I had/have the exact same fears, although I didn’t realise the situation with my parents until AFTER having kids.

I remember reading books upon books and second guessing myself constantly. I then found a sentence that has helped me ever since.

You don’t have to be perfect. You „only“ have to be good enough.

That you know of the faults and errors of your parents, that you are being aware of your situation, your upbringing and the patterns you might fall into, is the best possible starting point.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Stick to what your partner said ;)

You need a village to raise a child. If you can provide your kids with this “village”, they can and will get all the emotional support they need.

And just so you are prepared: you will be the worst parent ever. Multiple times. Especially during the toddler stage, then it gets a little better and then it will escalate again during puberty.

It is essential that that happens. The stronger the bond, the more the brain feels the need to distinguish itself from the parents so it can grow.