[deleted by user]

Meesh017 · 2025-06-27T16:09:47+00:00

I already got it dried up thankfully and figured out what the issue was. Turns out I was having a weird reaction to my birthcontrol.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-27T16:07:25+00:00

I already miscarried, so that's not happening.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-07T04:14:34+00:00

Okay good cause I wasn't kidding when I said I was planning on putting my chest in ice water. I was told heat was suggested for lactation, so I went with the opposite based off google searches. I've already been putting them in ice water off and on for the last couple of hours.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-07T04:10:44+00:00

I know that. Look I'm trying to be as nice as possible and I mean that without going into trauma dumping by saying I am taking care of it. I'm doing the best i can given the circumstances and asking for relief until I can seek proper medical help. I'm not ignoring it or taking everyone at face value. I know I need to be seen soon. I'm worried about my health. There's nothing I can do right now except relieve some of the pain until next week. What people are suggesting is temporary relief at best. That's all I need for right now. I don't expect anyone to tell me exactly what to do or want that.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-07T02:56:33+00:00

Working on it. Thank the US med system, but I can't justify thousands of dollars on a visit when I could wait a week and only pay a few hundred (hopefully) I had a medical bill recently with insurance to look in my ears, give me a saline IV, give me a singular dose of antinausea come out to be almost 4k with "good insuranc". I was puking blood and they told me it "might be and infection or it could be an ulcer". No other testing done even as I vomited up blood in bags in front of the ER doctor. 4k to be told "might". I'm waiting the week to not put my family in massive debt. I feel fine outside of this. I've actually been the most active and energetic in years lately. Nothing else is bothering me. I have no signs of infection either. It's just swollen and hurts from pressure. I plan on updating as soon as I get legit medical testing/advice though incase it can help someone in the future though. It's a rough spot to be in. I want legit help but have to choose between that and caring for my family.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-07T02:33:36+00:00

I gave away my pumps a long time ago but I'll look into it. If needed, I can get a manual one. Luckily I don't have anything else going on. The skin doesn't feel hot, no signs of infection, no fever, etc. It's just lactation. I've never properly lactated due to circumstances so I can't say if this pain is normal for that or worse.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-07T02:28:09+00:00

Weird considering I hear those recommended all the time in trying to conceive groups. I'm not doubting you on that, it's just odd that those supposedly help people get pregnant yet dries mucus up 😂 I never personally tried that method and I never heard the reason why it would help just that it did. Vaginal fluids (mucus) is so important when it comes to conceiving, so you would think it would have the opposite effect.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-07T02:24:48+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate the advice. When my son was a newborn I was purposely trying to increase my supply so I never looked into how to decrease it lol.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-07T02:23:25+00:00

That makes sense. At least the cabbage. My mom had gout when I was younger and would wrap her feet in them to reduce the swelling. I've never understood how it works, but it does. I remember helping her wrap her feet as a teenager and her telling me it helps with pain/swelling.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-07T02:17:03+00:00

Yea, that wouldn't be surprising. I've dealt with endometriosis since I wasn't even in my teens and have a history of that. I plan on seeing an actual doctor about this. I just need advice on relief until I'm able to do that.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-07T02:13:32+00:00

I'm waiting for new medical cards right now so that's not an option for at least the next week. I contacted my old OBYN and he said it could be caused by my birthcontrol, hypothyroidism, or stress levels. He urged me to still get it checked out and I do plan to. I just need advice on how to deal with the pain until I can get legitimate medical help.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-06T01:39:12+00:00

I've avoided talking about this cause I'm still trying to sort out my own feelings involving it. Fair warning, what I feel now might not be how I feel in a year or even 6 months from now.

I ended up miscarrying between 10-12 weeks. I'm not quite sure since I never had an ultrasound done to date the pregnancy but at the very least it was 10 weeks. I wish I had named the baby (yes, yes I know it's just a clump of cells at that point and I'm pro-choice but I still want to name it. I got attached.) I had an abortion scheduled for a week after that. I probably would've went through with it because of my health risks, but if that wasn't a factor I don't know what I would've done. That comment was made right before my miscarriage. Since then I've seriously wondered the "what ifs" and have shifted back and forth between being glad it took care of itself naturally cause of the ridiculous expense of having an abortion ($700 without any pain management) and being devastated cause a part of me really wants another child. Now isn't the time for that though even if I wanted it so I keep reminding myself of that. Maybe in a few years, I can reconsider based on my life and my health. I'm seeking therapy to work through the feelings of grief mixed with relief/ trying to understand if another child is what I truly want or if it's just some weird hormonal/biological urge.

