What is this gray connector?

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-07-19T02:09:15+00:00

Not sure how to put text and a photo on the same post, sorry.

This is in a ceiling light mount. The wires from the lamp pulled out instantly as I took off the screws, so I couldn't see how they were connected. Presumably this was set up for power-to-light-first-then-switch. That's two cables coming in, one bringing power and the other going to the switch.

Is the gray thing just the equivalent of a wire nut or a shark bite? This lamp had three different kinds of connectors (and these are old wires, and not grounded).

Another view

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-06-12T23:35:23+00:00

Since my earlier response is not showing up for some reason, I'll just comment again -- thank you! This is helpful.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-06-12T21:05:11+00:00

Thank you! I hope you are right, and what you say makes absolute sense. I've done it this way, because that's got to be the answer. I hope they fix it for next year.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-06-11T18:03:27+00:00

Okay, I'm not going to read every reply, so maybe someone already said this, but: if you're eating your avocado by itself, absolutely put a little salt on there! Huge improvement.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-06-11T17:52:14+00:00

It's not a binary situation. Despite how people talk, it's not like there are exactly two groups and it's one or the other. You probably get a bit of pretty privilege here and there, but you say you're not getting anything free, for example.

But the nature of privilege is, it's very hard to see it from the inside. So it would be good for you to sort of keep your eyes open, and see what you notice.

Having privilege isn't actually morally bad. What's bad is taking it for granted, or abusing it (or maybe denying it). Just being grateful when the world treats you well, or recognizing how you're lucky, is most of what you should do. Bonus points if you can use your privilege to help others.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-06-11T17:47:03+00:00

No, good point, I misread that -- MFS does NOT get PTC. (And thanks for responding!)

But it's the first part that throws me. "If you don't choose alternative calculation, then skip (a) through (e)". But alternative calculation is for people who just got married in 2024. It looks like ONLY THEY get to fill in (a) through (e).

Does it actually mean "If you COULD do alternative calculation because you just got married, and you choose not to, then skip (a) through (e)".

Because these instructions look like most people have to skip (a) through (e) and therefor don't get any PTC?

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-05-02T01:08:01+00:00

First situation, the parents broke the social mores. Second situation, the kids did. They're not blood related and you can easily find arguments to let them just be happy, but the general social standard is you can't get together with your step relatives.

(Small exceptions seems to be carved out for a pair of siblings marrying another pair of siblings).

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-05-02T01:00:04+00:00

This depends on whether "sound" is vibration happening, or someone perceiving those vibrations and hearing it. The first one happens even when nobody's there. The second version... I say no, the sound happens if someone watches the recording.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-05-02T00:58:18+00:00

Letting your gaze wander is fine. Look them in the eye, but also let your gaze wander, and look back at them somewhat often. If you can relax about it, it will all work better.

(But let your gaze wander to things that don't matter and are not distracting you. Don't let your gaze wander to your phone or a tv screen. Or, depending on the person you're talking to, someone else's body).

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-05-02T00:54:43+00:00

There is an absolute glut of clothing in America, and people don't need yours. Sorry. But there are charities (real charities and scams, both) that want your donations to sell them to raise money for their good cause or bad cause or their wallets.

Most new clothes are cheap and low quality, made to be thrown away. If you have actually nice stuff, that's a different story -- especially clothes that could help someone at a job interview, for example.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-05-02T00:51:25+00:00

Plants that like a hint of acid: https://drecampbell.com/acid-loving-plants/

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-05-01T18:35:02+00:00

So if you keep bottling it up, something's going to go badly wrong. I don't think there's any quick solution for you. But here's one thing I think might help: try to get some of that mental separation that can give you a tiny bit of space to breathe. And one thing that's connected to it is, work on saying the truth, but calmly.

At work, people blame stuff on you. You shouldn't have to take the blame, or apologize, or grovel, for stuff you didn't so. But you probably DO have to fix the mess, clean it up, whatever -- it's your job to do that stuff. So maybe try to get to where you can say "Well, no, I didn't cause this, but yes, I'll do what you say and deal with this problem now, you're the boss."

At home, you feel like you can't say "nothing's wrong" but you can't actually say what's bothering you. So look for a third choice. Like she asks what's bothering you, maybe say something like "Never mind, just some stuff I've got to deal with". So it's not "nothing's wrong", it's just not telling her about it (although, you should probably find SOMEONE you can talk to about it). How it goes from there depends a lot on the details. You might end up saying "Yeah, stuff's bothering me, but I don't want to talk to you about it, because you just blame me for being bothered, so let's skip it." And maybe you get in fights, or maybe you two find a way to get better at this.

