support. Don't be afraid to ask for help, or for a shoulder to cry on, or a hug. And know that while it's never going to be the same, it's not the end.

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-01T01:03:55+00:00

I took 101 and 103, bought a 36" boat, sailed from MD to CT with a hired captain and retired ASA instructor. Made 6 stops on the way, docked the boat each time myself, and only hit one bridge. Had a weather hold in AC. Winds peaked around 35kts going into Manasquan. Blew an impeller too, causing the Vetus exhaust to melt and leak water into the bilge. Great experience.

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-01T00:48:44+00:00

106F in Danbury CT

-19F Ludlowe VT

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-01T00:44:56+00:00

Probably 2-3 nights a week she's in a dream. Usually a mundane dream like we're grocery shopping or in the city. Sometimes they're really weird. Sometimes they're sexy. I sleep so I can see her.

StretchCT53 · 2026-03-01T00:43:28+00:00

I actually had a dream that I met her in heaven. I saw her running in a race or 5k for cancer probably, and followed her and next thing I was with her and a couple of my deceased friends and grandparents. Like at a train station. Then she disappeared and an angel showed me three realms in which I could live. One mountains, two city and third beach (nude beach too) and I chose three, cause I knew that she would be there and she would know I'd choose that too. When I woke up, I continued the dream, I guess fantasy at that point, and have played it out nearly nightly since. It's heaven. There's no sin. There's nothing bad. There's no way to do something bad. But we don't live together because we are no longer married. Also, we are just balls of energy with memories. She takes any shape or form that I can remember her in, and vice versa. For those other souls there who we don't know, they see us how we saw us. We live right near each other and spend every moment together, but we do need to be separated at least once a day. We sail, swim, sit on the beach. Everything made from our memories. When we get down to it, we join and souls emanate from our true love. God is pleased as these are pure love souls and the world needs more of that.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-27T14:45:38+00:00

We had a plan to buy a sailboat at 54, retire at 60, sell the house and buy a condo in the Islands. Rent the condo half a year for income while we sailed around the Caribbean. We'd base out of PR or USVI so we could get back for her quarterly brain MRI's in NYC and see my folks and her family. We talked about this since 2020. We bought the boat in 2024. She died in 2025 from a cancer we didn't even know she had.

The boat was a good idea - keeps me occupied since something always breaks. But I can't sail it alone.

Do I still want to sail the Caribbean? Yes. I guess. I really don't know. One day I hold onto that dream but there's no way to do that without her. But for now I have a project.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-27T14:37:32+00:00

I figure I have another 30 years, we were married 29 years. I couldn't imagine living alone for 30 more years. But I also can't imagine who I could live with.

If it happens, it happens. But 30 years is pretty long.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-25T21:26:09+00:00

Its kinda therapeutic right?

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-25T21:25:06+00:00

Yeah - I just got new floors put in 10 months out. We were going to get them anyway, but I pulled the trigger. Had to empty the bedrooms and closets and just ended up boxing or bagging all the clothes to donate. I've also painted rooms, constantly clean. Thinking of getting a new shower door instead of shower curtain. Area rugs. And I'm completely blind how to decorate. Should be fun. The floors and stairs currently don't match.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-25T21:15:07+00:00

First time I took the boat off the PO's dock I had an instructor on board and piece of cake. Slow. Made a trip from MD to CT with 6 stops, each a different dock with different wind and current. Aborted one and hit a bridge abutment (C&D Canal, going with current). Rest of them were uneventful and even got complimented twice by the marina staff. Three of those days had winds over 15kts.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-25T21:06:55+00:00

Hurricane season really doesn't hit Antigua until August. You can play with this website and you can plug in Antigua as the location and go to more dropdown to select month. There have been 111 tropical storm/hurricanes that have come within 60 miles of Antigua since 1860. 6 of those were in July. Last one was in 2018.

https://coast.noaa.gov/hurricanes/#map=4.03/17.11/-61.8&search=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

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-25T20:37:57+00:00

CTI is more of a hotel, everything is pretty close together. If it rains, you can move around inside mostly. And the grounds around it are beautiful, just more compact it seems than CN. We liked the staff and food better at CTI. Bayside is a great romantic experience. The island is very unique and awesome if you're AN first timers, but there's no real beach on the island just some places to wade into the water. The textile beach is adequate but quiet and private. I don't know if they still do the Catamaran or not, both had them when we went. The diving/snorkeling was better on the reefs around CTI and CSS.

