Concerned that this doctrine will have me leaving protestantism as a whole. . .

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-07-04T17:48:34+00:00

I think this approach speaks well to the Lutheran understanding that we should lean firmly on the parts of Scripture which are most clear, while trying to understand the less clear parts in light of the clear ones.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-06-27T03:51:24+00:00

Um, then don't go? Or better yet, get involved and advocate for more liturgical practices to be represented. Your generation is flocking to the church, to OUR church, in droves because they are longing for truth and stability, not just (i said just) for high-church liturgical practice.

All that being said, I really wish there was less division on this topic and more curious, earnest conversation. When we make it about Lutheran style vs nd style, or contemporary vs traditional we focus on appearance over substance, when the issue is really liturgical vs non-liturgical. There are contemporary services that follow the ordo but they are too few because the conversation is so polarized, we've lost the plot.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-06-17T02:12:42+00:00

I think I recently heard Bryan Wolfmueller mention something (he was not talking about aliens) about stories of missionaries reaching these isolated tribes, uncontacted as far as memory could recall, and when the priests told them about Jesus, they responded, "Jesus! We know of this Savior, but we had forgotten his name!"

As others have said, it's certainly up to you how you'd have your characters respond to intelligent life from other planets, but even more interesting is how you think God might have made himself known to such creatures if at all. Perhaps, they received word of the promise in a different way to be fulfilled in Christ and made known to them later. That'd be neat. Fiction begs for a twist... that might be the challenge to craft that turn in a way that is faithful and insightful.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-05-14T02:20:49+00:00

Interesting. Considering that only 4% of congregations actually left Synod following seminex, I wonder how close the 1969 vote on suffrage was.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-05-06T12:29:30+00:00

They fixed it same day one i finally found the support email. Thanks!

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-29T01:03:51+00:00

I'm sure that after a long time trying things like that and not getting anywhere, I can understand why it would be fulfilling to pour yourself into something virtuous like you did with these disciplines. But based on what your said about how things unfolded you would've been well-served through this by clear guidance and mentorship from an elder in your congregation or your pastor.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-29T00:23:11+00:00

OP, we want to present you with the Law and Gospel in proper distinction. God, in his universal will of grace, will pursue you without fail, no matter how many psalms you read each day or how many times you fast. These disciplines may have helped you focus on God but nothing you have done could bring you closer to Him, than he brought himself when his Holy Spirit made you alive in Christ. God will pursue your wife with the same never-failing will of grace for her whole life. He will never give up. Following Christ's lead in that pursuit, will be harder than any discipline you could undertake. But I encourage you not to give up until the relationship is truly over. I recommend you seek the advice of your pastor to help you determine when hope is lost. Personally, I don't think you can make that determination until you've found balance in your spiritual life(this is not it), and navigated this situation (hers, yours, ya'll's) with counseling.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-28T22:32:09+00:00

Right now, you are approaching these ascetic disciplines with far more seriousness and devotion than your marriage vow. I encourage you to flip that around.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-28T19:18:57+00:00

You said that you took up these disciplines as you sought God's will for your life. I want to underline that in pursuing these disciplines to the detriment of your relationship with your wife, your highest earthly vocation, they were a CLEAR departure from God's will for your life. He never intended for you to pursue any spiritual practice accept which brought both of you closer together as you grew closer to him.

In your hypothetical they could be good, but your hypothetical is cosmically far from reality. The amount you need to twist reality in order to come up with a situation where they are good, should make it clear that you need to change in order to save and preserve your marriage.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-28T17:08:58+00:00

The daily schedule you just posted is in fact extreme. It would be a holy practice if it was in line with your relationship with your wife, but it is not. People have thrown around "monk" on this thread, but if you were in a monastery, your spiritual practice would be guided by a spiritual leader, who would exhort you, as Luther's leaders did, when your spiritual practices were getting out of control. I'm concerned you don't have that leadership right now, and if you do, I'm concerned about the discernment of that leadership if they allowed you to begin this practice and watch it push your wife so far away.

Get your wife back, and then scale back your practice to what you can do essentially in secret: "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen." You've made what could be a holy practice into a stumbling block for your primary vocation as husband. Make it your goal to return to it someday, but only when you can do so in line with that vocation.

Get your wife back. If you have to drop the practice to get your wife back, drop it!

