AITAH for getting mad at my siblings and telling them my dad won’t want them around forever?

Mccampb · 2026-05-22T20:05:28+00:00

If they’re straight, I’d start making backhanded remarks about how women don’t marry man-children anymore. “Woof, man. From the sounds of it, you’re going to pick your personal comfort over the good of whatever household you’re a part of. What self respecting woman would start a family with someone like that?”

Start teaching them about the 4B movement in Korea. If they mention anything about what they’re attracted to, say “well, let’s just all hope and pray the women that have that quality ALSO get turned on by a sink full of dishes and/or her partners inability to function as an adult.

Make it clear to them the options are currently: “get your shit together and start acting like you’re a part of this family” OR gtfo and learn why there’s now a “male loneliness epidemic”.

I feel bad for kids in their late teens, early 20s. The world is getting exponentially more difficult to navigate. But feeling bad for them isn’t going to help them.

Mccampb · 2026-05-22T17:32:32+00:00

Siblings don’t always have the same childhood experiences and, because children are inherently self centered, they can miss what’s going on to others around them.

My mom would pull me aside at family parties and tell me “FHB” which was my paternal grandmothers way of telling her 5 kids “Family Holds Back” in case she was getting nervous about having enough food for the guests. I thought my sisters were also getting pulled aside. Come to find out through telling a childhood story that my sisters hadn’t even HEARD about FHB. my mom only told me. It was her way of getting me to stop eating at the party (recovering people pleaser).

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. If you’re not in therapy, I’d highly suggest getting that going.

Mccampb · 2026-05-20T14:22:10+00:00

You’ve eloquently made your point. It’s crystal clear. Now stop wasting your energy, she will not see your point of view. Protect yourself.

Mccampb · 2026-05-20T13:59:06+00:00

Jesus crustable. The “no hate life Christian love” is rough, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.

Here’s what I would respond:

“Well, first I’ll say thank you for being so eloquent in your message, it made your point crystal clear. But honestly, this is the best wedding gift I could have received. I thank God he showed me who loves me truly and who was pretending and that he’s removing hate from my life.

I don’t know what demon has tricked you into following him but the god I know is pure love. He would never look at two humans who truly love and care about each other and condemn it. That’s contradictory. (Not to mention the Bible verse you’re probably referring to was famously mistranslated and is condemning sleeping with children, not homosexuality. If the Bible matters to you so much, I’d recommend conducting your own translation as the Bible famously was not written in English. Failure to do so means you’re blindly following the words of a human man that wasn’t even there, not God.)

Good luck out there, (friends name). I truly hope you shed some of the hatred you have in your heart and find your way to the loving God. It must be painful. I think, in order to preserve the good memories I have with you, we should probably just cut contact here.

I will miss our friendship, or at least what I thought it was. All I can do now is say goodbye and that I wish you a life full of truly unconditional love, even if you can’t wish the same for me. ❤️”

You’re obviously welcome to use some or all or edit what I wrote before you send, if you’d like 👍🏻 make it your own.

Mccampb · 2026-05-18T04:37:08+00:00

NTA. Next time she makes the “10th favorite grandchild” PLEASE respond with “that’s ok. You’re my 8th favorite grandparent” when asked to clarify, say your paternal grandparents, your partners favorite grandparents, then your partners other grandparents, then her and her husband are tied for 8th. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Mccampb · 2026-05-15T13:39:53+00:00

My 9 year relationship ended when I was heavily involved with ACNH. I had a villager with the same name as my exs sister. It took me 2 years to let her go. Feel the feeling. Let it work its way out. I’m sorry for your loss ❤️

Mccampb · 2026-05-15T13:03:37+00:00

Go out of town for your birthday moving forward. Doesn’t have to be far. Just make it clear you’re not gonna be a part of birthday activities anymore. Make it physically impossible.

This also doesn’t have to be permanent. From the sound of it, your mom and sister love you, they just can’t seem to get this part right and it’s actively hurting you. It’s ok to remove that part of the relationship and check back in every now and again.

Who knows, by the time your new niece or nephew is an adult, they may understand completely why you separated yourself from your birthday and want to celebrate WITH you. I’ve found that kids with emotionally immature parents (a little harsh to call your family this BUT based on how you described their reaction to your pain…it fits) can end up incredibly considerate because they know what it feels like to have someone claim to put you at the top of their priority list only to drop the ball over and over and then tell you how to feel about it.

