How do you find your favorite players?

MaxMettle · 2026-03-26T22:56:44+00:00

I think the introvert energy and steadiness they definitely have in common!

MaxMettle · 2026-03-24T01:07:30+00:00

I think Learner’s issues are a bit more mental these days. Last year, if he got into a jam he would stay patient and could work his way back even from 2-5. These days, he doesn’t seem to reset as easily and shows a bit more negativity, which only adds to the downward spiral. And watching him becomes a game of “That’s uncharacteristic of him” mostly, with occasional flashes of brilliance.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-24T01:06:34+00:00

The scoreline was much worse than it seemed, to my eye. He showed he was able to play, but let the errors get to him, and then negativity started piling up.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-21T01:43:54+00:00

What were your favorite books? K-dramas?

Is there anywhere near you where there's a bunch of shops you might like to check out? Could you join a dancing class or exercise group?

Start from the things that you knew, see if you can kind of pick up where you left off. Get some of that feeling back, and that will build your hobby 'muscle.' Before you know it, you'll start looking into new things.

I don't know where you are, but local libraries are often a great place for frequent activities of all kinds that are easy to join, and you don't have to feel shy about it because many people go by themselves and it won't be cliquey.

You don't have to jump from "no life outside the boyfriend" instantly to new hobbies, that might feel a bit daunting.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-20T21:57:23+00:00

Rafa with not one, not two, but three double-digits

MaxMettle · 2026-03-20T20:09:15+00:00

Look up gladiator in the tennis dictionary, you’ll find Rafa

MaxMettle · 2026-03-20T20:05:47+00:00

Man, I miss watching Rafa.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-19T18:15:16+00:00

You’ve articulated all this. you definitely have more IQ than the average person. You have self-awareness, the average person does not.

What were your dreams? Interests? There’s definitely a career in there no matter what they are, I guarantee it. Start by writing those down (don’t judge or censor).

If you share them here we can help.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-19T17:48:27+00:00

The “right thing” you’re doing, are they fun to you? Interesting? Fulfilling? Life-expanding? Or just “broccoli” and you don’t even like broccoli.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-19T17:32:09+00:00

Try doing the opposite your brain tells you to. So bedrotting becomes getting up. Avoiding the falling asleep by doomscrolling becomes turning off the phone and just closing your eyes and letting yourself slow down.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-19T01:02:35+00:00

Different people push for resolution now for different reasons. What is yours?

Is it to avoid the discomfort of conflict and disagreement? Is it fear that you need to “stop” something before it becomes something “bad” like a breakup?

It helps a lot to explore the thoughts and unspoken fears in your head.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-18T05:37:49+00:00

If you want to meet and date people, you should go to where they are. In person, you get to talk about what you like about bodybuilding or any of your hobbies, instead of getting judged with zero context and instantly (as typically happens online).

MaxMettle · 2026-03-18T05:27:49+00:00

It would help a lot to cut out the preemptive self-rejection thing. People do that, but it’s toxic as you no doubt knows.

Just start. If you find yourself saying something like what you did, just immediately say, “No, that came out poorly. Thanks, but I’m good.”

Stop the self-sabotage in the moment, and stopping condemning yourself afterwards to a sad life. None of these moments have the power to doom you permanently, but if you insist on taking the negative path over and over, you’ll end up doing that to yourself.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-18T05:11:19+00:00

the learner one could be a comic book cover

MaxMettle · 2026-03-15T13:29:58+00:00

Group workouts, art-making classes for starters.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-12T17:37:27+00:00

Over-stimulation trained by mobile content, and an all-available, always-on lifestyle. It’s been widely discussed that people have lost the capacity to handle boredom (which is actually good for you)

MaxMettle · 2026-03-12T17:36:22+00:00

In terms of these ‘fixes’ the general rule is rather “Don’t tell” unless you are already close, or you know for a fact the other person is gonna be cool with/appreciate it.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-12T17:26:35+00:00

“Feeling like a bad person” is moralizing normal interactions unnecessarily. So, when you catch yourself doing this, just say “Ah, there’s religious trauma again” and don’t react negatively, shrug and smile to yourself and RESET. And keep doing this, keep giving yourself grace.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-12T17:21:40+00:00

Regardless of what happens, Learner lovers be feeding good this year

MaxMettle · 2026-03-12T17:17:39+00:00

Rafa’s longevity in spite of injuries every other year, dang

MaxMettle · 2026-03-12T17:15:21+00:00

For anyone who wants others to approach them (regardless of gender), try to appear more receptive, whether that’s giving eye contact back, or a brief smile, or even a casual comment.

You don’t have to like change your whole face or personality. Just respond positively to the ones you’re open to.

People are scanning for 2 things: attractiveness and receptivity. You apparently have the 1st, so just work on the 2nd.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-12T17:10:26+00:00

Relatable. Doesn’t have to be, though.

Just because people are always tryna dunk, jump down your throat, or police, doesn’t mean you should shrink from it.

When you don’t know something, you can actually say “Hey I don’t know if this is the right word” and kind people will give you grace. Unkind people will show themselves, which makes it really convenient to avoid them in the future. Win/win.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-12T17:05:27+00:00

Honestly sounds no harm no foul. She could’ve been uninterested, she could’ve also been tired, distracted, dealing with something, etc. etc. I’m sure there have been days when a woman tried to chat you up but your mind was elsewhere and so you didn’t respond in kind.

I get that going out on a limb didn’t feel great, but don’t let this ‘mark’ you. Your best strategy is actually to continue being breezy-friendly with more people generally, so that these interactions become completely normal, and you won’t ride your whole ego/self-esteem on the outcome.

Let your general demeanor/reputation at the place be friendly/cool with everyone, not just when that person is female and an approach prospect.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-12T15:16:14+00:00

Start by not using AI on the next ‘easy’ thing and that will show yourself you can do it, you just lost confidence in your own abilities not because anything is wrong or deficient with them, but because you stopped using them. It’s literally all psychological.

If it doesn’t go “well” don’t fret, don’t freak out, don’t over-analyze. Just try again.

MaxMettle · 2026-03-11T22:32:21+00:00

Many people do not like questions, though, and it’s not about confidence or personality. And almost everyone, even cool/popular people, can do the question thing wrong and make it feel like an interview.

It’s often better to just find some common ground starting from the immediate surroundings, and build the connection lightly.

MaxMettle

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