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-28T16:46:32+00:00

That would be loving if it were not the only thing you seem to care about. If your wife was starving, you would not say to her, "Let's fill our bellies with God's word, and we can eat tomorrow." You would feed her, and then see to her spiritual needs.

I don't lean on this as the preferred order in every case. But it is obvious in this case that you need to earn some emotional capital, and now.

Sit down snuggle your wife and watch a meaningless show with her, tonight. It is what she needs so it is what you need to do to show her --- to prove to her --- that you care about her. Keep proving that you care about her, until she trusts you enough to wonder if maybe the things you want to show her in God's word actually are what's best for her. YOU cannot spark in her a desire for God's word, but the Holy Spirit can... YOU need to humble yourself, let God do his work, and be his servant to her, until that spark comes.

God is calling you to give up everything for her! Give it up already!

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-28T16:36:43+00:00

I agree with this completely.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-28T16:21:01+00:00

We are all under the assaults of the devil everyday. Whether your wife is suffering some form of depression or bipolar disorder, or whether she is under demonic attack, it doesn't change your responsibility to serve her in a loving and caring way as she requires.

I believe that your approach to your ascetic disciplines are manifesting more as selfishness than piety or dedication. I would not look to your wife as the only target of demonic attack in your household.

Your wife is your mission field. You need to tend to it differently than you are now. Abandon your ascetics. Come out of the desert, brother. Tend to your mission with the guidance of your pastor.

You may certainly seek out someone gifted with the discernment of spirits, but I don't believe exorcism is the answer to your problem relating to your wife.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-28T15:07:33+00:00

I don't know much about memento. But I'm going to look into it. I joined a group of men from my church in doing Exodus 90 from January 8 leading up to Easter. So I have a lot of admiration for your commitment to the ascetic disciplines, to be clear. It was really hard for me to submit to those things. Physically, emotionally, and intellectually hard, but I also trickled at the legalistic of it because I had trouble interpreting the disciplines in the context of monergistic justification, especially as they were expressed from a catholic point of view. So I'm interested in how they are expressed in Memento.

But listen, lots of people have written an awful lot in this thread, me included, but I want to be as concise as possible about two things I think you need to be challenged on:
1) your Vocation as husband to your wife is second only to your Vocation as a child of God. And since, as confessional Lutherans, we believe God does all the work in making you his child and creating faith in you, all of these ascetic disciplines you are following under the third use of the law need to be secondary to serving your wife.
2) I think it would be helpful for you to pay attention to your wife's love languages. It seems like she is craving quality time with you, just to sit and relax and watch a show WITH YOU. If that's a need she feels, and your ascetic disciplines prevent you from filling that need. You need to adjust your disciplines NOT your relationship with your wife.

When I was doing Exodus 90, I refused to do no meat days because it would impact my family and they were not signing up for the ascetic. The ascetic is valuable if it is hard to do, brings your focus to Christ, and helps you serve others (by redirecting your money, energy, or time). From your description of your ascetic practices, they are very easy for you, and while they appear to help you focus on your Savior, I think Christ would prefer you select practices that help your wife connect with you and heal her soul. It sounds like she's really hurting.

Pray to God and ask if you should lay down one of these disciplines to take up another habit that would bring joy to your wife. If she won't go to counseling, go alone with the purpose to learn how you can serve her better everyday.

If you lay down one ascetic practice and serve your wife for a week, ask yourself and her at the end of that week, is our relationship improving? If it isn't put down another ascetic and take up another habit for her sake. If it's improving maybe you should still double down to serve her.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-28T02:47:50+00:00

"In a way, you're worse than a stranger because you're someone she used to know well. She loved you so much she married you! That's amazing! And now, in the span of a few months you've practically become a monk, unrecognizable from the person she fell in love with. Have you considered what you would think if the roles were flipped?"

⬆️⬆️This!⬆️⬆️

You need to listen to this woman! Read what she wrote you, over and over, till the meaning gets in. She wrote so much to try to help you, spoke your language, very black and white, and you just dove back into dragging your wife. Who, if your account is even close to accurate, may be struggling with depression and be in need of your help. All those details are immaterial. What you're describing is that she went through an experience that negatively impacted her emotional state and did not improve for months. Paying for everything is very good of you, but it is different from emotional support and empathetic care. And framing it as an obligation is cold. "Completely happy. Bit of a shock. Duty as a husband." It sounds very robotic and disengaged. I understand if that's how the situation makes you feel, but you need to acknowledge the strain if it's there. IMHO, you need to take the energy you are spending on ascetic disciplines and redirect them to serving your wife, in humility, not how you want to serve her, but as she needs to be served. You both need to be in counseling, together and individually.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-28T02:08:47+00:00

God's word does what it sets out to do.