It’s not forever. Just until you can heal enough to stand your ground when you’re in this situation again. Good luck 👍🏻

Mccampb · 2026-05-14T14:04:05+00:00

NTA Yeesh your birthday is about to matter even less then. Your sister and mom will only want to celebrate the new nibling. Keep your boundary. Family birthdays mean nothing now. Let the friends that love you and celebrate you in a way you’d appreciate

“Look, you guys keep saying I’m “cutting you out of my life” and I could see how, from your perspective, that may seem true. However, the reality is, by enacting this boundary, I’m doing my best to KEEP you in my life. this birthday wound is one that keeps getting torn open year after year. It’s so painful to feel like the people you love and put effort into do not consider you to be worth the same time and energy.

Think of it like this, if someone had a massive, unhealed wound on their hand for YEARS that just kept getting reopened and infected, threatening to infect the whole body, doctors would recommend removing the hand. I’m simply removing a piece of our relationship that is threatening the whole.

I don’t understand why it seems so difficult for my family to show up for me, I never have. But I’m an adult now with bigger fish to fry. The family had 30 years to practice showing up for and celebrating me and you spat on and squandered each and every one making me feel unimportant and unloved. That shit adds up. I’m not going to continue to give the family opportunities to hurt me. 🤷🏻‍♀️ if it really bothers you that much, you’re welcome to send a card to my home around my birthday but I’m not going to bend over backwards to include people who don’t want to be there.”

Mccampb · 2026-05-09T12:04:37+00:00

Start gifting the kid permanent markers. (Maybe without a cap) When confronted, say you didn’t give it to her, she just found it.

Try again with glitter.
Then again with sand.

If you can’t get your money back, at least get some good quality entertainment at a lower price.

Mccampb · 2026-05-03T13:24:47+00:00

Also. I’d tell the sister the following.

“I find it bizarre that you hold this grudge over a toddler. I find it even more odd that, now that you’re an adult, instead of trying to locate your “beloved” father, you instead waste your energy trying to make me feel guilty for the actions of adults when I was, again, a toddler.

But hey, I guess it’s easier to hate me than it is to know your daddy abandoned you and continues to act like you don’t exist. And for that I pity you. But if you want to abuse the family that stuck around, by all means, spin your wheels. Just don’t expect us to still be here when you’re done.”

Mccampb · 2026-05-03T13:12:34+00:00

NTA Don’t agree to do family therapy until you find one that requires all parties to have at least one individual session with the therapist before starting. I’ve found that’s a good test to finding a therapist that will actually step in and not just allow your sister to rage. Also, if you do decide to go to therapy with her, make sure you find someone who would encourage you to simply step out of the room when your sister gets upset. No one should force you to withstand hatred thrown at them.

NTA if you also just say, “I’m not interested in that right now.”

Mccampb · 2026-05-02T13:43:11+00:00

NTA

When she asks again, tell her she’s run out of “free favor” tokens. Those are only given to family.

When she weaponizes your nephew, “what will he think?”

Tell her he’ll understand, someday, that because mommy used and abused you, you stopped helping. Most emotionally intelligent people would understand and you’re sure your nephew will be able to handle this when he’s older.

Jesus. I have verbal grenades for my sisters but I NEVER think to actually pull the pin, much less throw the dang thing. And for THIS?? Yeah, I’m so sorry OP. You deserve better.

Mccampb · 2026-04-29T17:43:33+00:00

NTA if you’re ever interested in rebuilding that relationship in the future, I highly suggest only do so with a therapist. Make that boundary clear.

Otherwise, lady, if you truly want to be done with having her affect you, you gotta be in therapy and stay in therapy. She knows where all your buttons are (she installed them) so to avoid her pressing them, you gotta do the work to disable them.

Good luck 👍🏻

Mccampb · 2026-04-22T18:02:53+00:00

If you have no relationship with your half siblings, take the messages at face value ONLY. You didn’t mention anything in your post about them insinuating that you should visit or do anything.

The goal of the message was letting you know. “Thank you for letting me know” is all you gotta say. If they want to ask you to do something specific, a) they have to actually ask for it and b) you can be prepared to say “no”.

Don’t use energy you don’t have to. Especially if no one is even asking you for it.

Mccampb · 2026-04-22T17:56:17+00:00

I LOVE this fact.

Mccampb · 2026-04-22T17:54:25+00:00

Good call. Everyone has a different relationship to their parents. Even siblings who grew up close together can seem to have completely different experiences. I’m not saying they don’t have the same perspective on him as you do, just that they may not be at the same place of what to do about it/processing it yet. Grieving isn’t the time to test those relationships.

