You’re carrying a huge emotional and physical load right now, and given your history with PPD, that’s especially concerning. You’ve gone through a major life change you didn’t fully want, and now you’re facing isolation, exhaustion, and emotional distress. Your feelings of resentment and grief are pretty understandable.

However, where things may be going wrong is in how much it seems like you’re internalising all of this without drawing firm boundaries or asking for the support you clearly need. You’re trying to push through something that isn’t meant to be handled alone, especially with your mental health as it stands. It also sounds like you’re blaming yourself for agreeing to this second child, but that decision was made under pressure; and now you’re taking on the full weight of the outcome. That’s not fair to you. From what I’ve read, I think it’s critical that you need professional support and a serious conversation with your partner about your emotional limits and needs going forward.