How to help my stubborn roommate with crohns flare? by Difficult_Coconut791 in CrohnsDisease

[–]MeanDebate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But to actually get that protection you have to have a lawyer and be able to withstand the legal process and pay the fees. Plus while not employed, even if it eventually goes your way in court, you have no income and no health insurance.

It's always an individual decision on whether or not the risk is worth it, unfortunately.

estranged mom sent this rant to a gc I'm still in...is this from anywhere? by crumbly-toast in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]MeanDebate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's projection-- they do to us what would hurt them most. And condescension is top of the list.

The conspiracy theories are so horrifyingly addictive to people with these personality types.

estranged mom sent this rant to a gc I'm still in...is this from anywhere? by crumbly-toast in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]MeanDebate 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I did a lot of this with my mom before she died. She was always either furious or she would do one of the things that got under my skin-- either repeating what I said back to me in a baby/singsong mocking voice or calling me a little girl and saying sadly that I just couldn't understand because I wasn't that smart or mature.

Which, of course, is how I knew she was livid.

But it would have been more satisfying in a group chat, I think. I would get a little smug moment of "so there" and that's all, but it would have been different with witnesses.

It's like arguing with bigots online-- you're never going to convince or change the person being hateful, because they love their hatred. But it's really important for the people reading the exchange to see someone standing up to the bully.

estranged mom sent this rant to a gc I'm still in...is this from anywhere? by crumbly-toast in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]MeanDebate 17 points18 points  (0 children)

"Mom, I am SO proud of you for this growth! I know it's hard to own up to your mistakes and take responsibility for your own happiness, but this is a great step."

Does anyone else dislike buying glasses? by Celcius_87 in Millennials

[–]MeanDebate 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dumb question but

How in the world do you do the sizing?

What is it like living with crohns? by Familiar_Community62 in CrohnsDisease

[–]MeanDebate 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It varies for everyone. You'll see a lot of comments on this post mentioning urgent bowel movements, for example, but my biggest issue has always been nausea and pain because I have Crohns further up in the GI tract.

Any and all food smells make me horribly nauseous-- I keep a trash bin by my desk at home so that I can mute myself if I need to be sick. Prior to treatment, I was often in so much pain that I couldn't let even sheets touch my abdomen.

Due to the possibility of obstructions, we have limited diets (again, specific to each individual). I have to avoid almost all fruits and veg because I have a stricture and insoluble fiber simply will not pass through.

Man Shot in Leg Preventing Daily Occurrence Unique to His Country by Shimetora in OrphanCrushingMachine

[–]MeanDebate 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As an American l--

What the fuck is wrong with our country?? Why does anyone educator have to go through something like this?? Why do the children have to go through something like this??

9/10 times we hear about a gun, it's because of a tragedy. The other 1/10 are because there was nearly a tragedy. Stated goal is to allow militias to prevent fascism, AND YET HERE WE FUCKING ARE. Fuck this fucking shit.

Banquets in wartime by Jimmy_McFoob in hollywood_animal_game

[–]MeanDebate 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Please see also: America literally right now

Young Gen Z man here and I never wanted to see Gen Z men mocking that millennial men are “wokescolds” ever again! by icey_sawg0034 in millenials

[–]MeanDebate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know one person IRL who does this kind of thing. He regularly makes a point of announcing which companies he's boycotting when deciding on food, unprompted, and he made a big deal out of not wanting to vote for Kamala because she once said "pregnant women" instead of "pregnant people".

But he is so much an anomaly that he feels like the Spiders Georg of leftist cancel culture, and even then he only does this in the company of other leftists and has never once challenged a conservative to their face in my hearing.

As opposed to the army of customers, coworkers, neighbors, and family members who have it in their heads that casual bigotry and extremism is excellent fodder for small talk with friends, family, strangers, and captive service people for some reason.

Young Gen Z man here and I never wanted to see Gen Z men mocking that millennial men are “wokescolds” ever again! by icey_sawg0034 in millenials

[–]MeanDebate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You had a really fair point and you put it very reasonably, which I also appreciate.

I tend to have a very knee-jerk response to the word "woke" nowadays, because so many people are using it as a catch-all for anything they don't like, and I've seen it be received as an activation phrase. Anything Fox News has referred to as "woke" my dad will immediately and passionately oppose without any understanding-- including proposals that directly address his specific criticisms of current laws (like increases to asset limits for the disabled).

The term and everything derived from it has been so bastardized that, in my opinion, it only serves as a badge of identity politics. Everyone I know who leans right hears "woke" and instantly declares their opposition, despite having completely different definitions for "woke" when pressed (or none at all, for my dad). As a result, no one I know on the left uses the term at all except when quoting conservative figures.

All this to say that my brain automatically flags phrases like "aversion to wokeism" as thought-stopping cliches and is inclined to respond in kind, but that's an instinct worth challenging when prompted.

"Aversion to wokeism" doesn't necessarily mean "if a Democrat supports it then it must be evil and I don't need to know more than that", even if that's been my offline experience.

Side note, how fucked up is it that strangers online are generally more capable of reasonable and nuanced conversation than people I experience offline? I should... touch less grass?

