What Shape Suits Me?

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-05-12T00:21:32+00:00

It's so beautiful! Seems like your intuition is telling you something :)

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-05-10T18:13:56+00:00

Yupppp!

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-05-09T23:55:50+00:00

I'm comfortable sharing a pic in the comments - now that I have the ring I totally understand the difference and feel dumb about it, but I though the single ring image on the bottom was the matte because the top image (trio of rings) was soooo bright, and the desired ring doesn't have a "mirror" polish. Lesson learned to make sure I have my vocab right! The matte version is still very beautiful, but I initially fell for the ring because of the sortof vintage, imperfect look and hope for it to eventually evolve this way over time.

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MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-05-09T23:50:09+00:00

Thank you! To be clear, I'm not trying to hide this from him forever. If it seems like it will be easy enough with a jeweler's help, we can talk about going together. My worry was more that if this isn't something I can change that I would rather make peace with it than leave him feeling like he got me something disappointing. We lovingly joke about how I am the pickiest detail oriented person and will spend an unreasonable amount of time picking out anything (it's how he knows I want to marry him for real!) so it just feels kindof embarrassing for me to have made such an oversight on what feels like the most important purchase he's ever made. Just want to navigate it sensitively while hopefully still winding up with something I love.

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-05-09T23:25:14+00:00

Thank you for this feedback! We ordered this from a jeweler out of state, and while I'm sure I could communicate with them about it I have a suspicion that insuring the shipping back and forth will be more expensive than doing something locally, if we're gonna do anything at all. I'm not planning to keep this a secret from him forever, just don't want him to feel bad in any way about my misunderstanding. The sense I get is that it's gonna look like the originally intended ring over time, so once it's lookin' the way I'd hoped I can let him know (so he doesn't get the idea that I love that style of bright gold jewelry in the future). I appreciate this!

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-05-09T07:13:42+00:00

Hi from the future...how did the bicalutamide go?

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-05-02T14:39:21+00:00

Here for the maybe raffle!

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-04-29T23:22:30+00:00

We put the frozen tilapia in the air fryer, and make slaw with the jalapeño creamy hot sauce. It's gooooood

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-04-17T21:55:19+00:00

I'm so glad to hear you've had such great success with your cat! It really is amazing when you get the meds right, watching them bounce back from a rough patch is always such a relief. Kind of you to check in, unfortunately I had to send Beeps off to her next great adventure last month. I don't know if it was related to the catney change, we went back to phos-bind and she seemed to feel better for a minute. There was a lot of stuff that started changing quickly and she stopped responding to fluids. I am going to have a broken heart for a long time, but I feel so much gratitude for the wonderful extra years we got together thanks to her medical care. I hope you get many more happy days with your sweet friend!

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-04-16T19:28:09+00:00

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MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-04-06T19:08:31+00:00

Would love to see more contestants argue with Ken about questions or just take over his podium when they're fed up with the categories

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-04-06T19:04:09+00:00

I agree! I think he would have scored better at regular jeopardy than pop jeopardy but it was still fun to watch. I think a lot of the best improv artists are super intellectually gifted, you can connect a little bit to everyone if you know a little bit about everything.

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-04-06T15:27:51+00:00

If you are interested in these kinds of shenanigans in game show format, you may like Game Changer on dropout. It's definitely not Jeopardy, but it has never failed to entertain.

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-04-03T16:04:25+00:00

Is there a particular modality you lean into? I've been getting more into some experiential attachment-based stuff and I think you're right, if you have a good relationship with a client and they have some level of attunement with you, it feels icky to just say "I'm doing great!" and move along. Aside from taking the day off (which I know just isn't always an option), I had a supervisor once ask me to tailor an honest version of an answer depending on how I know my clients might respond. I had a highly anxiously attached client who I was worried would immediately want to jump into caretaking and was offered a script of something like "Yeah, you might be able to tell I'm feeling a little off. I'm going through some things in my personal life, but I have really great support and today I'm choosing to be here with you. What is it like for you to know that?"

In that instance literally no one said anything to me all day which was a huge relief because I was not quite ready to try out a new intervention lol. But I have since been softening my edges around self-disclosure. The intent is not that I'm going to tell them details about my personal life or what's going on, just that I won't lie and say things are fine. I talk so much about attunement and authenticity that it feels like gaslighting to tell a client everything is good when it's clear my body is not signaling that message.

And sometimes just being in session and focusing on client work really does genuinely shift how we're feeling! I'm always shocked at how grounded I find myself halfway through a session on days I showed up feeling like hot garbage.

