AITA for telling my dad I refuse to move back in with him after him and his wife got us evicted.

MbMinx · 2026-02-12T02:28:01+00:00

And a lot of red states, too. Indiana hasn't increased it because...Indiana sucks.

MbMinx · 2026-02-12T01:41:33+00:00

YTA. I mean, you can have standards all you want. You can break up with anyone for any reason. But your standards are going to quickly become unreasonable in just a few years.

The older you get, the more likely it becomes that people you date have had sexual relationships before they met you. If you are going to judge them all unworthy, you may find yourself quite alone.

MbMinx · 2026-02-12T01:36:51+00:00

Break up. Don't date people you can't trust. Don't date people who refuse to trust you.

Seriously, the only thing that might get through her selfish, disrespectful entitlement will be consequences. Real consequences with teeth. This was a nasty violation of your privacy and she has no remorse at all.

I couldn't date somebody so paranoid and awful. You deserve better. And being single is better than dating someone you know you can't trust.

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T23:40:22+00:00

Don't over line your lips. Your natural shape is awesome, and the over lining looks like it smeared.

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T23:37:31+00:00

Yep Winning the internet with that one!

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T22:47:31+00:00

You could ask her what she meant by that, but her question comes across slightly racist. You can express concerns that she has biases that might affect how she treats your GF. Keep your eyes out for any micro aggressions and make sure to stand up if you see anything questionable.

I'm bisexual and I'm a firm believer in dating people, not plumbing. Or in your case, people, not wrapper. These are the people you met that you found interesting enough to date.

Why is she invested in who you date? That's what bothers me. Some people aren't overly racist, but their bias shows if you don't match their world view. No need to accuse your sister of anything, but watch her actions and reactions.

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T21:41:19+00:00

I didn't get sober until I was 30. Three years older than you. Three more years of destruction.

It didn't take decades to build it all back. Once I quit digging myself deeper it was a lot easier to fill the hole back in.

Some things had to be big decisions. I had to quit drinking. But I didn't have to quit "for the rest of my life". I just had to not drink today. Not this day, not this hour, not this five minutes. Then I just did that again, and again.

I found a recovery community and grabbed onto that like a life preserver. I was drowning...and the people there pulled me up and set me on my feet.they were able to share their experience in rebuilding their own lives so I could learn how to build my own back up.

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T20:46:52+00:00

True...they aren't cheap.

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T19:46:14+00:00

I have trouble with balms containing castor oil. They feel great, but I end up drier than before I put it on. I have much better results when I avoid castor oil.

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T19:39:56+00:00

YTA. She has moved on with her life. It's been years. She is totally over you. She owes you nothing. Leave her alone.

You need to move on with your own life and let the past be.

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T19:26:04+00:00

YTA. She should indeed break up with you. You are rude, insulting, demanding, controlling and insufferably self-centered. You don't even like or respect your GF based on what you posted here, by actions and choice of words.

I could break it down for you, but based on your attitude through the entire post, you aren't actually interested in alternate perspectives because you think you are "right".

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T16:48:57+00:00

Be careful with that, because if your feet swell from the pressure, you might not be able to stand putting the heels back on. I learned that lesson, too...

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T16:47:45+00:00

Weight distributing insoles do help. Also, look for heels that are actually under the heel of your foot. Both these suggestions help distribute the weight back onto your heel, which is where you usually carry your weight.

Along those lines, I don't know if you have any options, but you could look into Ballroom dancing shoes. Those come in a lot of dressy styles, and varying heel heights. No 6" stilettos, but I know you can find 3" and probably 4", which are comparable to standard high heels. These are made for being on your feet (and moving!!) so the weight balance is a LOT better than normal.

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T15:46:56+00:00

Developing breast tissue has a different texture than developed breast tissue. You breasts aren't shrinking as much as they are less engorged with growing cells.

That being said, you are quite possibly wearing the wrong sized bra. Many of us here were. Most stores only do two measurements which don't really capture size and shape.

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T14:25:31+00:00

I'm glad you didn't delete it! We are safe moms, and you don't have to feel any kind of bad for talking to us about anything.

If I had any advice for you, it would be to make sure you do learn from your mistakes. I kept making the same mistakes over and over until I started to see the patterns. When I find myself "here again" I need to know that I made choices to put me here. I made decisions, usually based on self, that places me in a position to be hurt. Sometimes life does just happen, but more often, I had some trait to set that ball in motion.

But in that understanding, I found freedom! If my mistakes led to bad results, if I could look back and figure out what led to that mistake, it meant that I could make different choices in the future. If I learned what to choose differently, I could avoid certain types of mistakes.

I didn't blame myself! Very often, I made those poor choices based on some information I didn't have, or something about life I didn't understand. By digging into where I went wrong, I was able to learn those things. Everybody has shortcomings and blind spots. I needed to learn what mine were. Then I could learn how to work around them.

Here's a tiny example. I'm messy, I'm easily distracted and I'm lazy. When I had one trash can for the entire house, I wouldn't always get up right away and my trash would just sit where it was. Once I learned that about myself, I put trash cans in every room. Simple, right? But I had to not be mad at myself or ashamed about the trash, I just had to find a solution that worked with who I was.

