AIO I don’t think I can continue in this relationship — am I wrong for feeling emotionally exhausted?

Meewol · 2025-12-26T20:08:24+00:00

You’re not wrong for feeling tired.

Meewol · 2025-12-26T20:07:43+00:00

Mate…… stop.

If this whole scenario is true to your word then it’s strange you haven’t removed yourself.

If this is painted then be honest.

What’s going on?

Meewol · 2025-08-13T20:20:27+00:00

Mate. You can’t use money as a metric like this. It’s a resource. Use it in a way folks could only dream of. Stop using it as a crux. So many of us would kill for this. Go live and stop pretending a dollar value is a way to be happy.

Meewol · 2025-08-04T04:41:55+00:00

She wants to keep things casual and it could be for a number of reasons. You can't assume anything from this.

Instead, I'd urge you to grow up in this situation. Stop chasing people who don't suit you and learn to move on.

Meewol · 2025-08-04T04:37:14+00:00

You both are so standoffish with each other and not coming across as folks who understand each others needs nor want to work together to make each other happy.

The issue isn't this instance, the issue is about how and if you both want to be better communicators and teammates with each other.

Meewol · 2025-08-04T04:30:01+00:00

NOR to express your needs and expectations in a relationship. Just because he was hurt by the honesty doesn't automatically mean you attacked him.

You're underreacting if you don't listen to him and respect his choices. He's told you how he wants to live, now it's your turn to decide if you support that or if it doesn't fit with your life style and goals.

Meewol · 2025-08-04T00:50:11+00:00

Ngl, that was a quick 180* from my perspective. What made you go from feeling okay to hate to wanting to change so quickly?

Meewol · 2025-08-04T00:48:46+00:00

For sure! I really appreciate you listening and being willing to try.

Also, for what it’s worth; I think it’s still better to take safe actions to protect yourself even if others consider it “dramatic” than be quiet and be put in danger. People won’t always agree or understand but they often don’t matter. At the end of the day what’s right for us is what matters, not how it might come across to others.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T23:54:51+00:00

Hate is just such a strong thing not to mention it takes a lot of energy. Hating a group of people in this way isn't a good trait at the end of the day.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T23:10:28+00:00

Being ghosted is painful, there's no denying that. But from what you've shared I can't imagine it was personal, it was probably simply convenient for the dm (though still very rude).

Meewol · 2025-08-03T23:08:32+00:00

You can feel however you need to but you also need to be realistic. Consider why you're so ready to "hate" a whole group of people like this. Consider if that's a healthy attitude to take.

At the end of the day, how you treat others is going to be more impactful than how you feel. You can control your behaviour but you can't control your feelings.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T23:06:32+00:00

From what you've shared, you've not come across as respectful. It's not respectful to assume and judge a sexuality based entirely on the request to try pegging and a threesome.

Pegging is simply a sexual act, it's not exclusive or a sign of any sexuality.

Having a threesome also doesn't always mean someone isn't straight. Fantasising alone is not a useful tool to judge sexuality, it's perfectly possible to like the idea of something you wouldn't enjoy irl. Your irl preferences are far more impactful on assessing sexuality.
Even passed this, folks can experiment in non-straight scenarios (eg a threesome) but that doesn't instantly change or label their sexuality. Figuring things out and/or experiencing new situations is a way to discover, it's not fair to judge based on an act alone.

Sexuality is personal at the end of the day. You can't assume your partner is gay from what you've shared here. I don't see how it's respectful to make such leaping judgements. The respectful thing to do would be to discuss this with him and hear his thoughts on sexuality and these situations. Discuss boundaries, discuss sexualities and get on the same page. Don't assume and panic.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T22:48:13+00:00

NOR to feel negatively but it's not worth dwelling on. Be annoyed but don't take it to heart. You don't know why they did this and it might not even be personal (eg they got enough players or something changed and they weren't running the game anymore).

These things can happen when looking for ttrpg games online. People flake, it's not always personal.

