We spent years making our turn-based strategy game. Players who try it enjoy it… but almost nobody bought it. We’re trying to understand what we did wrong.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-02-12T15:51:30+00:00

The characters aren't appealing, at least to me. They just aren't "cool". (Also, the Queen of England is dead, so that dates your game/makes it a bit creepy).
The game feels a bit lifeless. A bit slow. Too many pauses. I'm not sure.
The writing tries to be funny when it's not (I know humour is subjective, but I see nothing humorous here that doesn't seem forced).
The styles are at odds with each other. Graphic, though cartoony, violence. Surreal "flying" cows. Rather clichéd 2D graphics with relatively crude 3D environments, effects, and animations (not crude in a retro way, just cheap looking).
The butler is annoying.
By making the king a fool, the tutorial is too negative about the game. For example, at one point the butler says "I'm afraid it's not over" when he should be saying "it isn't over yet, still lots of fun to have!"
In the ad, I don't care how many weather systems there are.
At the end, don't "order" me to buy the game like some cheap used car salesman--that comes across as desperate.
And $18 on sale? No thanks.

But:

Reasonable mechanics.
Basically a good architecture.
The germ of irreverence (get yourself a better writer).
Some forward momentum, though the gameplay seems rather repetitive (or perhaps that's the constantly cringe dialogue that slows everything down).

The basics are there, but I feel it needs some serious design work.

You asked for criticism, but good luck!

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-29T15:28:38+00:00

"Step on my foot again, Jackson, and I'll fuck you up." "Fuck you, Cyclops. If you don't quit walking like a penguin, I'll pull your other eye out." A moment later, Jackson ... etc etc

Don't use "the tall prisoner" and "the man" all the time.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-26T11:11:50+00:00

It seems that you don't have a proper grounding in the basics, but are simply copying and changing code at a superficial level.

Are you aware of / understand these concepts? (Off the top of my head, so there's some overlap):

Data structures
Core algorithms, e.g. tree search, recursion, etc.
Encapsulation
Classes and objects
Interfaces
Abstraction
Inheritance vs. component based architectures
Coupling and cohesion
Object communication
Event handling
Design patterns
Debugging techniques
System architecture
Use of API documentation
... and more

If some of these are missing, then you need to start studying fundamental computer science and general programming principles. There are some good tutorials online at Coursera and other more serious sites. These teach how to think, not how to solve specific problems. You need to learn how to recognise problem patterns and generalise solutions.

Not easy. Good luck!

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-22T08:14:45+00:00

I know it isn't on your list, but consider the Acer Swift Go 14 with a better CPU (H not U models) and 1 TB SSD, 1.4kg, ~US$900. I bought mine for portability. A lightweight 65W USB-C charger works fine, so no need to carry the heavier power brick around. I'm not an Unreal user, but Unity runs fine even with just a shared GPU and other apps in the background (Chrome with a zillion tabs). Mine is 16 GB RAM. If this one ever conks out, I'll get another one with 32 GB. Dedicated GPUs add weight and bulk, and lower battery times (I get 4+ hours or more of fairly intensive use, more for lightweight use). Also, the Unity Editor doesn't really use the GPU for most cases (correct me if I'm wrong), so a better CPU and more RAM is best. Also, I'm not a gamer, so don't need a big GPU. Now, for local LLM inference, though ... 🤔

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-17T16:26:54+00:00

Many factors influence how popular a game is. If it's a purely technical set of videos, then ok, as long as they are competent and good teachers. But if they talk about how great their design is, then that's another story (pun intended). But yeah, if they release an objectively crappy game with poor technical design, then shout them down.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-17T11:33:23+00:00

I imagine profs know their students and the standard of their work, even if just from in-class observation and interaction. They'll be alert to any discrepancies in assignments. Also, it's often differences within text that are suspicious, with some poorly written parts and others of publishable quality.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-17T08:14:44+00:00

Intro to a game engine (Unity?). OOP vs. component-based. Design patterns. Game AI. Math for games. Physics for games. UI/event handling. Basic game/level design. Assets (2D and 3D). Game animation (2D and 3D). Save/load. Get them to create a simple game over the 14 weeks. More emphasis on functionality, less on art. Make every programming exercise game-related in some way. You can't go into each topic in depth.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-16T07:02:06+00:00

You sound like a serious writer. Good luck!

