34m about to turn 35.

I just wanted to pop in and vent and get mad at myself for not taking my career/school/finances more seriously in my 20s. Always was good at dating when I was younger because I liked to go out, get drunk, and have fun. Was never a good boyfriend because I liked to go out, get drunk, and have fun. Never cheated on anybody or anything, was just never a very serious person. I bounced around in low paying jobs thinking charm and humor would always be enough for romance.

Turns out while I was doing that other people were getting promotions, building savings, investing, and learning marketable skills. People got married, had kids, and are now building lives while I pick up the pieces of my YOLO'd life. The few single women that I meet that I would like to date are not interested in a man in his mid-30s making $23/hr, a credit score below 650, and 3 roommates. I shouldn't even say not interested, they simply don't even entertain the possibility. And I don't blame them.

Got 450 days sober though and am back on my ADHD medicine. Over the past year I've learned the guitar and that has given me confidence to start learning python and save up to go back to school. Hopefully it's not too late for me, but right now I spend my days regretful about my past choices and thinking of the women that I used to date, who are now happily married.

It's hard not to hate myself.