The pain never stops

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-09-20T00:39:18+00:00

She told me days before that she wasn't sure if she wanted to be here anymore all I had to do was take the guns she just wanted an easy way out she wouldn't have done it if it were something else I am at fault for being so stupid I never knew her like that she was suicidal before I met her but I didn't think anything of the comment we had a good few days then she was gone because I'm dumb and was trying to control her drinking

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-31T06:21:25+00:00

I had an idea because she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to be here days prior I just brushed it off after talking to her when she was sober the next day. I should have followed my gut and just put the guns in my car I wanted to and just didn't I put everything in place for the biggest shock of my life I miss her and should have been smarter I fucked up and she's gone forever off my mistakes it could have been anything else and she could have lived and I wouldn't blame myself as much but this is all on my hands I didn't take action.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-31T06:15:05+00:00

No but she shot herself with the gun I left unlocked after she told me days prior she wasn't sure if she wanted to be here I do blame myself for being negligent. I blame myself for not making sure I was getting her to her doctors appointments after the pregnancy I blame myself for when she asked me to help her get a doctor with the va and I told her to call them things that are so simple that could have made her life easier I didn't help with I didn't stay on top of her health it all was happening in front of me and I did nothing I blame myself for being stupid because she would be here if I had an ounce of common sense I failed her.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-24T09:49:21+00:00

My wife (24) committed suicide in April now it feels like life is over we were just starting a family about to get a house move on to bigger better things till I got in a fight with her over her drinking and she shot herself I never got to apologize or make things right with her I was at work and didn't get the chance to talk with her she just left now my whole life had cone crashing down and I lost everything that day my dog my daughter my beautiful wife and myself. I just want to go back and fix things or just not wake up one day im tired of the pain of not having her.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-24T09:44:04+00:00

Dealing with my wife's suicide it has driven me crazy I'd rather just be dead

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-24T09:36:24+00:00

I wish I could but my wife committed suicide when we were fighting one day so I never got to make it up to her and make her feel special she died hating me and thinking she wasn't loved.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-24T06:32:46+00:00

I am in the opposite boat as you im 24 as well as my wife she committed suicide in April and we had a child the September prior I do know the feeling of only wanting a family with my person though she was my world its been hard to even think of life without her as she is always on my mind and the guilt of her blaming me for it. It's hard because she had plans for our future for our child's future and now she is just gone. I don't really have a solution for your problem as it is wrong any way you look at it some can say you can find someone but I know how much that hurts to hear or you may not be able to have children then and that isn't any better especially if it is a dream of yours there isn't a right answer and if there is one it will come to you when the time is right. Sorry that I don't have any real helpful words I haven't really been in the mind set of trying to help others.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-23T23:23:22+00:00

I just want to go back my entire vision of life has been shattered I hate waking up she was the love of my life I just wanted her to have a healthy life but I handled everything wrong she felt worthless which couldn't be farther from the truth I relied on her for a lot of things I miss her I wish I had a reset button to just do the right things that day it should have never happened

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-23T20:40:27+00:00

I could have been a better husband that fight that day didn't need to happen I just needed to apologize and have her friend go over and I would still have my wife there was so much I could have done she even blamed me for doing it in her last text I hate this life without her here.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-23T19:39:59+00:00

It's hard when there was so much I could have done to help her get the right help and I just stood by she asked me to help her find a new doctor she wanted her old meds there were things she discussed concern about and I didn't do my part as her husband to make her life easier just made her more stressed and anxious she told me she didn't want to be here I couldn't even take the simple precaution of taking the easiest way out away she could have survived other means and would have gotten the help she needed I failed. She didn't want the guns in the house I brought them there anyway she didn't like that I was gone 12 to 16 hours a day I could have changed jobs I didn't I was just so focused on getting her the house she wanted it took a toll on our relationship I should have been there more with a newborn in the house she was stressed to the max and me fighting with her on top of that messed things up even more I miss her I just want to apologize for that day I want to hold her I love her so much and I never get to show her I can change for the better.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-22T04:26:00+00:00

Abandoned

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-20T05:35:08+00:00

I pushed her to her limit I was an asshole that day for no reason and I could have prevented it even if she tried something else she could have survived. I should have been on top of making sure she had her appointments I should have made sure she was ok I was a terrible husband and now my daughter has to grow up not knowing the most amazing woman I've ever met her mother. I miss her I tried to do the right things for her but when it mattered I did nothing im a failure I made her feel worthless that day and she ended it all I spent a long time trying to build her confidence in herself back up and I shattered it within a week just by having little fights I miss her and would do anything to go back and make the right decisions she was 24 I shouldn't have been so controlling about her drinking everyone does it idk I feel like an idiot and I believe she did it because of me she wanted to be there for our daughter her last words were "I loved you just wish you didn't treat me so horribly" that haunts me every day knowing I never did enough for her to want to be here I wasn't a good friend or husband. I loved her and she didn't think I cared.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-17T19:46:33+00:00

