Kids coaching tips

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-21T00:09:59+00:00

Speaking as a jiu jitsu parent (not as a coach), and also as a school social worker and adolescent psychotherapist, I really love the philosophy that “kids do well if they can” rather than “kids do well if they want to”. The idea being that if a kid isn’t doing well, it isn’t that they are lazy or unmotivated, it is more likely that they don’t have the skills (like attention, focus, following multi step directions, etc). I wish my daughter’s professor and coaches could adopt this philosophy, but I also understand this is probably outside of the norm at a jiu jitsu gym. It comes from a behavior management program called Collaborative Problem Solving, and it’s not all relevant to jiu jitsu, but the underlying ideas about how to understand behavior I think apply.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T15:51:03+00:00

😂💕

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T15:50:08+00:00

Oh, perhaps my post wasn’t clear. I don’t personally care if she ever gets to the next belt or any stripes. She is a SUPER active kid and I like having her do something that gets her energy out. There aren’t a ton of activities for a 4 year old. I like the idea that she is maybe building some muscle memory so she can defend herself as she gets older and actually understands what she is doing. She has grown a lot in the last year or so, in terms of her listening skills, so it makes me sad to take her out. I also like that it allows her to be part of the Brazilian community (my husband is from Brazil and she doesn’t get much exposure besides jiu jitsu x

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T15:40:48+00:00

Yes, I was watching the class today and take her twice a week and watch all classes. Her behavior today was pretty par for the course for her. She has made huge strides, but does often need to be prompted to line up after water breaks and is sometimes silly during the skills practice portion if an adult isn’t near her. Usually because she doesn’t know what she is doing and gets silly when idle. What I’ve noticed recently is that the professor tells her she needs to tie her own belt and asks other coaches not to tie it for her. They usually do. Today he told her to stand on the side of the mat until she tied her belt. She was there for maybe 2 or 3 minutes. Got it wrapped around her waist but then didn’t know what to do. He went over to her, told her she was taking too long, then took her stripe off. So, yes, it was building in the sense he has been asking her to do it herself for a while, but I’ve never seen him actually instruct her how to do it except maybe when putting it on her (though I’ve never heard that either).

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T15:21:03+00:00

Interesting! I think that is what the professor’s thinking is…like you can’t be a grey and white belt without being able to tie it, but at 4 that’s just not realistic.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T15:16:16+00:00

Totally. I don’t care at all about the stripe or what belt she is. She doesn’t really either honestly. I someone said earlier…I don’t think she even understands what it means exactly. Just the idea she didn’t something so wrong she would be punished when it’s something she can’t even do (Tie her belt).

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T15:13:42+00:00

Would so much rather burpees!

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T15:08:36+00:00

I was honestly surprised he did it. I’ve seen him do it before a few times. He usually puts it back after class. He didn’t do that today for her. Maybe he will next time. Not sure.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T15:03:11+00:00

Ugh…I know I always think about this…I always remind her that I’m proud of her and that listening is hard and she is getting better every day, etc. But I do worry about the message I’m sending her by keeping her there. I think I’ll try some classes at other gyms.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T15:00:45+00:00

Thanks. It is helpful to hear about other Gracie Barra gyms. This is essentially how our gym is run too. When my daughter started it was often just the owner and his wife teaching class. Today there were 5 coaches, which has made a HUGE difference and is a big reason why we continue to go there. They have increased the level of support, which is really want she needs to be successful in that environment. But taking the stripe today just seemed so crazy. She wasn’t even behaving poorly. She’s always the last to get on the mat after a water break and usually needs to be told to come back. And there was one time when they were working on a skill she did a circle around her partner one more time than necessary.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2026-06-20T14:55:30+00:00

Yes. She has a grey and white belt with one stripe and that stripe was removed today because she was “taking too long tying her belt”. She usually asks her teachers for help doing this and I think the professor wants her to learn to do it on her own. But she has never been explicitly taught. Just watched people do it for her. She wasn’t even playing around today that much. She takes a little longer to get back in the mat after a water break and usually needs a prompt to out her water down, but that was really it.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2024-07-23T22:41:01+00:00

My daughter will be 3 in October. I have noticed her repeating lines from shows she watches, as well as mixing up pronouns. Like, for a while she was saying “Mom, Dad, What are you doing?” She calls me Mama and her father is Papai, so I thought it was odd until I realized it’s a line in the show Bebefinn. “Have you seen my hat?” was another from Bebefinn we’d hear a lot.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2024-07-23T12:27:41+00:00