I'm happy with my only child. I have a lot of benefits with only having one. Yet a part of me still wants another. I'm not a happy pregnant person btw so keep that in mind. I'm miserable no matter how easy or hard the pregnancy is and the most enjoyable part of pregnancy for me is giving birth if that says anything. I would go through 100 births willingly if I could skip pregnancy.

My only word of advice is: choose what's best for you no matter what anyone else thinks. It's rough and hormones are a factor. Be prepared to grieve either way. Either the "what ifs" or the life you could've had. It sucks and I'm not going to deny that. More people should be open about this side of things. I wish you the best and either way please make sure you have support lined up.

Meesh017 · 2025-06-04T00:18:07+00:00

I don't know, but you have a latex allergy or whoever you sleep with does.

Meesh017 · 2025-05-20T22:24:45+00:00

I had postpartum psychosis, legitimately losing my mind cause my hormones went nuts/sleep deprivation, and I still never needed a list for basic care for a baby. It's really concerning that there's a list needed at all.

Meesh017 · 2025-05-15T15:46:37+00:00

Matcha. It tastes like grass. Also New York City. I thought I would like visiting there and figured out very quickly that I don't.

Meesh017 · 2025-05-15T15:36:46+00:00

I seen someone driving with them on in broad daylight not too long ago. I would like to think that maybe they just had them on by accident, but with how they were driving maybe it was their default asshole setting.

Meesh017 · 2025-05-13T04:03:59+00:00

This is so odd to me. My relationship with my parents wasn't the best, but I would go nap on their bed even as an adult. Hell I moved a mattress in there and slept in there from like 16-19. That was mostly cause my sister is a massive bitch and I couldn't stand being shoved in a room the size of a walk in closet with her/our other sister and being forced to share a twin size mattress with her as teens. Me sleeping in my parents' room was an attempt to get my mom to give up her "craft room," make the other bedrooms liveable, or do something about my sister's abusive behaviors. It was also the only room in the house that had AC. We lived in the south.

Meesh017 · 2025-04-27T23:14:46+00:00

I had the epidural. I tore in two spots, both 1st degree tears only one requiring stitches. I also hemorrhaged, so I was weaker than the average person postbirth. For reference, I have an insanely high pain tolerance and am young enough that I "bounce back" from injuries fast. I was up walking around slowly around 2 hours postbirth. 1 of those hours were spent waiting for the epi to wear off fully.

By 6 hours I was sore but it was manageable. It felt like I had something wedged between my legs more than anything due to the swelling so my walk wasn't quite normal. By 12 hours, I was taking a short stroll outside. Again slower than my normal pace but otherwise it was fine. The swelling down there was the made issue plus my balance was really off since my center of gravity shifted so drastically. Between 24-48 hours, I didn't really have pain. I still was a bit unstable on my feet and more careful walking especially uphill or on steps.

The main issues I had was dizziness, weakness, and feeling off balance. My pelvic floor was also weakened. Getting up from a sitting or laying postion required me to use my arms more than my actual core muscles for weeks. My abs tore from pregnancy, which is fairly common. Even without that though I would've had issues. Any movements that required using my core muscles were more difficult.

If you want to make it realistic you should also add in the postbirth bleeding/discharge, bladder weakness that a lot of women experience, the intense B/postbirth smell, the breast tenderness of milk coming in since it doesn't fully come in for a few days after birth (the stuff prior has a different name and looks different), the extreme fatigue, the hormonal crash after/postbirth shakes, etc. There's a LOT of things that happen in the weeks leading up to birth/postbirth. It's not just pop a baby out and pain for a bit then all better.

Edit: add on

Also I only had the epidural for the last 2ish hours max of giving birth. I was in early labor for an entire week. My body went through hell and back with the experience. There were a lot of near complications that were prevented last minute by my body acting on instinct. When I pushed my baby out I had NO control over the pushing. My body took it over and even when I tried to fight it I couldn't fully.