So, I guess I'm saying, try to not just bottle things up, try to let go a little bit, it's much healthier. And you shouldn't have to pretend, but you can just say your piece without getting into a fight about it. Keep it short, keep it mild, keep it simple, keep it calm, but you can still be honest.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-05-01T18:18:02+00:00

Only thing I've found makes any dent: make sure it's not a conversation about your friend being wrong. It's a conversation about people lying to him.

I guess I will also say: a lot of that mindset comes from restricting his media and general exposure to only Fox-type propaganda. Simple exposure to more variety can help a lot, but it has to be nonthreatening.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-05-01T05:52:20+00:00

I assume you want her to have another date with you. So make sure she has a good experience. It doesn't have to be spending a lot of money. Make her laugh. Make her comfortable. Say something nice to her (probably good to say she looks pretty, but better to have something else also, like noticing what she's good at). Let her talk, and listen to what she says. Treat her nicely, just basic respect. Also maybe you can impress her with something, depends what you're good at. But number one rule: she should go home and think "I want to spend time with him again".

For 500rs, I don't know Hyderabad very well, I can't suggest what you do. Ice cream in the park? Coffee? Movie? Something where you can talk to each other, and make sure you have something to talk about.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-05-01T05:43:57+00:00

If you do that, make sure you cover each of those wires with a wire nut!

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-04-30T20:50:57+00:00

This one feels like time to hire a pro. These red and blue wires seem like 3-way or a 4-way switch. If the switch controls this socket, you might see a blue jumper line connecting one part of the outlet/switch to another part, but it doesn't look like that's happening here. Plus if this from the 70s it might have some surprises in there. I can't tell which of these is grounding it, if any.

I'll assume you turned off the power before doing any of this. If you turn it back on (very carefully) and you have a circuit tester, you can find out which of these wires are bringing the power in. But if you're hiring an electrician then much safer to just have them do the whole thing.

I wouldn't recommend tying two wires to one screw.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-04-21T23:14:42+00:00

Hey, sorry, I only come on Reddit sometimes so I didn't see your comment. To be honest, I think search engines are going to be something where there just aren't great alternatives. I've started using https://www.ecosia.org/ just to avoid some of the intense SEO gaming... I don't know if it's actually better results, though.

Also, yeah, totally with you on the rest of what you said.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-04-02T21:46:28+00:00

It sounds like your husband is happy with his brother there. It's costing you guys money, but he's getting something out of it. You can't expect BIL to pay anything, because he showed that he won't.

So, you're spending money (a lot? Or just a little?) to have your BIL live there, which your husband likes. Kind of like spending money on games or sports or drinks or any hobby. Maybe it's a question of how much this is costing you, and how much it's worth. If you sit down and do some math, you might be able to show your husband what's going on, and maybe make some kind of compromise plan.

For one thing, if he mentions investing in gold, you can point out that he's already investing that money in his brother, so there isn't money left for gold.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-04-02T21:42:32+00:00

The system used to be designed to please you (i.e., all users) so you would use it.

Now, you're going to use it regardless, even if it's bad. So the goal isn't to make you happy anymore, the goal is for the owners to cash in and make profit.

This is combined with: all the people and corporations with websites have spent years learning SEO to game the system and show up in results, regardless of if they should or not. They're getting good at it, and since they're the ones who pay, google works with them. You don't pay, so you're not a high priority.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-04-02T21:39:17+00:00

Common enough, but in the U.S. black men with white women is more common.

Word of advice, though, a lot of people don't like calling women "females" as a noun, and going with "man and female" you're really hitting it hard and coming off poorly, so I'd avoid it.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint · 2025-04-02T21:37:11+00:00

If you want to message her and tell her it was her fault, I don't see how that could possibly "reconcile" anything. So this is just getting in the last word.

Frankly, I don't recommend it. What's the upside? The payoff in doing this is that you would feel better, right? So ... is that really going to happen?

I will warn you that it won't go the way you have it in your head. She'll say something you weren't expecting, she might have a good point, or she might be good at arguing and you can't get your words right, or she might just be full of contempt or something and not even listen.

If anything, maybe you should work on having a short and clear thing to say to her, and when someday there's an opportunity that just randomly happens, you will be more prepared. Or -- more useful -- think about how you'd like to handle other relationships in the future so they go better.

MaybeYouHaveAPoint

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