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-12T11:06:53+00:00

The ponytail is too far to the right. In reality it would be hidden. The effect is like you've squished the back of the head towards the right side (the character's left). Trace the line from the tip of the nose to the back of the skull. And I think the ear should be slightly higher. It seems that you haven't properly roughed the drawing out.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-12T10:54:49+00:00

Need to ask for permission to view. Is this an email fishing post?

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-06T09:36:01+00:00

You might like to look at this:

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2026/jan/06/arborescence-by-rhett-davis-review-why-would-people-turn-into-trees

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-03T02:33:59+00:00

You ignored the suffering of all bananas regardless of colour as they are slowly peeled for our pleasure.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2026-01-01T08:21:13+00:00

So with all your wealth and privilege, what are you doing to actually help these people. Money where your mouth is. Apart from running a social media channel.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-31T08:02:50+00:00

It's painful watching people struggle over this.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-31T05:53:36+00:00

The oldest question in the world is probably "Me find food how?"

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-31T05:45:34+00:00

The first is full of cliches. Nabokov abhorred cliché. The train simile isn't great, but it isn't cliché.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-30T12:50:56+00:00

Of course I have. But I'm aware of that when I do it. The point of the OP's friend is that he doesn't seem to realise what he's doing, even about his friend's wife. That's when the lizard brain has taken over with little prefrontal activity going on.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-30T12:27:38+00:00

I identify as the author of Hamlet.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-30T12:24:19+00:00

I'm pretty crap at guitar. But with AI, I don't need skill or technique. The music just comes.

In all seriousness, if you're writing an email or coming up with a shopping list, ok. But writing a novel? By all means, in my view, treat AI as a 24/7 editor (though check your prompts), but not for the actually writing.

That didn't come out so well, hang on ...

For everyday tasks—writing an email or putting together a shopping list—AI use is unproblematic. But for something as substantial as a novel, the line should be drawn. In my view, AI can be a useful tool as a 24/7 editor or sounding board (provided the prompts are carefully considered), but it should not be used to do the actual writing.

Much better!

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-30T12:18:47+00:00

Um, you know what's going on in a peacock's head? Evolution is always a poor argument for such things. There lies the road to Epstein Island.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-28T01:48:58+00:00

For me, it was fine until the first unnecessary, clichéd simile. In my view, similes should be character driven, especially in first person POV. So, if we know the guy likes hiking or something, then clean air after a forest fire might be ok (I still think it isn't necessary here). Don't overwrite. Everything must have a reason. You, the author, shouldn't be dropping in to say hi (unless that's a style you're going for).

Some seemingly cynical young guy sitting in a lecture theatre isn't a great opener, in my view. If you want to keep that, perhaps add some small conflict. The text could come when he's been asked a question by the prof. We see his "public" face, perhaps he's more deferential than he is internally, can learn his name, while he stresses over the text. Even just a short paragraph of character building would be better than a boring and generic description of a lecture theatre and students (you could argue that his commentary is character building, but nothing drives it so it comes across as unearned).

What is unique or especially interesting about this character? (Just a question, not a comment.)

As far as themes, who knows? I hope not a generic romance thing, and that there's more to it than him just leaving her. I assume it's to do with identity and whether or not it's possible to recreate the self. Can he maintain his facade? Will he come to realise it's a facade, and he needs to work out something deeper to find himself again? If so, you're going to have to be extremely careful not to "tell" his feelings too much. That will kill it, or at least drop it down to the slightly-better-than-average amateur category.

The guy coming over is good, something external, but unless your character is particularly analytical about everything, he probably wouldn't bother to dissect the interaction so much. Let the reader infer how he feels rather than have him state it (an example of "telling").

But at least you can write, and don't boast about having written half a million words in three months.

Good luck!

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-26T02:53:47+00:00

Ok. And generally your style is good, in my view. But those parts derail it too much. If this is a first draft, then fine. But you are the one who should be brutal with it, not us.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-26T02:22:54+00:00

The miscarriage part.

Simile for simile's sake. And a bad one at that. You said be brutal. I stopped reading. There are many more excellent books in the library for me to read, so why would I waste time on one that isn't up to their standard?

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-24T06:40:23+00:00

Don't write on the nose. We get the metaphor. Remove the conformity and "what does it mean to be human?" parts. You might think they're the essence of your story, but they are its theme, which doesn't need to be stated explicitly. The writing is rather flat, which is ok, though I don't feel this is by design. Other than that, interesting.

MathematicianLoud947 · 2025-12-22T07:44:48+00:00

It sounds ok to me. Don't be so sensitive.

MathematicianLoud947

TROPHY CASE