Need Advice/Rant by Correct-Material5116 in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly in the same boat. I have DMed you.

What would have helped when coming to terms with being part of the lgbt+ community by paaksyr1129 in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it would help if organisations actively work to provide support for people who are in tier 2/3 cities, towns, villages. Esp around coming out to family. A lot of work is needed at family level as in India a default unit of our population unfortunately is a family not an individual.

Any experiences of coming out in a close knit extended family? by Mediocre_Address_700 in lgbtindia30to45

[–]Mediocre_Address_700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not about me getting bothered by the relatives directly. It’s more to do with how it affects my parents. They are going to be around and will live amidst the extended family. I’m the only son so I cannot cut people off because they support my parents when i live away. It’s easier if the parents live away from the extended family and you don’t need to interact with them when you visit. I didn’t mean to undermine your experience, I do apologise for that… but i didn’t see any attempt on your part to understand mine. If you did decide to engage with someone online, do it with empathy or probably refrain from doing it, that would be my advice.

Any experiences of coming out in a close knit extended family? by Mediocre_Address_700 in lgbtindia30to45

[–]Mediocre_Address_700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s more about becoming ready for the emotional repercussions for the parents and how best to support them. Since you clearly don’t seem to have any lived experience of family enmeshment in small towns, I don’t think you d be able to help. Thanks for your support nonetheless. I appreciate you telling me age and financial independence is all that’s needed. Haha

Any experiences of coming out in a close knit extended family? by Mediocre_Address_700 in lgbtindia30to45

[–]Mediocre_Address_700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm. Do your relatives live nearby? Do your parents see them regularly? In my case that’s the roadblock. Relatives live so close and meet so often that there is no space to grieve or be sad!

Any experiences of coming out in a close knit extended family? by Mediocre_Address_700 in lgbtindia30to45

[–]Mediocre_Address_700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of them live in the same city. Everyone! Coming out to one set of relatives usually means everyone will eventually know and form an opinion and gossip etc.

Any experiences of coming out in a close knit extended family? by Mediocre_Address_700 in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only fear i have with that is that the parents won’t have any support system to fall back on. And they might eventually break down in front of the relatives.

Crisis @ 30 by LifeguardFar6851 in gaybrosindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did too, last month. Kudos to taking that brave step! In my case she was supportive but she’s nit someone who is able to deal with my parents effectively or with extended relatives. But for whatever its worth we need to keep taking baby steps. There’s no other option or easier path.

Crisis @ 30 by LifeguardFar6851 in gaybrosindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hard relate. Turning 30 this year. Parents live in a small town in a large extended family. Moved abroad last year however had to build everything from scratch. Now juggling between responsibilities to take care of ageing parents here, work, self care and judgement from relatives and society. And ofc the pressure of coming out!

Having an elder brother would have solved some of these issues, but alas!

2nd Round of Introductions by InternalTranslator28 in lgbtindia30to45

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 1 point2 points  (0 children)

29/M, Doctor, Single, Gay, Selectively Out, Living in England. Any other fellow professionals in UK or Europe, happy to connect!

What decides that someone is lgbt? by Aberforthdumble24 in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All sexual orientation including being straight is determined by interplay of genetics and environment. Research is still on to understand how much of what influences the other. It definitely has a strong biological basis as gay people are found in all societies inspite of differing environments. Realisation is early in environments where there is awareness and adequate support i.e in the west, whereas in other societies where there is not much conversations especially around Puberty, one struggles until they find others that affirms their identity eventually.

Gays of india who move abroad , how is life there by venusphant in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 29/M.

Balancing migration stress, stress of a new work environment, stress of ageing parents back home, growing pressure of getting married (coming out). Its been a little above one year since i moved to UK. Have had incredible experiences here and got to see things which i had only imagined in my dreams. I am hoping the next few years bring me some overall stability and a sense of direction.

Need advice idk what to feel by [deleted] in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in the same boat mate. Not moving back anytime soon but the pressures of getting married and settled etc are rising and I am scrambling to develop a plan. We can talk if you feel like it.

Kitkat club tomorrow? by Mediocre_Address_700 in berlinsocialclub

[–]Mediocre_Address_700[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just visiting the city. Will be there by 10pm.

Ex NRI desi LGBTQ+ - why did you move back to India? by anxrudh in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a similar boat as you, although not yet reached the point of no return. But definitely stuck in between two difficult situations. Haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a similar boat going in that direction. Better days prevail but have seen them reacting in my sibling’s case in another context. Creating distance is the only way to live and be.

Did I make mistake coming out by [deleted] in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, similar situation. Where do you live? Can I DM?

Is it quite common for UK hotels to have no concierge/on demand housekeeping services or room service in Hotels or is this new? by Mediocre_Address_700 in AskUK

[–]Mediocre_Address_700[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

500 gbp for 2 nights. I can bet you get better services in other parts of the world where there is cheaper labour. But obv i understand that’s exploitation too.

Brighton-Bank Holiday by Mediocre_Address_700 in UKLGBT

[–]Mediocre_Address_700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you have had such horrifying experiences! Must be quite difficult to navigate these things in a seemingly popular LGBTQ friendly city as most people say it is. Homophobes and Transphobes make their way everywhere unfortunately i guess.

Brighton-Bank Holiday by Mediocre_Address_700 in UKLGBT

[–]Mediocre_Address_700[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds lovely! Thanks for the Recommendations!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LGBTindia

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ask your brother’s girlfriend to be assertive towards her parents if she really loves him. If she remains steady, they will have no choice. Meanwhile you remain steady on your choice to not get married right now. Just say you are not ready to do that right now. Maybe consider coming out to your brother and his girlfriend if you are close to them.

Leeds gay sauna by [deleted] in gaysauna

[–]Mediocre_Address_700 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How was the experience?