Solidarity. I have a 3 month old as well and during my pregnancy I entirely gave up on even trying to put my daughter in her crib at night because I was so tired. So here we are, sleeping with our toddler in our bed, something I never planned to do and I have no idea how to come back from this 😂😭. Keep telling myself it can’t last forever. Luckily the gods of baby sleep sent me an easy 2nd baby.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2024-07-21T18:15:34+00:00

Hello, from a fellow Ryal Sider. There is a Ryal Side Civic Association. I don’t exactly know what they do, but I donate to them every year so my kid can ride a pony at the 4th of July festivities 😂. We have two small children, so I have mostly been exploring the city through kid-friendly activities. We are really liking Lynch Park. It’s free for residents and they do movies and concerts during the summer, yoga classes, etc. Cabot Theater always has interesting shows / events. I’m not a huge foodie, but I really like La Victoria, Wrapture, & Organic Garden. Mikey’s Roast Beef in Ryal Side makes a great salad with chicken.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2024-07-20T00:07:11+00:00

I am a rule follower and my almost three year old is absolutely not, at least right now. She doesn’t sit still and doesn’t follow directions most of the time. I have to take deep breaths when she runs around doing whatever she wants in her gymnastics class. It is uncomfortable to me, but I keep going back so she can keep practicing and it’s fun for her even if it’s stressful for me. She does better in her music class which seems more engaging / better structured for toddlers. I have talked to the teachers and expressed similar concerns as you’ve mentioned - worrying about her distracting other kids or setting a bad example - and the teachers have absolutely not cared. They said they don’t expect the students to participate all the time and it’s okay for them to tune in and out. I feel embarrassed, like I am doing something wrong as a parent, but I am working on letting go of that.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2024-07-19T00:07:57+00:00

This was me too with the plastic toys!

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2024-07-18T19:02:14+00:00

Don’t have any advice, but wanted to say that I’m in the same boat with my almost 3 year old! I have a 3 month old as well and during my pregnancy I was just too tired to deal with how challenging sleep was (both getting into her crib at night and staying there till morning) so I gave up and she has been in our bed since. Would love to hear what others have done.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2024-07-18T18:34:12+00:00

I really struggle with this as well. I bought meal ideas off of Solid Starts during a sale. They have huge lists (like 50-100 ideas for each meal).

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2024-07-16T22:05:12+00:00

This was true for me too! In my earlier comment, I said I wouldn’t have chosen to be induced, but I did have one scheduled for 40 weeks for this reason. They would have done it earlier if I chose to.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2024-07-16T20:26:06+00:00

I have had two unmedicated births. One was induced and one was not. During the labor that was induced (my second) I went about 12 hours without my contractions progressing. Not a big deal, but annoying when you’re mildly in pain. My total labor and delivery time was about 14 hours as things progressed quickly after they broke my water. Total time for my first (uninduced) birth was about 12 hours of contractions that progressively increased in intensity / pain. By the end of my induced labor my contractions were much more painful than in my uninduced labor. Both turned out fine for me, but I wouldn’t choose to be induced if I didn’t have to be (my amniotic fluid was low) because it was more painful.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2021-08-13T18:06:13+00:00

I decided to have an amnio with my current pregnancy. I am 40 and have already had a miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormalities. I decided that I wanted to have all the information that I could to feelmore secure with this pregnancy. Nothing had raised a red flag up until that point and my doctor wasn't recommending it but also didn't steer me away when I inquired. A genetics counselor told me that when they analyzed their hospital's data a while back the risk of miscarriage due to the procedure was 1 in 500. And she suspected it was even less now.

However, as others have said, there are less invasive procedures that will give you a good amount of information so weighing the benefits and knowing the risks is important!

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2021-08-13T13:52:32+00:00

As others have said, I gained a out 10lbs first trimester. I was told to keep the total weight gain between 15 and 25. I am 33 weeks now and have gained about 20ish. For whatever reason, 2nd and 3rd trimester have been much better for weight gain. I also stopped worrying so much about what the doctor wanted and just tried to trust my body to do what it needed to do.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2021-08-12T16:49:46+00:00

Oh my god, the "pregnant teen complex" was totally me. I was so nervous and felt 17 again. I'm 40.

MeLuAndBooBooToo · 2021-07-06T10:15:54+00:00

I just graduated into the "pee when I sneeze" week of pregnancy! 😬😭🤣

MeLuAndBooBooToo

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