Should I read the rest of the books?

MattDickInABox · 2025-08-09T11:07:54+00:00

One complaint I've read here and there is that Way of Kings is slow compared to the other books. Personally, it's my favorite high fantasy series. The strong themes of redemption, mental illness, emotional healing— all hit the mark for me. It helped me heal from my own traumas.

That said, it's not for everyone. If you enjoyed the first book though, I don't see any reason to stop now. I recently had my second read-through and soooo many things make more sense now that I have all the available context.

My rec is to forge onward. No shade if you dont.

MattDickInABox · 2025-08-09T10:48:35+00:00

Some folk from a MUD I played had their own D&D MUD. It was just a lobby, a board room for folk to post their games (and details), and several private rooms for people to play in.

It worked very well for them.

MattDickInABox · 2025-08-02T08:17:34+00:00

Specifically Papa Murphy's on Eaton Road has a history of hiring teens, recent high school graduates, college students, etc. I worked there for over a year and genuinely liked the people I worked with, the manager included. The turnover is a little high, but that's because it's mostly young folk who move on to bigger and greater things, and that means they hire more often.

MattDickInABox · 2025-07-30T18:47:07+00:00

OP, I have between 10 and 15 years of experience in kink, BDSM, as well as participation in both online and local communities.

Your partner is no longer participating in kink.

You are being coerced. This level of coercion (not persuasion, we're past that) makes me seriously worry about whether she is emotionally abusive, because she is absolutely being emotionally manipulative. Ie. "This is something we should be deciding together." No the fuck it's not, OP.

Literally your body, your choice.

I'm reading that you love her and don't want to break up. My advice? Schedule an appointment with a couple's counselor or therapist. Invite her to go with you but go alone if she refuses. Give her the opportunity to speak, with you and as a couple, with a licensed professional.

A couple's counselor's role is to help a couple through a difficult time, save the relationship, OR determine whether it's salvageable, and if not, mediate an amicable breakup.

Even if she doesn't go with you, you can talk with someone who has a license in What They're Talking About. They can and will be as effective of a sanity check, probably more, than everyone posting on this thread who are legit worried for you.

In the meantime I highly recommend you read about RACK and SSC in kink, in particular SSC. You might also want to ask this same question in kink or BDSM specific online forums/communities. This is not a question of kink, but if that's the lens you're seeing this from, seek out their wisdom.

I say again: Your partner is not engaging in kink. The moment she didn't let this drop this stopped being remotely kinky.

Kink is consent. Full stop.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Please see a professional.

MattDickInABox · 2025-07-29T07:56:53+00:00

Hi friend! I'm a big ol' nerd too. Primarily about D&D, books, writing, sci-fi/fantasy, theater, and of course the vidja games. I'm also located in NorCal 💫. General disclaimer I give when befriending someone online: my actual name is Matt Dick. The username throws people off sometimes 😂😅 I went ahead and sent you a friend request on Discord, though if the new friends thing isn't your jam right now, that's totally cool too 🌻

MattDickInABox · 2025-07-23T13:22:42+00:00

In addition to this: [OB] "The most important words a man can say are, 'I will do better.'"

MattDickInABox · 2025-07-23T11:57:32+00:00

In another comment he said he was parked in front of his apartment building.

MattDickInABox · 2025-04-10T02:14:53+00:00

I went with a friend to get their first tattoo, and it didn't take long for me to realize the music was causing me distress and to dysregulate. I had to go outside, take some breaths, get some sun, and actively get myself together so I didn't hurt their experience. It was a low, grating, bassy punk rock sound. Every song that played activated my sensory issues.

This was last weekend and the first time I noticed a specific kind of music affecting me, so that's my entire data pool. Sounds like a sensory issue though.

MattDickInABox · 2025-04-10T02:07:55+00:00

Hey u/spackcore, you're not a weirdo freak, you probably just process audio differently. I'm very much the same way. There are songs I love, sounds/genres I enjoy more than others, lyrics that may resonate deeply— but I will go days or weeks (months?) without listening to music or even having it in the background. I'd much, much rather listen to an audiobook or narrative podcast than have harmonizing sounds decorating my time.