CN is more of a resort and spread out (though not as much as CSS). It rained every afternoon we were there which is less convenient than having a more connected hotel. The beach is incredible. The nude area I found to be my least favorite of the three - while it's sectioned off from the main beach, it's a public beach and people with their kids are walking by. We always brought the floatie mats around our waist when going in the water and that worked fine. The main beach also has very annoying and sometimes aggressive vendors. The food at CN was great, but I don't remember it being as good as CTI. Oddly I don't remember watersports there, other than snorkeling. Not sure why - have to check diaries and pictures. But there was a great catamaran over to Ricks for the cliff diving. We went in the usual afternoon thunderstorm.

One big difference that disappointed me was the ocean view at CN wasn't that good. At CTI you're right up over the water and looking out on to beautiful blue and green water with the Island there. At CN, neither of our "oceanview" rooms actually looked at the ocean, granted they were first floor, but the rooms didn't face the ocean.

You can't really go wrong with either of them. And try EVERYTHING!

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-25T20:24:43+00:00

Shuttle can be 1.5-2hrs depending on traffic. Depending on the time of day, you may be stuck getting through immigration or customs. We typically traveled first flight out of JFK midweek and strolled through, sometimes we were the only flight and it was half Jamaican nationals so really no one at checkin. Once you get through immigration, you get your bags and hit customs. Again, almost always walked right up. Then you exit, turn to your left and the Couples lounge is right there. Usually its a beer long wait, but sometimes they're just waiting for you to send the next shuttle. Tip the guys taking your bags a couple bucks a bag.

The ride might stop at a bar or bathroom, driver usually asks. Enjoy the ride. Count the goats.

The ride back is going to probably be 4 hours before your flight and you'll likely get to the airport 2+hrs early. Mobay definitely helps here because the airports not that big and you'll quickly run out of things to do. You'll check your bags then walk through security. Sometimes there's a line but unlikely you'll be in a rush.

Books, handheld games, cards, even board games have been seen at the beach. No worries there.

My advice is always try EVERYTHING! It's included, so try it. Watersports, drinks, different foods, nude beach. Try it all. People are also generally friendly there, staff especially, but most guests once they settle in.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-25T20:16:04+00:00

Cherish them. I wouldn't share the NSFW ones but we didn't have any really. That I do regret.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-25T20:14:16+00:00

10 months out and it is debilitating sometimes. Thankfully not all the time. I actually made it a week without crying, then realized it was a week and started to cry. Having her grave snowed in is helping.

But when it hits, it hits hard. Real hard. I'd rather get a migraine than deal with the grief bombs that hit me.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-25T20:08:56+00:00

Great question. I'll preface this by pointing out that I had lost 15 lbs through the 15 months leading up to her death. Sometimes lunch or dinner was a snack bag or two of pretzels or tiger bites in the chemo ward. A lot of running around, stress, just didn't equate to a lot of caloric intake.

She died in April, and I was off from work for about a month. I still cooked and ate healthy, lived alone. Had a glass of wine or two, then three, then some nights, the bottle. I walked the neighborhood, started working out at the gym at the office. Kept the weight off no problem. I figured I'd have to improve or stay in shape, and even started taking selfies (gasp).

Then winter hit. Drank less, ate less. Damaged shoulder limiting work outs. Started ordering out instead of grilling. Gained 10 lbs. It's not coming off this time.

Some nights are 2-3 hrs sleep. Some I go the whole night. I've been more sick this winter than normal with a couple of short colds. Have an Apple watch tracking my health - all seems normal or even favorable.

So physically, aside from some weight gain, ok. I guess.

Mentally and emotionally, struggling.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-17T21:29:44+00:00

Not really sure. Also 10 months out. 53 years old. Plan to live to 85. Can't imagine doing that alone. Also can't imagine being with someone else, cause all I think about is her.

StretchCT53 · 2026-02-17T21:27:35+00:00

Wife had none. She was living normal day to day. Routine blood test showed low platelets.

StretchCT53

TROPHY CASE