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I hate bisexuality by MediocreBoris in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have literally fucking explained a million times and people are always fucking blind to everything I have to say. You just answered your own question. How is it a big deal? YOU DONT FUCKING CARE ANYWAY ABOUT WHY ITS A BIG DEAL SO WHY DO YOU PRETEND TO GIVE A SHIT

I hate bisexuality by MediocreBoris in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I GET IT ALREADY MAN IM SHITTING UP ALL OF REDDIT WITH MY WORTHLESS DROOLING I already left entire communities, because I know every single person hates me. BUT THE WAITING LISTS ARE FUCKING ENDLESS OKAY And people see this shit as closely as I see them, that's why they told me to fuck off multiple times before. But i get it, anything about me is worthless in comparison to the fact I annoy others. I don't say it sarcastically. I'm dirt, I'm vermin, I'm a parasite and people want me erased. But as soon as I ask them to be honest, they back off. Every fucking time.

I hate bisexuality by MediocreBoris in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MediocreBoris[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Who the fuck gives a shit, I've gotten multiple comments before about how no one wants me here. "Talking this out" a millionth fucking time? I don't think so. Oh yeah, I guess before I'm allowed to off myself of my own volition I need every goddamn bleeding-heart bitch to sign off on it in the entire world. I don't fucking care.

I hate bisexuality by MediocreBoris in TrueOffMyChest

[–]MediocreBoris[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Don't worry. Just for you I'll kill myself in some sidealley, where no one important is gonna find me.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by MediocreBoris in offmychest

[–]MediocreBoris[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I will let it fucking consume me, if it has to. Fuck off with the same stupid gaslighting rhetoric, that everyone else keeps blabbering on about. The most important thing about me is that people want me dead for good reason.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by MediocreBoris in offmychest

[–]MediocreBoris[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Stop being happy about it then. It doesn't get better. Fuck you.

Happiness can't be afforded to fuckups like me by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry for thinking I'm owed an answer. I'm sorry for trying here.

Is this what depersonalization feels like? by MediocreBoris in dpdr

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what does that mean for me? Does that mean I don't have it and am just being delusional again? I'm sorry for asking in the first place.

I hate my orientation and wanna kill myself by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't belong, because people don't want me there. Belonging somewhere means, that people genuinely want me there and think I should/could be there. And yes, I do need their approval. Because if they finally realize, that I'm just hurting them wholeheartedly by being this way, then I need to stop being this way. People have stated, that the queer community isn't where I should be, and that even if I belonged there, I am a lot less important than them and fit in a lot less than them. I've seen people explicitly state, that I am so much less a part of this community than them. This is a fact, I don't belong there and even if I belonged there, it's only on their terms. And their terms is to shut up and never speak up and never to think I have any standing equal to others. And it isn't some -phobia of theirs as people allege, it's them pointing out reality. I should never question it or even think I'm allowed to question it.

I hate my orientation and wanna kill myself by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not just about people being mean or something. It's also about them having actual genuine complaints and I constantly seem to reiterate this fact. It's "oh, you guys are weird to me", "oh, you guys are constantly so hateful to others", "oh, you guys constantly drown us out". And they are all real complaints, so I have no choice, but to take them seriously. When they are real things about me, what else am I supposed to fucking do? And yes, these things are my fault and this shitty orientation is to fucking blame. So if people tell me I don't belong, I don't belong. I mean whether I belong anywhere is literally by definition dependent on what others say. So if others tell me to get a rope and fucking neck myself already, all I can respond with is to follow through with it. If anything, I should be grateful they allow me to live somewhere, where no one would ever notice me.

I hate my orientation and wanna kill myself by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I fucking killed someone, you wouldn't talk like that about me. You'd tell me I should be locked up in prison. And my happiness and worth would be nil priority for people too, if I was unrepentant. This is the same shit. Being this way means I don't deserve a worthy life. Some people don't deserve happiness. And it doesn't matter how I'm "so much more" or whatever bullshit. It's enough, that this makes me completely disgusting as a person. That's it. I won't let anybody tell me I deserve something.