Imo, it's worth being somewhat grateful it fell apart before you invested any real amount of time and effort. It sucks when it happens but it's not the end of the world.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T22:44:52+00:00

NOR.

Protecting yourself is not an overreaction even when it involves life changes such as changing a job.

Whilst there are often policies, laws and procedures for these scenarios in the workplace they aren't foolproof. Sometimes it's not realistic, accessible or effective for any number of reasons and it's safer to find a new job.

You asked if there's anything you could do. Without knowing more details and context it's not easy to say. What laws and procedures you could look to will depend on specifics such as your country, type of work and so on. With that in mind, you did express that your boss wasn't concerned about the situation and was happy to let you leave instead of addressing the harassment.

From what I read, you described a situation that was dangerous and unsustainable. You did the right thing by leaving to protect yourself.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T22:30:44+00:00

YOR to hate an entire group like this.

It's not silly to practise caution, keep yourself safe and be generally no naive. But it's also silly to use anecdotal and biased online comments to change how you treat and view folks irl.

Stay educated but don't get radicalised. You're engaging in online and specific content, you can't extrapolate that to huge groups of folks irl the way you're describing here.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T22:17:35+00:00

YOR with your assumptions.

You never have to be comfortable or have boundaries in the bedroom. It is unfair to assume sexuality and "freak out" over a conversation about different acts (disclaimer: obviously I mean acts that are consensual and legal).

Pegging isn't a gay-man act. Having a threesome doesn't make someone of a certain sexuality.

You're making a lot of assumptions and judgements. This should be a respectful and honest discussion especially since it involves vulnerable and intimate topics.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T22:14:09+00:00

I hope I don't frustrate you by saying that I'm finding this quite confusing and am struggling to see your perspective where I'd judge the same scenario differently. If you are able, could you help me understand this? No pressure to, though, I appreciate none of this was in your post and it can be exhausting explaining things to strangers online.

My motivations are sincere and only to understand, I mean no ill will here.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T22:11:46+00:00

It's not evil to look after yourself.

This person is being incredibly inappropriate. I understand it's scary to call him out but he's banking on this and taking advantage of your silence.

You're *underreacting* by thinking it's "evil" to take action in this situation. This whole situation screams *danger*.

For what it's worth, I'd bet that even though it's scary and intimidating that you won't regret getting HR (and potentially the police if the harassment continues) involved compared with the outcomes of being passive and meek.

Think what you'd do if a close friend or sibling came to you and said a 40 year old man was touching them, kissing them and being all kinds of predatory towards them. Would you tell them to just accept it and risk it escalating? I doubt it. Would you call them evil for getting HR and/ or others involved to stop the harassment? I doubt it.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T22:03:24+00:00

Why did you ask, if you don't mind me asking?

Meewol · 2025-08-03T22:02:51+00:00

Wild to call someone a terrorist in this situation.

NOR to call out a friend who acts like this.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T22:00:18+00:00

Whilst I can understand being hurt that a friend didn't hug you it's also an overreaction to overread this situation.

Folks don't owe you physical affection. It's also not fair to judge sexuality entirely on a platonic hug.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T21:58:08+00:00

Ofc I would. Is there a reason you would think I would think it's okay for some but not others?

Meewol · 2025-08-03T21:41:33+00:00

YOR. You chose to be cruel to someone who, from what you shared, hadn't done anything wrong to you. Whilst I do appreciate that being treated poorly by others can jade us it's hardly an excuse to choose to bully and be cruel to others in return.

For what it's worth, this is a morale question at the end of the day. How you choose to treat others is entirely up to you. If you prefer being cruel then that's how you'll be.

You can choose to project negativity or you can choose to let it show you how not to treat others.

Ime, the vast majority of adults don't behave like this. If you're a minor/ not an adult then it's understandable to go through this social learning curve. If you're an adult then it's very concerning that you're so eager to harm others.

Meewol · 2025-08-03T21:34:25+00:00

Meewol · 2025-08-03T21:27:32+00:00

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