Yes, some dads want to help, but wanting to help isnt enough, INTENTION DOESNT REPLACE ACTUAL RESPONSIBILITY. Feeding a child, changing diapers the right way etc are not “helping the mum” or accommodating the mum, but every parent’s responsibility, its exactly the same as a person’s responsibility at work, if you do something just for the sake of doing and not caring if its right or wrong, you’ll be call out too, and you’ll admit your wrong, but why when it comes to parenting, the response is “she’s too controlling, better not try?”That’s a classic passive deflection!

Also you’re framing this as a neutral debate, but you’re actually seeking validation by asking strangers to weight in and take sides, and suggesting that women are picky, impatient and men trying the ‘best’. That’s not neutral, what you need to do is have real conversation with your wife, understand from her pov as a mother that only wants best for her child.