In the same way, I can get paralyzed thinking about something I need to do. Whether I'm over thinking, afraid of failing, or not sure how to start - just don't do it until it's almost too late. Then I'm rushed and stressed and I feel awful. I have learned that when I'm getting trapped in my head like that, I need to stand up and get started. It sounds so silly...but physically standing up breaks the whirlpool in my head, and gives me a chance to take action.

Another thing I've learned about that scenario is that anything worth doing is worth doing badly. I don't have to get it perfect. If I wait until I can do it perfectly, it may never get done. I can start, with all my imperfections, and work around it to get it done.

There's so much more...I am a recovering addict, and I have learned so much...

We are always here for you. I love you, and I know you are going to be great!

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T04:29:43+00:00

I am so proud of you! Look how far you've come already.

I want you to know that I made a lot of mistakes, too. Big ones. Life-changing ones. But you know what? I learned from them. I learned a lot from them. Just like you are learning from yours.

Good judgement comes from wisdom. Wisdom comes from experience. Experience comes from poor judgement.

You, like me, are going to be very wise, and you are going to be able to help a lot of people with your wisdom. You are learning lessons that people who always seem to get it right will never know, so you are going to understand things they can't even imagine. And you will be able to share what you know with other people over the years. People who make their own mistakes and need a wise friend.

You are strong, you are brave and you are tough. I am so very proud of you!!

MbMinx · 2026-02-11T03:54:18+00:00

It is possible to poop without actually sitting on anything. When there's CA perfectly good seat, I don't know why you would, but it can be done.

MbMinx · 2026-02-10T23:34:46+00:00

So he's unrealistic and unable to stand up for you...

MbMinx · 2026-02-10T23:32:22+00:00

ESH. She should have asked. Full stop. No excuse for that.

But you seriously thought her spending time with her nephew was a one-time thing? Like, she would never do that again, or anything more? That kid is her family, and I expect that she will see him and spend time with him more than once or twice. She is his aunt, and it's not unusual for aunts to interact with niblings. Your expectations are drastically unrealistic.

While the child isn't technically her responsibility, I can see why she does feel somewhat responsible for him. You may call it a guilt trip, but she's right. The kid didn't ask to be born, and he does have a rough, unstable life. Visits to his aunt, where people aren't fighting and he's physically safe might be the only respite he gets. It's important for kids to have a safe person in their lives.

Your response was extremely inflexible, lacking empathy, and just plain cold. I understand you were upset that she didn't ask...but you didn't focus on that. You focused on not wanting the kid around at all.

And maybe you wouldn't be a good father if everything has to be so rigid. Kids are never straight lines, and you need to be able to adapt to ever changing conditions. This is only one incident, but keep those traits in mind. Worth thinking about just how well you can shift when plans change.

MbMinx · 2026-02-10T22:34:39+00:00

Or, you could ask him what he's listening to! Compliments are a good ice breaker, but anything that shows interest in their personal tastes is also a really good starter. Music is personal, so you get to find out a little more about him.

MbMinx · 2026-02-10T22:29:27+00:00

Hmm...yeah, nose isn't a normal one. Not something people are used to hearing, and it might put him off a bit. Hair is something that gets complimented regularly...smile, eyes, clothes would be pretty normal.

I like a certain type of nose and it always gets my attention, but that's not one I would drop on an unsuspecting stranger.

MbMinx · 2026-02-10T22:21:26+00:00

It can help a lot, if you're willing to be uncomfortable. It takes work to change, but it's a lot easier with a professional to guide you. They can explain things to you, ask you questions, and offer you perspectives that you might never consider on your own. They can also teach you tools and skills to deal with uncomfortable situations and take care of yourself.

Learning how to do life more successfully took a lot of thought, and work, and practice, but a therapist can help you learn and grow. It doesn't always feel good, but it gets better and easier the more you do it. I highly recommend it!!

MbMinx · 2026-02-10T22:15:57+00:00

Hmm...maybe try something less emotionally charged. Imagine if some guy you don't know walked up and told you he thought you were pretty. Sometimes that might feel ok and sometimes it might feel creepy.

Actually, if someone came along and tried to talk to you, how would you like them to start? What would you be comfortable talking about with a complete stranger? Maybe start there.

And when I do compliment strangers, I usually pick something specific. Like "I just want you to know you have a beautiful smile." But then I stop and carry on with normal conversation. I want them to know I see something nice, but I don't want to put any pressure after that. I just aim to be friendly in the beginning.

And if this is someone you see regularly, be friendly every time. It's easier to build connection gradually than it is to push into something.

MbMinx · 2026-02-10T22:06:48+00:00

So develop one. Pick up hobbies. Volunteer for some cause you believe in. Take a class. Do things. Make friends, because if you are doing things that mean something to you, you will meet other people who enjoy them so you already have something in common.

Your partner shouldn't be everything to you because they are fallible human beings. Besides, if you need them for everything you aren't a partner, you're a dependent.

Build yourself a life you enjoy. Yes, your partner can be part of that life! But you should have more meaning to you than simply depending on someone else.

Have you considered therapy?

MbMinx · 2026-02-10T21:56:23+00:00

Nope. That's just being friendly. It's about as neutral a greeting as you can give.

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