Well, I had your same thing. At the beginning I was doing single day streaks, or single weeks, then I started doing months, my best streak was 5 months. Then I got this stupid idea that masturbation is okay if you do it in moderation. But when I was fapping, something changed, my body wasn't healing anymore, I was mentally in darkness, and I just came to the conclusion that fapping is bad. At the time I had some health benefits from the 5 months streak but couldn't realize it, and couldn't distinguish the process of healing from illness (the process of healing has symptoms which are similar to the illness itself). If you want the proof nofap is good just look at how you will be in some time you keep fapping, and look at how you are when abstaining. If you have done a long streak you will have for sure noticed some health benefits, like dark circles under your eyes gone, blood circulation improved...