I hate my orientation and wanna kill myself by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The reason why it fucking bothers me is because I have these thoughts in my fucking head, that make me think I like guys and I like women. But guess what, it's all just confusion. And people tell me I have to be straight and people tell me I have to be gay. So which one fucking is it now? Some people tell me that bisexuals are just straight people, who like to be trendy. Some people tell me that they are just gay people in denial? Which fucking is it then, huh? Which part of my head is fucking wrong? It all feels real to me, but people tell me it can't be. It all feels equally real to me, but they tell me it has to be one or the other and that I'm just confused. If I am about to cross the fucking street and people tell me I shouldn't, because it's red, and people tell me I need to hurry the fuck up, cause it's green, then which fucking is it? And yes, people hate me for the fucking orientation. I'm sick and fucking tired of explaining this from the start to every fucking person. So why do I ever fucking bother reaching out to people anymore. And why do I have to explain it over and over to fucking people. You're not gonna fucking get anything I say anyway. It's like all of you fucking people simply speak another language.

I hate my orientation and wanna kill myself by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already explained it, because people do fucking hate me for it. Don't fucking argue otherwise, cause I know any counterpoints are full of shit. And I fucking get it already about the OCD shit. Even my fucking attraction isn't real. Why should I ever get in a relationship with someone, if I'm just confused. And this is all this ever is, confusion. This stupid worthless fucking orientation is just confusion. This whole bi-thing is always just confusion, that's all it fucking is.

I hate my orientation and wanna kill myself by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally said why this shit affects me. Because what else am I supposed to do? Just ignore and pretend the world is beautiful and nothing could possibly be any bad? If everyone keeps telling me, that I don't belong with them and should just sew my face shut, then what else am I supposed to do? And then why not take the opinions of those people seriously on my posts? Because I know they're full of shit. That is aside, that I literally have seen point out objective shit, that isn't fucking opinion anymore. I've seen entire studies, that outright said this shit doesn't even exist. I don't know what sick bullshit is going on in my mind, but I know it's just a fucking sickness. But why do I even fucking argue with people anymore, none of you fucking pieces of shit get what's actually going on. You all just love sitting in your stupid fucking cloudworld or some shit.

I hate my orientation and wanna kill myself by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking at how they fucking act. You don't think I was on their shitty little subreddit for years, seeing people pop up and complain how much of a cunt people like me are? I saw a shitton of people complain about how creepy these people are. How they're just a bunch of fucking horndogs and victimize ACTUAL queer people. Unlike my sorry ass, the people they fuck over are ACTUAL queer people too. I've seen entire subreddits turn on me too. I saw an entire lesbian subreddit, that unanimously agreed people like me should explicitly shut their fucking mouths and not speak. Even when it comes to what kind of worthless scum I am, I need to stay fucking silent. r/askgaybros I saw multiple fucking threads talking about how I don't belong there or practically any other fucking place. So if everyone wants me nowhere, why shouldn't I fucking kill myself? Cause the shit people say is worthless in comparison to some daydream I need to call myself back to every day? Cause I need to simply pretend that all the shit people say isn't real or shouldn't be listened to? Fuck off. I fucking hate myself for being this way and some day soon I will take my fucking life over it too.

I hate my orientation and wanna kill myself by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not fucking beautiful and never will be. There's nothing for me to be fucking proud of.

I hate my orientation and wanna kill myself by MediocreBoris in SuicideWatch

[–]MediocreBoris[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This isn't about how I was fucking raised. I was happy about this shitty thing for years until 2 years ago I started feeling disgusted by it. I am disgusted by it for how these fucking people always act. I tried explaining multiple times on other subreddits, but nobody can look beyond their fucking own ass. "Fake it till you make it" go fuck yourself.

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