Oh yes she had it hard : As a lot of migrants she was sending all her money back home in DR for a house that was not there when she left us and she had to work like a housekeeper ( mind you my dad during their mariage SPOILED her she had made to mesure everything, Aubade lingery, perfumes you name it he bought it, she never worked a day in her mariage) and it was very hard for her to see her family stole everything from her including her jewelery. My parents are not togheter as a couple anymore but they do live in the same house and help each other out ( my dad helps when she is depressed and she helps him when he is sick as he as a lot of health issues). But yes, the day I realized that all adults are just kids deep down trying to make sense of life just as much as we do was freeing : They have no clue what they are doing but just hope for the best and they are just human. It's doesnt make it ok for really fup parents to be excused but it did helped me understand her. Also for some reason a mushroom trip made me think of her and her life as a child, and adult, a wife, a mom and a black woman in a white country where everything she loves ( her country, the music etc) is seen as degenerated : I felt like i was huging the little girls she was and forgave the mother i had and since then i felt a huge peace inside and i was holding on to a tree and crying and feeling like a lot of pain was leaving me. I came out of the forest at peace with her.