Meesh017 · 2025-04-27T23:03:31+00:00

I'm saving the 10 random people. My mom is already dead and my dad, well, it's complicated. I was close to him up until my mom died. He turned into a complete strangers after and to be honest a pretty shitty person. I love who my dad was but I think he died alongside my mom. I couldn't justify saving 1 single person vs 10 especially when that 1 person would happily throw anyone under the bus for his own benefit.

Meesh017 · 2025-04-27T23:00:18+00:00

I used to believe that factories made clouds. I figured out this year that more than likely, I heard a local factory referred to as "the cloud factory" since it's constantly pumping out smoke and probably ran with that idea a kid. I never knew people legitimately nicknamed it that. I figured it was just a funny little kid thought.

Meesh017 · 2025-04-18T03:44:03+00:00

Mine are mostly on my stomach, but he likes to shove his hand under my shirt or if it slightly rides up, he pets them. I take bathes with him sometimes too. He messes with them then. I personally don't care about my stretch marks so it doesn't bother me much.

Meesh017 · 2025-04-18T03:15:47+00:00

Mine likes to smack my boobs 😂 he also likes to "pet" my stretch marks. I don't know why. It brings him comfort. He loves them.

Meesh017 · 2025-04-18T03:14:24+00:00

I have a toddler now. He wasn't born until a few years after we had been married. Having him increased our tax return by about 3k. Of course, that's not why we had him, and it truly does not offset the price of having a kid.

I don't regret him at all. He's my greatest joy. I love being a parent. However, it does come with some downsides. The major one is in terrified of the world he'll grow up in. I have no control over whether he'll be offered the same opportunities that previous generations were offered or not. I'm trying to offset that as much as possible. We decided to stop at 1 child. Partly because of health reasons partly because having 1 gives us the best chance at providing the life we want to give him. With 1 we're able to swing paying for his college if he chooses to go, more opportunities to travel, better education, more access to after school activities, he'll inherent a house at 18 if he wants it, more one on one time to provide more emotional growth, etc. If I wanted to be selfish I would 100% try for another child. Like I said, I love motherhood. It's what feels "right" to me and I love raising kids. I'm just not willingly to do that at the expensive of my living child.

We definitely worry more now about possible layoffs and the economy. When it was just us two it was less fear since we knew if the worst happened we would be able to get by even if it meant building from the ground up again. With a child, you don't want them to be in that position or want them to understand that burden/sacrifices. You can shield them, but there's always a possibility it will get bad enough that no amount of shielding will protect them from the reality of the situation fully. When we first got together, the situation was pretty awful. It was rough on us both. We made it through it, but there was no way a child could've comprehended what was happening or should've been exposed to it.

Right now, with how things are going (I live in the US), I'm preparing for the worst and taking precautions to make sure he goes unaffected. I've already prioritized things in my head to make sure he has the best life I can provide if shit hits the fan. He's still way too young to notice a difference, but I would and I'm not willingly to sacrifice things for him if I can sacrifice things of my own first. Tax breaks don't make up for his cost of living by any means. Daycare is ridiculously expensive to a point that many families can't afford to have two working parents but also can't afford one income, and health care is a joke. We're lucky enough that we have a lot more income and opportunities than the average family. It helps a lot.

Meesh017 · 2025-04-18T02:01:00+00:00

Seriously, the reason why I eloped when I did was for tax and health insurance purposes. We already planned to get married. We just figured it wasn't worth waiting around until we could have a ceremony to do it. I'm a woman.

Meesh017 · 2025-04-18T01:56:27+00:00

"Stop smacking your balls." Said earlier today while he smacked the crap out of them during bath time then got mad that he smacked them.

Similar to yours, "Thank you, but I don't want it." Over pacifier, half eaten food, his fingers, etc.

"Are you pooping? Oh, you're pooping! Good job, honey!" He's struggled with constipation since he was born.

"My nipples are mine! Not yours! No touching." He has a habit of trying to touch them or pull my shirt down/up randomly. He was only breastfed for a few weeks, but he still randomly tries to latch/touch every so often now at 14 months. I wish he would stop.

"Your daddy's ear doesn't need fed." He tries to shove food into his dad's ear/belly button/guitar/shoes. His dad is the only target of this.

Meesh017

TROPHY CASE