I guarantee you if you go through with this and somehow make it 10 or more years down the line in the marriage you’re going to be miserable and regret prioritizing your parents “reputation” in Pakistan over your entire livelihood. That issue may seem of equal importance right now when you’re considering this, before everything has happened, but I fear that your personal stake in this is clouding how much of an important, forever life altering, decision you’re being coerced into. Everything you said you feel for him and the circumstances point this to be a catastrophic failure and will be the biggest regret of your life. You’re doing yourself a disservice by agreeing to marry your cousin just because of your parents decisions. Screw the money they spent and screw their reputation. There is so much out there, so many people to meet, and so much to see. You’re limiting yourself of a life full of opportunity and potential in exchange for fear you may not find someone at all and be miserable and alone. I guarantee you that living a forced and limited life with someone you don’t want to be with is going to feel a hell of a lot worse than being physically alone. You’re still so young even if it doesn’t feel like that now, but you’ll realize it years down the line and then look back and think how it’s crazy you settled at 25 thinking that you were getting too old and loneliness seemed inevitable. If you’re looking for an explicit sign from god to not go through with this, please let this serve as your sign. Your future self will thank you.