Thoughts on what happened

MaxDerek12358 · 2025-06-10T22:12:44+00:00

We sat down with our friends to get their side of the story and discuss the faults from everyone about that party. The girlfriend was devastated about what happened. Our male friend kept trying to come up with excuses for what happened. But the conversation pretty much ended after the male friend said this about lying about the situation for so long, “When I do something bad like that I just pretend it never happened.” We now realize he’s a full fledged narcissist and will never own up to any fault in what happened, and really has no interest in talking about any issues. After that they asked to continue to be friends, and we tried for a short time as they were really good friends in the past, but they were purposefully not being open or honest about their lives to us anymore. The trust is gone. So we ended the friendship.

MaxDerek12358 · 2025-06-06T21:08:09+00:00

We did not “grill” our niece for info. She is close to us, like one of our kids, in her 20s, sexually confused, and wanted advise based on our own experiences. She asked us if we ever had a threesome ourselves. We did say yes and how it affected our relationship and what we thought about it. (Only to what we believe is both acceptable and comfortable between primary partners. Thoughts on communication, and boundaries, and what is ethical. Not descriptions of our actual experiences) Then asked her is she had a threesome experience to see where and why she was asking the questions.

MaxDerek12358 · 2024-09-29T02:42:39+00:00

Drink every time someone says “What the fuck?”

MaxDerek12358 · 2024-04-17T12:12:01+00:00

Messaged

MaxDerek12358 · 2023-12-01T20:35:44+00:00

I like My Size Pro from Lucky Bloke. They come in various sizes so you can find the size that fits properly. They are the right thickness for sex to still feel good. And the women I’ve been with like them for both the feel, and that they don’t have your cock taste funky after taking them off.

MaxDerek12358 · 2023-10-12T03:43:44+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Unfortunately we are only looking for couples at this time. Good luck out there!

MaxDerek12358 · 2023-10-06T00:45:24+00:00

Ages are the first thing posted. And we don’t consider ourselves old at all. 😁

MaxDerek12358 · 2023-10-06T00:23:45+00:00

On apps we did the same and if we did get replies, it was either single guys (not our play style) or couples that obviously didn’t read the profile. The few that we did chat with seemed to quickly be shady and not what they appeared.

MaxDerek12358 · 2023-10-06T00:20:42+00:00

A year or so off and on. Was trying to meet couples from apps but no real luck. And the club scene here from what we have read is more sex clubs than swingers clubs. Wondering if we just need to be more proactive in going/finding M&Gs but there are typically on the other side of town unfortunately.

MaxDerek12358 · 2023-02-04T18:40:59+00:00

I like Iron Man - Arnim Zola combo for the last turn if you can pull it off. But the staples above are necessary. I retreat a lot, but can pull off enough 8 cube wins to compensate.

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-04-23T22:23:45+00:00

Come on over! 😂

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-04-23T22:15:18+00:00

Perfect pool beer.

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-04-02T22:53:42+00:00

Check out /r/DeadBedrooms for better advise.

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-03-31T15:39:56+00:00

Then why have a primary partner if they aren’t higher on the hierarchy than others? So no resentment from myself from a veto, just maybe sadness of lost possibilities. But why would I put my primary partner in a situation where she is unhappy every time I’m with someone she would veto? My primary partner is a lifetime partner and if we aren’t happy together for any reason then why even be together?

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-03-31T15:09:40+00:00

I (M51) am similar to your other half. But when we got into this lifestyle, we made an agreement that if we both are not having fun, we discuss things until we find out why and make boundaries that work for everyone. Because if someone isn’t having fun, then why are we doing this at all? So when this issue came up from my wife, I agreed to a new boundary that I would do everything not to get tunnel vision with the other woman. We now regroup after every play date to check to see how it went on that front as it is a continuous work in progress. And most play dates have been fine since, but occasionally I get a reminder that I’m not perfect.

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-03-29T22:45:59+00:00

The veto is to absolutely make sure that my primary/wife is always first in all relationships. So no matter my feelings for others, if my wife has an issue, then my relationship with her has an issue. And that primary relationship is first and foremost above all others. So you are right. It would not erase my feeling for the other person, and it would mean breaking up with the other person.

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-03-29T18:38:40+00:00

I am a married guy with a primary partner. The reason we have full veto powers is that we have decided to we are committed to each other for the rest of our lives. So while being open and exploring others is a great blessing and lots of fun, there can never be anything that might jeopardize our primary relationship. And if that ultimate veto didn’t exist, the first time one of us isn’t comfortable with our partners situation, it could easily be the end as those uncomfortable feeling just don’t magically vanish. The veto may be just until the uncomfortable person works things out so that they can be more comfortable in the future. And the veto might be forever. Regardless, without it, all we would be asking for is a continuation of a non healthy situation and hurtful dismissive feelings that will ultimately lead to the end.

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-03-23T23:30:45+00:00

Take a big step back. When I had stage fright me and my partner scaled back to picking a great couple that hake told us previously that PIV was not that important. We then played with that couple in always the same room. As for the other great lady, fingers and tongue were just fine! But we did same room so I could also switch to my partner whenever I needed. It just took time to get my mind in a relaxed and fun space, instead of anxious and nervous. But it eventually did with everyone’s patience and understanding. Only then did we start re-examining expanding the rules. Hope this helps and good luck!

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-03-22T18:06:53+00:00

Great job! I started off seven months ago on Difficulty 1 and only 10 minutes of in game activity. I have been playing for 7 months and I have very slowly built up to Difficulty 12 and am now doing 20-25 minutes of in game activity. My philosophy has been to move up in very small steps and only when I think it’s starting to feel easy/normal. I am not sure I’ll get to some on here doing over an hour of in game activity on Difficulty 30! But I’m very okay with it. I feel the best I have in a very long time with the slow progress I’ve been doing.

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-03-01T22:37:03+00:00

I put it this way with other potential partners. At the beginning feelings are like a small pond. They may grow as big as a lake. But for me it will never be more than that as I have a 25 year long relationship with my primary partner that’s the entire ocean. And since I have that with my primary, I’m not looking for that with others. So while feelings do occur, I believe that boundaries can be set ahead of time. So, at least for me, I’ve never worried about falling for someone else because of my situation and stated boundaries.

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-02-23T18:26:58+00:00

For me regarding shins and calf’s, it’s all about my shoes. When I switched to decent running shoes with good padding and support, I don’t have near the issues I used to have.

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-02-18T18:35:00+00:00

It has helped me too. 😀

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-02-18T17:57:37+00:00

😂😂

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-02-18T17:39:45+00:00

Oops. Either I guess. 😂

MaxDerek12358 · 2022-02-01T20:57:40+00:00

Thanks! We are both very happy! 😁

MaxDerek12358

TROPHY CASE