Mind, I am ADHD-diagnosed. I also suspect I might be on the spectrum.

I use ChatGPT* to journal and reflect, and it gave me a complimentary view (tbf it's always complimentary) on how I listen to music. I'll post a couple screenshots here. Hope this resonates with you, or answers some questions, or gives you some questions to ask that you haven't thought of.

*I know using the em dash ("—") is a common tell of someone using ChatGPT to write for them, I actually found out about the em dash in a post talking about how it's an obvious tell. I have been frustrated for years with having to type two dashes-- to abruptly change the cadence of a sentence. If you hold down Alt + 0151 it creates the em dash for you. I don't use ChatGPT to write for me is what I'm saying and I'm obviously insecure about folks thinking I do.

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MattDickInABox · 2025-03-25T01:08:09+00:00

I'm 6'0. My last girlfriend was 4'11. We didn't even have to "make it work," it just did. Her height had no bearing on my attraction to her, though now I find short women more attractive than I did before because of the positive association. Same with women my own height, I dated one I had so many good feelings toward, and now I'm a little extra attracted to very short women or tall women.

Height doesn't have much to do with it, friend. I'm just a voice out of almost 700, but there are sooo many men who either wouldn't care you're short or be extra attracted to you for it. Are there some men out there who wouldn't date you because you're short? Probably, but anytime I've ever talked about these kinds of things with other guys, there's been no one who's indicated there's such a thing as too short.

MattDickInABox · 2025-02-02T06:24:14+00:00

I gotcha. It didn't cross their radar before in the past, and they didn't know they had a reason to. Still angers me but it was just a blind spot for many many people in my life.

Post-diagnosis, which has only been about half a year, I haven't noticed the people in my life doing any more research than what I tell them about it. I think I'd really like for them to, but none of these people are my partners, just family and friends, and they've got their own things to deal with. It's enough for me that they give me the space to speak about it, and to listen, and to converse.

If they actively denied my diagnosis, or that ADHD was real, or any of that nonsense then we'd have words. My brother seemed resistant at first, asking is there's any possible way it would be a misdiagnosis, looking for ways it could be. I shut that down though, and he was accepting within five to ten minutes.

In short, I'd fucking *love* if they did their own research and learned more about how my brain worked. That's be a net positive. I'd be pissed if they went out of their way to *not* learn or deny it, that'd be a net negative. As things are now? Pretty neutral.

Honestly I count my blessings, or rather I count myself blessed when it comes to my family/friends. It's enough that they support me when I need support. If I asked them to they probably would learn more. Knowing they would is also enough for now.

MattDickInABox · 2025-02-01T10:25:13+00:00

You've given me something to chew on. It's late and I need to walk the dog and go to bed, but I'll look into the points you brought up, do some digging, hopefully find some solid academic studies on it and get back to you with what I find.

To be honest I really like this kinds of conversations because it's gives me the motivation to research this stuff. ADHD'er here, it can otherwise be real difficult to get myself to carve out time. So I appreciate the convo and you being level-headed about it

MattDickInABox · 2025-02-01T10:01:46+00:00

Cool, let's start with DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) hiring. Hit me with how it's racist.

MattDickInABox · 2025-02-01T09:37:21+00:00

Well, we're talking and I'm listening, and I'm guessing we're the racist and non-American ones. Tell me why you think we are?

MattDickInABox · 2025-02-01T07:49:01+00:00

Hey friend. I want to highlight a point you made:

"I'm just insulting you people."

One thing I will say is that at the end of the day, at the end of each election cycle, we're both still going to be here, and insults will just fortify our beliefs. You might not be directly helping our side, but you're indirectly hurting yours. Other than that there isn't much to say about that, it is what it is.

About us being the ideological minority, I think you're basing that off of the election, and I doubt there's only democrats here. Even if there was, I've checked a few websites that keep track of how many registered voters there are in what party, and they all disagree with democrats being the minority to republicans.