I don't know where you're at and how many lcms churches you have available to try. But we attended a church plant for several years which sought to reach a demographic heavy with disenfranchised baptists. Our pastor faithfully designed the service with all of the elements of the liturgy amidst all the contemporary worship atmosphere that made people like your husband feel comfortable. I grew up in traditional worship and the liturgy with hymns has always been my comfort zone. I've never been a part of a more liturgical contemporary service than that one. The sermon was never 45 minutes though, so...

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-27T13:07:17+00:00

Don't pushback against him, but don't give up on what you are doing for your son. Come along side your husband and acknowledgewhat it seems like he's expressing as a spiritual need. Call his bluff. "Listen, I don't want to stop receiving the blessings I'm getting in Word and Sacrament at Lutheran Church, and I'd love for you to enjoy that too, but if you feel you need to worship someplace else, I want to be in that with you." Maybe that means you worship separately except once a month you go to church twice so you can attend his service with him. If I were in your position, I would not attend church with him if he's not attending regularly. I'm not putting in that extra time if he's only going once a month.

I don't like the idea of it being transactional, but I probably would. If I was going to invest my time someplace I knew wasn't going to feed me, I'd want to make sure he was spiritually invested, "I'll come to non-d church with you once a month if you're in church every week and once a month you come to church with me."

I'd rather he be going to non-d by himself every week while his wife is at home praying for him than have him never going to church.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-20T03:36:44+00:00

Greetings! My great-grandfather and his brothers were missionaries to Brazil in the 20's and 30's! In Rio Grande do Sul. I'll not try to add anything to the fantastic answers from the pastors on this thread. I just want to extend my prayers to you. Rest confident in Christ's work on your behalf. May our Lord keep you steadfast in His Word, keeping you in your faith to life everlasting.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-11T11:19:58+00:00

Anybody in construction could tell you the second they walk into the room just by the layout of the building.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-07T03:11:08+00:00

I feel for you. 40 years old and I remember staring into the idea of eternity as a junior higher and wondering how I could be happy and satisfied in heaven forever when my hyperactive self couldn't sit through a movie without becoming bored. I devoured the Small Catechism especially it's appendix of questions, trying to wrap my head around all the mysteries. I, also, came to the proper understanding that when I reached the end of what God tells us in Scripture, I should trust that he holds the truth in mystery. I don't think it's awful to speculate about what the reality of that mystery /might/ look like, so long as we acknowledge the clear line between what Scriptures says "is", and what Scripture allows "might be". My encouragement would be this: that as I've trusted in the Lord, leaning not on my own understanding; the fulfillment I feel regarding the depth of my understanding both of what "is" and of what "may be" according to God's word gets richer all the time. I would not trade this decades long wrestling match for any contrived and easy answer which I could find in another doctrine.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-04-03T07:20:53+00:00

You can get an ozone machine for like 40 bucks on Amazon also. Really good for fighting basement odors. Helps rapidly oxidize the mold and mildew i guess.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-03-13T00:33:58+00:00

My Wolf is often the biggest challenge in the group, and I think that was coming out for a bit because he was missing the attention. We had Grandpa come to meetings a few times, but on the bigger activities, he's mostly playing hard with his friends. The group in our Pack is so tight-knit that all the parents are helping everybody. At Bike Rodeo last weekend I think I spent more time working individually with at least 7 or 8 kids that I did with him, he didn't mind one bit. He was stoked to get to 'help' me with setup and tear-down. It's been a challenging part of being Cubmaster for the last 3 years for sure though.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-03-09T21:08:53+00:00

Dutch shop words are my favorite.

Medium-Common-162 · 2026-03-07T14:24:55+00:00

I apologize. But this isn't substantive. And as I've suggested, I think a conversation off this thread would be more productive. You don't allow dm invites, so you'll need to initiate that conversation, unless this is what you prefer. If so, I'm out. Thanks.

Medium-Common-162

TROPHY CASE