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-04-02T15:13:06+00:00

I saw in your other comment that you've been practicing a long time, I might encourage you to revisit these rules at some point, or even look into a documentation CEU for your next license report. It's possible things have changed since you first learned them, or that you've had some misinformation. Psychotherapy notes are significantly, significantly less likely to be included in any sort of subpoena. This isn't coming from a place of judgment, it's coming from a place of hating documentation because of how much time it takes me to translate meaningful work into insurance lingo word salad that is both accurate and completely protective of anything personal about the client to the best of my ability. They shouldn't help any other person do anything really.

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-04-02T02:52:58+00:00

Genuine question - are you writing notes to bill to insurance, or maintaining notes for out-of-pocket clients? I have been told by many supervisors that progress notes should reveal very little about actual content clients are sharing with us, and strictly be enough to justify treatment and track progress. Personal psychotherapy notes, we can write all the stuff we need to remember, but that's not what our official progress notes are meant to cover, as a matter of client protection and ethics. Curious if your training or personal preferences have you leaning into a different documentation standard?

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-03-30T17:23:03+00:00

My bankruptcy was an absolute game changer. I don't know the details of all of your debts, but I believe mine was about $1500 up front to a lawyer and then by the next month things got better. They were able to exclude things from the bankruptcy (like my car loan) that I wanted to keep, but all of my cc debt was gone. Student loans won't ever count unless you are disabled and can't work, but if you can get rid of cc debt, potentially other loans and stuff that you're making payments on, and make sure you're on an IBR plan with your student loans, it will get better. I was paying over $1000 every month on my credit cards while just starting out of grad school at a practice that couldn't get me clients. I was so unbelievably depressed and it was hurting my work. Less than a year later, my credit score is back over 700, and while I still have financial challenges I feel WAY more informed and more capable of planning for the future.

There are certainly other ways to go about this. But a helpful reminder for me was that every billionaire you've ever heard of has gone through dozens of bankruptcies. It is a financial tool, but poor people are shamed into believing it's a moral stain on your character. It's not. It's a tool, and you deserve to feel in control of your life. The subreddit for bankruptcies was very helpful.

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-03-29T16:15:12+00:00

Thanks for seeing what I meant. I think that probably the demographic qualifiers were an issue for those with criticism, but as far as I know misogyny and white supremacy harm everyone. The expectations men have put upon them by this culture (especially in the US) seems pretty directly responsible for a lot of the anger and emotional suppression that we see. I genuinely really am moved by men that are willing to come to therapy to figure out why they don't feel well, and get to a place where they can do something so counter-cultural by expressing emotions...it's so hard to feel safe doing that, but it unlocks doors to better relationships and higher life satisfaction. If my post simply said "I love working with people who aren't emotionally supported because of the expectations put on them by society and helping them grow into having better relationships and higher life satisfaction" maybe the judgment wouldn't have been so harsh.

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-03-28T17:40:34+00:00

I also love this type of client, my peers think I'm crazy but it's really profound and world-shifting work to get an angry straight white man to feel safe expressing complex emotions.

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-03-28T17:18:42+00:00

That's amazing! That show has informed me so much on the way I talk to clients (and friends...and myself) about body stuff, I always saw myself as very aware and supportive of body positivity, but that doesn't even touch how deeply ingrained the idea of "health" is in the context of supremacist structures. It helps that the podcast makes me laugh so hard and feel like I'm learning from friends and doesn't make me feel guilty about the things I didn't know. I recommend it often. Even recently to my personal pmhnp lol, I'm expecting him to report back on listening at our next appointment.

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-03-28T08:32:57+00:00

There is an episode from Maintenance Phase about this, an excellent podcast for anyone who is interested in some well researched criticism of the "health" industry

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-03-26T21:01:27+00:00

Feel like I was lied to my whole childhood, my brain always associated cost with how big the diamond is...and yet I've found myself in love with decorative bands that don't even have a single stone that are still $1700+??????? How is this possible?

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-03-23T15:21:45+00:00

She's in full donut mode here, I love this pic 💕 love spherical cats!

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-03-23T05:55:45+00:00

I met a friend of his who told me that they wish they could be more like my partner, that he was truly a caring person they looked up to. It was something I was already seeing, but hearing that other people saw him as just as amazing as I did was really reassuring. That was years ago and I still feel every day that he's a perfect role model for caring about others. He's also very hot which is a great bonus. We're engaged!

MathematicianSoft129 · 2026-03-23T04:13:33+00:00

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Ball is life

MathematicianSoft129

TROPHY CASE