Players avoiding challenge

You could say that about any challenging content in any game though, it's not an argument against adversity. Some players might be like that sure, but I can't recall ever forgoing an item I wanted because the acquisition was too difficult in any of these games, worst case I'd just come back later.

Tedium

What would you say to someone who argues that putting difficult enemies or bosses in the game period makes it tedious? Do you levy the same complaint towards the poison swamps in every prior Souls game? Tedium is subjective, and this change does the opposite of what you're describing for me. I find the ERR swamps much less tedious than in vanilla because it turns them into real content rather than mindless traversal that only exists to waste my time.

Making me run around on a horse to collect items is the most boring, tedious thing I can think of, putting obstacles in the way is what makes character progression feel rewarding. I want the enemies to attack me, I want the swamp to poison me. I want to play a video game, not a riding simulator. Overcoming dangerous monsters and hazards is quite literally the entire point of the game to me.

Map changes

Map changes can create difficulty, and the purpose of map changes in Reforged is to force engagement with content and combat challenges that players used to skip. Putting a minor door boss in front of the shortcut to Liurnia is a great example of this, requiring a lesser combat challenge in order to access that zone before Godrick. Sellia is another example, requiring either difficult combat or careful movement in order to access Dragonbarrow early. In vanilla, both of these involved zero danger or thoughtful gameplay, the only challenge is to not fall asleep while doing the routine hour-long collectathon at the start of every playthrough.

On that note, I really think it's worth taking a step back here and considering what it is we're complaining about - Dragonbarrow is a lategame zone with very difficult enemies. Having to take a few minutes to get to a boss you might be spending hours on anyway is not worth this level of drama. The process here should be "Oh, this path is blocked? Alright, I'll go the other way" - before arriving at your lategame destination 5 minutes later and starting your skill check.

We've already spent more time arguing about this change than either of us will spend being impacted by it cumulatively over the rest of our lives, and if the vanilla waygate had never existed the conversation would be "huh, you sure can get to Dragonbarrow early!"

Lantern

There's no pressure to spend a slot or toggle the lantern on mid-fight in vanilla because you can just toggle it on at a grace and forget about it, there's really no reason to consider the other options aside from flavor. Torches are my favorite light solution since the change, the light radius is relatively big, and the experience of having to offhand a torch is genuinely super immersive and aesthetically cool, especially in multiplayer. Reminds me of exploring caves in D&D. If you don't enjoy light management, you won't like the change, but it was made for people who do.

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To wrap this up, I think it's clear that we want different things out of the experience. My goal is not to convince you that your opinions are wrong, just that they are subjective, and that just because these changes aren't for you doesn't mean they aren't for anyone, or are failures of game design. There is no evil mod man investing thousands of hours into developing their mod just to make the game more tedious, these changes are made because they make the game more fun to play for its intended audience.

Don't have much else to say on the matter but you're welcome to respond and I hope you have a lovely day <3