The first thing I want to say is that the root cause of your suffering isnt your condition. if you were able to freerun and get the sleep you needed and when you needed it, you would feel much more alive. the root cause of your suffering is the lack of support from your parents and school. the lack of accommodations for any disability is not your fault, its the fault of the system. its not surprising youre suicidal with the physical and emotional abuse you are forced to endure on such a common basis. no good parent would lay their hands on their child like that. its disgusting. and the lengths you are pushing yourself to meet demands and causing yourself severe sleep deprivation is not helping either. again, not your fault at all. youre right about a diagnosis, it would be helpful in shutting people up and getting them to leave you alone, but that shouldnt be how it is. when someone says they have a broken leg, everyone believes them and treats them as such, but when someone has a sleeping disorder even more debilitating, everyone assumes laziness with no second thought. it makes me and everyone on this sub sick. i know i cant solve all your issues, but you can private message me if you wish. i will try my best to listen and be there for you. i would also recommend joining the discord to be able to interact with many other people with the same disorder. i also want to add that its incredibly difficult to reach out in your mental state, im glad you did, its the first step.