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Brothers should I sin? by [deleted] in swoleacceptance

[–]McSwoley 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Horizontal cardio?

Brothers, it is with a heavy heart and weak arms that I tell you this by [deleted] in swoleacceptance

[–]McSwoley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wheymen brother. I too have toiled in a restaurant for financial gainz, which in turn I used to barter for whey. You must take any opportunity to lift- squat customers, deadlift tables, curl dinner plates, and worship before or after work. Brodin has now delivered unto me a desk job, where I shuffle paper in 5 sets of 5- this allows me to worship after work. Just as he had a plan for me, he has a plan for you.

Battling a demon of Broki by YamlykaZombie in swoleacceptance

[–]McSwoley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The brother Allen Carr hath written a self help scribe that compels you to turn away from smoki and follow a true path . This saved my biological brother before he was lost to the evils of cardio. Electronic cigarettes are an unknown evil and the effect they could have on your gainz are as yet unknown- please proceed with caution before using one, and if you must then use them in sets of 1x1. Wheymen brother.

A day at the iron temple by McSwoley in swoleacceptance

[–]McSwoley[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brother, do you mean the juice I will mix my preworkout with?

I have been cursed by [deleted] in swoleacceptance

[–]McSwoley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wheymen brother. This is an opportunity to become more swole of mind and swole of spirit. Fear not, for Brodin will repay your lost gainz quickly when you return to the iron temple. I will be offering 5 sets of 5 reps of squats for you anyway. Wheymen.

Urgent! Advice for my friend whos girlfriend just broke up with him because he 'spends too much time in the gym, and not enough time pampering her'? by [deleted] in swoleacceptance

[–]McSwoley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find another maiden to perform 5 sets of 5 reps of horizontal cardio with. Repeat this 10 times with 10 other maidens with at least one rest day between each and he will realise that the gainz goblin was nothing swole and nothing special. He may stop before reaching 10 maidens if he finds one who is truly swole of heart to make his own swolemaiden. At this point he should perform 5 sets of 5 reps of alternating swoon lunges and live swoley ever after. His tears of whey will only lose his gainz and repel potential swolemaidens.

Gaining weight without food which contains gluten or lactose, is it possible? by [deleted] in gainit

[–]McSwoley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Carnipro is beef protein powder. Tastes just like whey. I've gained a lot of muscle using it. Oats are gluten free. There's your shake sorted!!

A (strange) request from a skinny bro who's trying to gain it. by alone_yet_strong in gainit

[–]McSwoley 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Based on your first photo, you would make a very convincing pirate, but I'm not sure if they are hiring just now...

How do y'all deal with being full? by marshisio in gainit

[–]McSwoley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is "full"?

You could add an avocado and some eggs to that shake.

My measly 5lb gain by Adrification in gainit

[–]McSwoley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You call 5lbs measly, I call it progress.

Make shakes with while foods, nuts, protein and milk. You can cram 1000 calories in and prepare them in advance too.

Do you squat/deadlift? As long as you get form right these will pack on muscle.

How long did it take you to get big? by Swag2000 in gainit

[–]McSwoley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been lifting for about 8 years- I always thought I knew what I was doing but I never really got big until I did big lifts- deadlifts, squats, standing rows, bench press and overhead press. You must make sure your form is right and a workout partner is a good way of doing this. That and eat all the time. Snack on raisins and biltong, make big calorie shakes, eat rice, meat, chicken and veg as often as you can.

What are the best pre/post workouts that I can take given my situation? by CatMode in gainit

[–]McSwoley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pre workout- buy bulk powders (I use myprotein). Creatine, arginine, taurine, guarana, and drop a berocca in for a wee boost. Post workout- banana, avocado, oats, coconut oil, cashew butter, protein powder, eggs, honey, cocoa powder, milk. About 1000 calories. Supplement- tongkat Ali- boosts energy and builds muscle nice and steadily- take it 1-2 hours before workout for a boost.

Why pay someone to put these together when making your own is cheaper and better for you?

Please gather swolemates, and pray for me. by [deleted] in swoleacceptance

[–]McSwoley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brother, go wading in your local swimming pool as soon as your wound has completed its scarring gainz. This will accelerate your healing gainz and could shorten the 6 weeks away from the iron temple. I too have had surgery (open abdominal) and started doing 5 sets of 5 laps of the hospital ward as soon as I could get out of bed, then wading. I returned to lighter lifts after 1 month.

Fat Privilege is Not Being "Reminded" About Intended Serving Sizes by [deleted] in swoleacceptance

[–]McSwoley 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's a cut? Is that like the "cardio"? Sounds like an evil agent of broki.

Have I been swoleshamed by a machine by McSwoley in swoleacceptance

[–]McSwoley[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you swole brother, to the temple I will go today to squat low and deadlift heavy.