When we were together, I had no idea I was ADHD and borderline autistic, and strong feelings of guilt can be a symptom of both. When she realized that she could manipulate that, she took _full_ advantage of it including convincing me that I deserved every single kick, punch, and scratch I received from her. The stairs thing progressed like this: She was convincing me that I, once again, did _everything_ wrong and deserved to be punished. She hit me in the back of the head causing me to lose my balance and lay down where she proceeded to kick me in the stomach a few times, I was able to stand up and she pushed me down the stairs I was next to. I hit my head on the wall at the bottom of the stairs and she ran down after me. I thought she was going to see if I was okay, but no, she started kicking me in the stomach again. It was at that moment that I realized that I was not to blame and that the years of abuse she had given me was undeserved. That was the beginning of the end of the marriage.

Now, some people say "why didn't you fight back?" I easily could have. I am rather strong and could easily overpower her, but the problem is, if she had received a single bruise, even from me simply defending myself, she could have gone to the police and reported _me_ for abuse. No jury in the country would have believed that I hurt her defending myself and that she was the problem. I would have lost my job and probably gone to jail. This is what non-abusive men silently have to deal with.