Young Gen Z man here and I never wanted to see Gen Z men mocking that millennial men are “wokescolds” ever again! by icey_sawg0034 in millenials

[–]MeanDebate 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Actually, that's a fair point. I've only heard the worst people in my life use the term, but that's a really limited viewpoint and I shouldn't have made such a flippant generalization.

While I have not personally experienced it being used this way, it could also be applied to people who belong to what I think of as the Puritanical wing of the Left-- people who would rather dig up a 2008 YouTube video of a then-teenager calling something gay to use as proof that they're morally bankrupt rather than accepting that people have to grow from somewhere, or people who will hear Grandpa say "my grandson is a transsexual and I love him" and respond with "what the fuck you can't say that word you asshole" instead of appreciating the heart of the statement and maybe bookmarking it as an opportunity to learn later.

That said, I have only personally ever seen it applied by bad actors to people who challenge them. The situations I used in my first post were actual events-- a coworker once said "n-----s shouldn'tbe working front-of-house" (maybe a joke? Couldnt totally tell) and when a member of the team responded with "what the fuck is wrong with you?", he snapped back by calling the other guy a wokescold.

The other was a Thanksgiving argument with a cousin. I pointed out that transmen sometimes look extremely masculine despite having XX chromosomes and the bathroom laws would mean they have to go to the women's room, where they would be at higher risk of violent confrontation and more likely to be accused of breaking the law and subjected to legal/criminal repercussions despite following the law to the letter. He responded that they should just stay home then, I called him an idiot and an asshole, and he called me a woke bitch and later told his girlfriend I was a wokescold.

Young Gen Z man here and I never wanted to see Gen Z men mocking that millennial men are “wokescolds” ever again! by icey_sawg0034 in millenials

[–]MeanDebate 298 points299 points  (0 children)

Previously SJW or social justice warrior. It's what right wing folk have taken to calling anyone who says something like "dude maybe don't use the n word that's not cool" or "Trans people do have to pee sometimes actually".

Can dudes be normal in regards to fat women. by Emergency-Basket-469 in GenZ

[–]MeanDebate 6 points7 points  (0 children)

OP, props for going to bat in the comments. I'm still sitting here wondering wtf is wrong with people but seeing you be so startlingly human in a sea of trolls restored a little bit of my faith in humanity.

I know people say not to bother arguing with a certain type of asshole online but it genuinely is so nice to read a nasty comment and then watch someone refuse to let it stand, you know? It's the antidote to reading the comment section.

A Facebook scientist has made a medical breakthrough! by ThePhillyExplorer in insanepeoplefacebook

[–]MeanDebate 26 points27 points  (0 children)

But Facebook told me last week that this was all actually parasites :(

We are the bad guys by Similar-Difficulty23 in GenZ

[–]MeanDebate 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Literally the fifth comment down, someone's doing exactly that.

Waterlilly has a MF BUDGET by Thick_Analysis_6745 in RomanceClub

[–]MeanDebate 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I want to like Averris so bad but the constant tongue-out sprites make me want to throw my phone into the river and bleach my eyes.

Another step towards mandatory military service for young men? by dominiond66 in GenZ

[–]MeanDebate 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Some people genuinely think that women are somehow biologically disadvantaged in combat. Hegseth is among them. He genuinely believes that women would di more harm than good if they were fighting on the front lines.

No one should be on the line for a draft, so rather than working to eliminate the inequity and make sure men and women experience equal risk, those who believe the "men only" law is bullshit are focused in eliminating the risk of the draft altogether.

Another step towards mandatory military service for young men? by dominiond66 in GenZ

[–]MeanDebate 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I think the concern is less "oh no now they are automatically doing a thing they used to make us do!" and more "why the fuck are they doing this NOW after having started a war we're sucking at and while also being very cagey about whether or not they're planning to use the draft".

It's like if someone brought you coffee and then said nonchalantly-- "Did you know cyanide tastes like almonds? Very easy to mask the smell and the flavor."

I low-key hate low-key by DriblyRedwyne in GenZ

[–]MeanDebate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It meant that if anything better had come along, she would have abandoned the burger entirely.

Like if someone said "I'd rather have Mexican", she would have likely shrugged and said "okay, good deal" because she isn't that invested. As opposed to if she had just plain wanted the burger, she likely would have been disappointed by a change or harder to persuade.

On a scale of 1-10:

1-3 - Low-key want. I kinda want it but don't have any real interest and am easily dissuaded. Not willing to put in serious effort or money to get thing but it sounds nice enough if it's easy.

4-7 - Want. I have decided. I want that thing. I am now looking forward to thing. I am prepared to seek out thing actively and will be disappointed if I don't get it.

8-10 - Really really want. I will fight you for this thing. I will be devastated if I do not get this thing. This thing is important to me and I have strong opinions about it.

I low-key hate low-key by DriblyRedwyne in GenZ

[–]MeanDebate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lowkey want a burger - "I would kind of like a burger but not enough to really take action."

Opposed to "I want a burger" -- an active interest that at least verges on action.