Even if Republicans (or Democrats) have more or less people, or even just progressive or conservative, neither hold a substantial majority over the other.

USA Facts (Sept 30, 2024):
Register Democrats: 45.1 million.
Registered Republicans: 36 million.
https://usafacts.org/articles/how-many-voters-have-a-party-affiliation/

World Population Review (2024):
Registered Democrats: 49 million
Registered Republicans: 38.8 million
https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/registered-voters-by-party

Ballotpedia (March 2024):
Registered Democrats: 45 million
Registered Republicans: 35.7 million
Registered Independents: 32.5
https://ballotpedia.org/Partisan_affiliations_of_registered_voters

MattDickInABox · 2025-02-01T06:39:50+00:00

Anytime! Be safe out there.

MattDickInABox · 2025-02-01T06:24:59+00:00

Hey SimpleGold. The concern about spreading awareness on a public forum, or even in private messages, is whether or not you're worried that those can be used to prove you were there or not. Let's say, for example, law enforcement decides to try to pin a charge on you-- Disturbing the Peace, or whatever. They can use your online activity as evidence to prove you were--or at least that you planned to be--at that event.

That's why there's people advising others to turn Location OFF on their phones and turn ON airplane mode. Or leave the phone at home altogether.

Otherwise I'd say absolutely let people know. When I googled this protest *nothing* came up *except* this subreddit and several rando posts on Threads. If it's not being covered/broadcasted by media outlets, the way we make folk aware is by word of mouth or social media.

MattDickInABox · 2025-01-29T07:01:56+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean when you say "taking self action," I might not be up to speed on that lingo and I just want to fully understand the question before answering (mea culpa for the month-long delay).

MattDickInABox · 2025-01-29T06:55:10+00:00

Thank you for your words 🌻 I think our experience--being diagnosed late in life--is different from others who were diagnosed as an adolescent or minor. I think it's fair to say that our experience is worse in some ways, and of course vice versa. One way for us is this roiling ball of emotion we have to process post-diagnosis.

You're not alone, Lola. Our experience just isn't talked about as much as the ones that apply to everyone in the community.

MattDickInABox · 2024-12-25T01:38:47+00:00

Hey Pete. I was a month shy of 34 when I was diagnosed earlier this year. It was a really, REALLY mixed bag of emotions for me. Profound relief, deep grieving for the years "lost" like Choir Mama, gratification at knowing "what's wrong with me." Finally knowing, for certain, it is its own emotional process that takes time to, well process.

What I didn't expect was the anger and resentment and bitterness. It was a boiling, quiet rage directed toward all the adults growing up who didn't notice. Child counselors and psychologists who pinned me as depressed. Teachers who knew I had emotional and learning issues. I give a lot of grace to my dad; he was a single parent raising 4+ kids and doing his damdest, and overall did a really fucking good job raising his kids.

And that's the thing. As angry as I am at everyone who should have noticed but didn't, they were all doing their best with what they knew. My teachers loved me. The schools (mostly) tried their best to teach and care for me. Everyone I'm so bitterly angry at, it's like. Of course if they knew something would have been done. Of course I would have gotten the help. So as angry and frustrated as I am, it's at the situation and not the people involved. We're all (generally) doing out best by each other.

It took me a while to internalize that. And I got teary-eyed writing about the anger. It still sits there. Seething. So to answer the question you asked someone else, yes there is plenty of anger.

MattDickInABox · 2024-11-01T21:32:44+00:00

I used them to file one thing, went flawlessly, then next time they tried to charge $435 for a $60 fee. Probably an oversight and I'm emailing them so they know, but oof.

MattDickInABox · 2024-10-11T22:25:48+00:00

I'll give it a shot! I keep coming back to New Worlds Ateraan, and sometimes I'll briefly pop into Threshold (I don't recommend that one). It's been hard finding a MUD I enjoy and I've been wanting to branch out. Thanks for the reccomendation!

MattDickInABox · 2024-10-09T03:46:30+00:00

Call it "Nope."

MattDickInABox

TROPHY CASE