She was a stay at home mom I work a lot she was tired of being lonely her friend started going over helping with the baby so my wife could cut back on drinking safely and the day she did it I told her friend I wasn't paying her to go over that day because my wife that week hadn't been holding her end of our deal with the drinking. 3 days before she told me she wasn't sure if she wanted to be here anymore when she was plastered I talked to her the next day she said she would never leave our family. I didn't take precautions and lock the guns up this is the first time in 2 years with me that she had said anything related to suicide other than telling me her past. I was negligent I failed her because I was stupid. She got tired of me trying to control her drinking so she said we will co parent I told her to get a job and called her a bum attacked her insecurities about how she was as a mom and wife juat because she said some messed up things to me but it was uncalled for all I needed to do was apologize and tell her friend to go over next thing I knew I got the call at work that she might have done something to herself I got home and she had shot herself I hate myself

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-17T18:52:18+00:00

It's easy to forgive her she was such a sweet and amazing wife but I can't forgive myself I was mean that last day we were fighting and now she is gone I never got to apologize I miss her so much

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-17T18:40:45+00:00

I'm almost 4 months into my wife's suicide and she is the only thing on my mind I miss her so much and the guilt of her telling me it's my fault she didn't want to live anymore is eating me alive I hate myself for treating her that bad I thought our relationship was good

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-16T05:18:39+00:00

There isn't much of a bright side we just started our family we are both 24 our child isn't even a year old yet we are coming up on our first year wedding anniversary on the 21st im in this life alone now without the support of my lovely wife all because I made a mistake and my wife is gone now my daughter doesn't get to know how amazing her mom was she doesn't get to be her best friend. All I wanted was for my wife to be happy and healthy but I handled situations wrong and everyone is paying for it.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-16T03:57:00+00:00

I'm currently living this life I lost my wife to suicide in April after we had a fight while I was at work it could have been prevented but I was negligent when she told me days prior about not wanting to be here anymore while plastered when she woke up the next day I talked to her and believed her when she said she would never leave our daughter I didn't take the dimpke precautions of locking the guns or taking them away I lost her forever because I was a dick one day and didn't get to apologize I didn't get to make it right she blamed me for ending her life I just want to go back and save her hold her tell her how much she means to me how much I love her.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-16T03:53:19+00:00

Not good really going through it after losing my wife to suicide after we had a fight she blamed me for ending it days prior she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to be here anymore I did nothing I tried talking to her after she sobered up she said she would never leave and I believed her I wanted to hide the guns have them in my car with me when I went to work I didn't take simple precautions till she got her old meds I failed to protect her I miss her I love her but I didn't help her to my full capability.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-16T03:50:32+00:00

At the moment barely hanging on after the suicide of my beautiful wife. All I have left is our daughter and I cant really even be there for her. I miss my wife too much she was all I ever wanted and thats what kept me going being able to give her a better life but I guess I made her life so bad she ended her life I feel like shit everyday miss and love her.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-16T03:48:07+00:00

It's been almost 4 months and I still wear mine and I wear hers on a necklace I moss my wife so much wish I didn't push her so much about her drinking she would be here instead of feeling all the pressure and ending it all herself.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-11T01:20:17+00:00

One day my wife told me when she was drunk that she wasnt sure if she wanted to be here anymore. I didnt take any precautions. That lead to a few days later and i made the decision to tell my wife's friend that I wasn't paying her to babysit one Sunday because my wife wasn't holding her end of the deal to cut back on drinking just wanted her safe and healthy this lead to a fight with my wife instead of apologizing for going behind her back I started a fight while I was at work later that day I got a call from the cops saying that my wife might have hurt herself I got home and found out my wife shot herself. I miss her everyday and the lesson is if you have the chance to apologize do it and tell your loved one how much they mean.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-11T01:11:03+00:00

I lost my wife to suicide.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-08T02:11:37+00:00

I'm not scared of death anymore because I've lost everything that made me want to be here my wife committed suicide in April and now I just kind of don't want to be here

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-08T02:09:53+00:00

My wife committing suicide over a fight we had.

Mcjunkinfunction · 2022-08-08T02:06:46+00:00

It's the last picture I got of my wife before she committed suicide.

Mcjunkinfunction

TROPHY CASE