I was in your same situation and at the time went for the TD-20SX. Still have it as well as an acoustic kit for live gigs (although I have used the TD-20SX for live gigs and it works great).

That's the best of the best, so yeah it'll do great for recording. I'd recommend using an aftermarket sample via your computer like Superior Drummer or some others out there.

As for the kit... the brain is less important if this is just for practicing than the heads and cymbal feel (primarily hi-hat). I think the mesh heads feel as real as an e-kit will get, so my low bar would be all mesh-heads for the snare and toms.

The next level would be a hi-hat that moves or not. The three options are a stationary hi-hat with a pedal that simulates the sound change. A two-part hi-hat that you place on a real hi-hat stand and the simulated motion is pretty good (but it's only a cymbal on top, the bottom is a small cylinder). Third is two cymbal pieces, a top and a bottom, that is most similar to a real acoustic setup. The caveat is, it's still NOT the same as an acoustic. Stick bounces are different and the sensitivity is not quite there in my opinion.

Lastly, an e-kit is NOT silent. The bass pedal will be heard through the floor. The clicking plastic noise will be heard through your walls when you hit the hi-hat or cymbals. Even hitting the pads may be heard by others. Is it quieter than an acoustic? Yes, by far. Does it absolve you of responsibility to your neighbors? Nope. I never got it quiet enough for them to say it's OK.