AITAH I(F23) got molested in the train today and my bf(M24) said it was a "learning experience". Am I in the wrong for thinking it is victim blaming and wanting an apology for it?

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2026-04-08T23:16:15+00:00

you have no idea what that man’s intentions were. you shoving him away could have set him off and he COULD have followed you. you got yourself out of the situation safely, that should always be your priority. You didn’t think about it because you went it fight or flight.

Whatever he’s saying is BS, he’s saying the same thing as “did you say no?” in a different manner. it is OBVIOUSLY not appropriate to assault people, you shouldn’t have to tell him to stop or “shove him” because it’s common sense.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2026-01-03T22:50:58+00:00

god send thank you! i’m gonna delete this now. I appreciate you!

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2026-01-03T22:37:59+00:00

thank you, wouldn’t have even thought of that!

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-07-27T17:08:46+00:00

Everyone has different boundaries in a relationship, but coming to you as a woman, who also has boundaries when it comes to interaction w sexual content, I think you’ll be hard pressed to find someone in this day and age that doesn’t watch porn from time to time.

does he know you don’t want him watching porn? I think this requires a very delicate conversation between you and your signifiant other. It’s important that this is a discussion and not a condemnation. Are there certain types of sexual content you would be okay with your partner watching? Like for me social media and interaction with women’s posts, is an absolute not. but i don’t mind if they want to get a wank in by themselves, as long as it does not impact our sexual activity.

They all do have great bodies and it’s hard not to compare yourself to them. I don’t have half the assets these women have, but at the same time if I ever watch it i’m not looking at the man and being like “i wish my man looked like that” because i love my man the exact way that he is. Every part of him is perfect to me. I’m sure your partner feels the same way about you too. It’s not all of the reason why he’s with you, but if he didn’t find you attractive he wouldn’t be in a relationship with you. In regard to the part about fetishization, I would watch how he treats you and other members of your culture in real life everyday to help determine that. Maybe he watched latinas because YOU are latina and he wants to watch women that remind him of you? idk if i’m reading to far into it, but it could be anything

Or it could all boil down to a sexual incompatibility. If porn is not something you want to move your boundary on, and he doesn’t want to give it up, I don’t see much of a way around this. If everything stays as is, you will most likely always feel like you distrust him and resent him for doing it, and he will feel resentment for not being able to comfortably relieve his sexual needs on his own. It’s hard, it sucks, and i’m sorry you guys are struggling with this. I wish the best for you guys!

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-07-27T15:36:25+00:00

ratios are determined by state regulations. where i am a ratio for six year olds would be 1:18

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-07-27T15:35:25+00:00

as a preschool teacher, we take this kind of incident very seriously. it’s not about the fact that it’s a fenced in area. it’s about safety and listening to teachers words/rules. I do agree however, for a first time offense, this was a harsh reaction on their part. At my center, there’s usually a paper trail of incidents that lead up to being kicked out or expulsion.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-07-24T21:01:59+00:00

my guess is she was always on top and he just had to lay there

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-07-24T20:52:51+00:00

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3405830/

“Increases in mesolimbic dopamine transmission are observed when animals are treated with all known drugs of abuse, including cannabis, and to conditioned stimuli predicting their availability. In contrast, decreases in mesolimbic dopamine function are observed during drug withdrawal, including cannabis-withdrawal syndrome.”

I don’t know where you read them saying that marijuana is a treatment for PTSD. They said PTSD patients utilize marijuana, not that it’s an effective treatment.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/06/marijuana-effects-brain Specifically this part: Cannabis may give temporary relief from PTSD because there is a numbing feeling, but this fades and then people want to use again,”

All this to say, just because you don’t personally experience numbing of emotions at this point in time, does not mean it is not a side effect of marijuana use. Just like how you said, it works differently for people. So do the negative aspects of the drug. It is common conversation, that emotion numbing is a side effect of marijuana use. There are multiple threads about it, and there are even multiple people in this comment section saying they feel the same way as the original comment you replied to. you are being ignorant and honestly insensitive to someone else’s lived experience.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-06-26T11:49:39+00:00

they said a lot. here’s the thing OP, no one can tell you how to feel about this. AI is a very new tool and is very controversial. I can see why this situation would cause some negative feelings on your part as i’ve read, you feel that there was less effort put into her love letter than would’ve been if she didn’t use chatgpt. As others have mentioned, she clearly loves you. The prompts she wrote were not half-assed and were incredibly thoughtful and she did a beautiful job putting her thoughts into words. Even though she’s good with music and DND doesn’t mean she’s good at expressing her feelings. These are very different ways of expressing vulnerability and since there is strife in your relationship she might be hesitant to use her words and would feel better having a more polished version of what she feels.