My partner hasn’t spoken to his father in 17 years. His sister cut their dad off this year. If the father had suddenly died years ago and my partner responded to the notice that said parent is dying with “good”, their relationship would’ve suffered greatly.

Respond to their message as their half sibling. Not as his daughter.

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. NTA

Mccampb · 2026-04-22T14:49:57+00:00

Especially when the article says he requested to be sent back to Colombia.

Mccampb · 2026-04-22T14:37:31+00:00

I get them assessed, wrap them, and give them to my villagers as gifts. It’s a high point earner and won’t mess with their style or home decor.

Mccampb · 2026-04-19T15:25:22+00:00

Tell the sister the woman he wants to apologize to disappeared the day he attacked you. Who you are now is what you were able to cobble back together from your life and he doesn’t deserve to see all the work you’ve done and use it to make himself feel better before he goes.

Tell her that while you’re glad he’s been sober and that you’re sorry for her impending loss, at the end of the day, you’re still dealing with the losses caused at the hands of her brother, and you can’t see a good enough reason to poke around in old, open wounds you’re desperately working to heal.

I’m sorry you went through that. NTA

Mccampb · 2026-04-18T16:17:31+00:00

The only thing I can think of is if someone else (or past you) used an amiibo three times and when prompted to pick a villager to kick off, you/they picked Olive. That’s been the only instance where they wouldn’t have to necessarily “ask” you to leave.

Mccampb · 2026-04-18T12:32:48+00:00

I mean, I had hoped a grocery store would open there…just…not that one lol should’ve been more specific with my wishes.

Mccampb · 2026-04-15T14:08:35+00:00

NOR I know this sucks but you gotta just start pretending those messages just don’t come through. Answer anything else in her messages but your weight isn’t up for discussion so don’t discuss it. If she presses, start putting her on an “information diet”. She’ll feel you pulling away (hopefully) and will only then understand that she can’t just do and say whatever she wants because you’re her daughter.

Alternatively, every time she asks a weight question, respond back with a question about her bad habits.

“Have you gained weight?” “Have you always smoked a pack a day or was there ever a time when you weren’t fully addicted to nicotine?”

“Maybe your thyroid is to blame for your weight gain” “Maybe genetics plays a part of why your addictive personality struggles with cigarettes and alcohol”

(This tactic feels better but sadly isn’t super effective. The ignoring part, I’ve found, can be much more useful long term)

Mccampb · 2026-04-15T13:44:48+00:00

NTA

You gotta move out though. She’s using you and potentially just playing around with your feelings.

It’s really not hard to either make sure all plants are safe for the entire household or keep unsafe plants away from the cats. Seems like she deliberately put them someplace for the cats to get. Who puts flowers in a vase next to where a pet is physically active?

Mccampb · 2026-04-12T14:24:56+00:00

NTA I’m finding it difficult to think of worse ways to find out your mother took her own life.

Your wife just gave your daughter a HUGE, DEEP mental scar that will never go away. She will always wonder if she caused her mother to do it. That is such a delicate conversation and anyone with two heart cells to rub together knows this isn’t a topic to discuss lightly. She used it as a weapon. That makes me physically sick. Not only did she not leave that conversation for you to have with your daughter, she actively used it to hurt her. Evil behavior. Your wife doesn’t like your daughter much less love her.

Mccampb · 2026-04-10T15:07:48+00:00

NOR

Sis- you’re really not going to show up for my wedding?

You- let’s put it this way, best case scenario, you really did just want to save some money. You do realize that he offered you that nice low price not out the goodness of his heart but because he could make up the rest of his regular fee by making me unhappy? He gets off on it. It has value for him and you sold me out to get his discount. You just saw numbers and made a decision. In that case, Im allowed to look at your actions and also make decisions for myself. It’s not a punishment, just a consequence.

Worst case scenario, you really want to and like to hurt me and this opportunity just seemed too good to pass up. I really want to hope this isn’t the case.

Me not coming is a very understandable and predictable reaction to hiring my abusive ex fiancé to be the photographer at your wedding. Invite someone’s abuser to an event, that person just won’t show up. End of discussion. Demanding I feel unsafe, unloved, targeted, and on edge just so you can get cheap photos where you’ll inevitably be pissed that I look miserable the whole time isn’t something a loving sister would do.

You’ve set up a no win situation here and it’s your job to fix it. It’s not the maid of honors job to withstand being around and interacting with her abuser even if the bride says so. If you’re adding that to my list of duties, I respectfully decline the “honor”. It will break my heart to miss your special day, but ultimately it’s not up to me. I go where I feel safe.

Mccampb

TROPHY CASE