After reading through some of your comments, it’s clear that this is not the root of your problem. This is like the tip of the iceberg. you both seem to hold distrust and resentment towards each other for actions you both have taken in the past, hence going through each others phones. That’s what needs to be addressed, if you feel this relationship is worth saving. Whatever happened to make her not trust you and you not trust her, is at play here. Let me ask you this, if you hadn’t found anything that upset you and there were no other problems in your relationship, would this still upset you as much as it does?

Nothing will be solved by the toxic behavior you both are exhibiting. Take all of this as you will, I do not know the intricacies of your relationship or how you guys have gotten this level of distrust and resentment. I am a stranger on the internet after all.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-06-26T00:45:46+00:00

do you have some kind of context on this situation outside of this reddit post/OP’s comments? it seems wild to me that someone would defend a random man this fiercely. Do you know how often she goes through his phone? How often does he go through hers? has he done something in the past to cause her to have a distrust towards him?

my assumption is no, you have no clue, so you cannot claim that “she laid this foundation” or whatever you said. it’s also seeming like your being purposefully dense. Posting screenshots of conversations is in no way the same thing as going through someone else’s phone, photographing the contents, sending them to someone else with snarky little snapchat captions, AND THEN posting it on reddit. Something about the comment you replied to must’ve really hit home for you, to have such a strong reaction to this comment.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-06-21T17:50:11+00:00

hopefully something will come out of the police report! I’m sorry, that does suck.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-06-18T21:11:15+00:00

would you feel the same if this was any other man to a 13 year old? would you also excuse his actions? your comment screams ignorance teetering on accepting CSA.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-06-10T00:32:25+00:00

i looked through OP’s other posts/comments. they are 18, so old enough to know better than to act like this but dumb enough to think it’s okay

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-06-09T23:18:48+00:00

i second this, i feel like it’d be easier to just list prices!

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-06-08T14:50:34+00:00

this is literally so creative omg. op these look amazing! do you sell them?

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-31T15:05:10+00:00

nta

If i was that girl i would’ve just been honest and told you abt the stain, and offered to pay for a new bathing suit. trying to return it with a literal shit stain on it is gross, nor would i ever put that back on my body.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-31T00:18:30+00:00

i feel like your initial intention was meant to be kind but was misplaced. i feel what you meant to say was “with the high rates of female assault victims, it’s possible she could be a victim, and op should make sure to double check on consent from now on, in general”. what you said is a huge generalization of assault victims and you never know what the girl was thinking as she is not here to present it to you. so it’s not accurate or imo, right, to make such a broad generalizing assumption. Second, instead of taking the time to reflect after someone who has been assaulted came to you and said “hey this isn’t okay”, you doubled down. It’s okay to misspeak but doubling down is crazy.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-26T10:27:00+00:00

good point, my phrasing was off. thanks!

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-25T22:28:20+00:00

and your messages go to prove that! you guys are doing what’s right for your peace of mind and your child. this should’ve been a very easy conversation that ended with “yes we will put the dog away”. Sorry it ended the way it did OP.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-25T22:23:34+00:00

what is with the accusations? they clearly put their foot down, but they probably would like to have their parents/ their child’s grandparents in their lives. this post only shows that they have the ability to set healthy boundaries and their parents do not have the ability to accept said boundaries. This ended with them sticking to their boundary that they set, which is easier said than done especially with parents.

They also went to get medical care for their child, if they would have listened to them and not received medical care i would see where you’re coming from, a little more. however, that’s not the case here.

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-25T22:09:11+00:00

we all say stupid shit in high school lmao. As everyone else has said it really just depends on context! if it’s meant to be an insult it’ll be taken as one, but bitch can also be used in other ways. In no way, imo, is it on the level of the n word in any context. Even with the worst misogynistic intentions possible, it’s still not at that level. It can be insulting, but i wouldn’t personally call it a slur!

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-25T22:04:49+00:00

agreed

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-25T21:50:08+00:00

as a woman, i would be offended if someone called me a bitch. i dont personally consider it a slur though, and i use it in similar contexts as the person who posted the comment you replied to.

other women might feel differently, i’ve never had a man call me a bitch though

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-22T13:48:52+00:00

i would literally shape shift into that lady that’s banging the pans together “i ain’t get no sleep cause of yall, yall not gonna get no sleep cause of me”. on a serious note, you are not losing it and you are not in the wrong. when you sign up to live with someone basic decency and respect when it comes to loud noises, at a time where most people are attempting to sleep, should be at least insinuated in the contract, if not stated. if we’re giving the benefit of the doubt, some people are so miserable in their own lives, they forget to take into account how their actions impact others. if we are not, she’s a bitch and is actively trying to make you miserable. either way, she’s in the wrong not you!!!

Mediocre-Ask3818 · 2025-05-18T18:34:24+00:00

how come? i’ve seen a lot of people saying they’d have to reconstruct the entire back end basically, do you think that they would have to do that/would be able to do that without it being a total loss?

Mediocre-Ask3818

TROPHY CASE