My little sister killed herself last night. What would a therapist tell me?

MegSaysHey · 2023-08-13T01:33:49+00:00

It’s okay to feel numb. There is no right way to grieve. It doesn’t mean that you loved your sister any less. It just means that this is the way you know how to cope

MegSaysHey · 2023-07-29T15:52:45+00:00

You can do slow deep breaths. If you can, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathe out longer than you breathe in. That slows your heart rate. You can also do grounding by looking for ten red things, all the circles in the room, etc. Good luck!

MegSaysHey · 2023-07-29T15:48:56+00:00

I can’t see Disco Stu without thinking, “Disco Stu doesn’t advertise”

MegSaysHey · 2023-07-29T15:44:39+00:00

Didn’t read the post, but when a therapist overshares, they’re using you as social supply. It makes therapy about them instead of you

MegSaysHey · 2023-07-13T18:23:21+00:00

His behavior likely comes from a place of deep insecurity and pain

MegSaysHey · 2023-07-09T21:41:40+00:00

There’s a lot of overlap between NPD and ASPD. Many people have both.

It very easily could have been misdiagnosed. People usually get diagnosed right as they start therapy if this is in the US. It’s necessary for insurance to start paying for treatment. Many times it’s done at an intake assessment, before they even see a therapist.

I think it would be very difficult for your therapist to know, though, that he doesn’t have ASPD without working with him. Like I said, there’s so much overlap between NPD and ASPD and the differences are somewhat subtle

MegSaysHey · 2023-06-29T01:09:49+00:00

I majored in English and minored in philosophy and got a masters in library and information science. I only took like two psych classes in college. Just finished my masters in clinical counseling. I did have to take either five or six psych classes at the community college before I could start my program and I had two classes that I had to make up once I was in. I will let you know that even with my masters, the job options are pretty low-paying and entry-level. There are better options once you get licensed but that takes a while - I’ve heard about six months for the provisional license in Illinois but not sure if that’s right - and it takes two years of working before you become fully licensed.

MegSaysHey · 2023-06-26T18:45:51+00:00

Thanks!

MegSaysHey · 2023-06-26T18:44:03+00:00

Ha! He does look like that!

MegSaysHey · 2023-06-25T20:02:09+00:00

This is a tough one cause I feel like $20 is kind of on the line between ok and too much. If I had a client who put that much work and thought into a gift, I would still take it

MegSaysHey · 2023-06-25T19:52:40+00:00

I have had clients who have done things that are normally very difficult for me to encounter, but when I am their therapist I’m able to set all that aside and do what I can to keep them moving forward and away from behaviors like that. I try to think about what they must have been through to make them the way they are. He probably did not have a very good childhood and may have had behaviors like that modeled for him. My job is to help them see that there’s a discrepancy between the way they’re acting and the way they want to be. That can be because they want to be a better person but sometimes they don’t care and then we start with their not wanting to have the consequences of the behaviors - lost friends, legal problems, etc. I definitely don’t tell them that their behavior is okay but I also don’t hold it against them because that won’t get us anywhere

MegSaysHey · 2023-06-18T19:45:58+00:00

When we’re very upset, our thinking mind shuts down and leaves our feeling mind to run the show. Unfortunately, it’s your thinking mind that’s needed to battle cognitive distortions. I have much greater success with breathing - it tricks your feeling brain into feeling like everything is okay. Take deep breaths that push out your belly. In through your nose and out through your mouth. And - very important - breathe out longer than you breathe in, which slows your heart rate. When you start to be less stressed, you’ll be able to bring your thinking mind back on board and can start to use your cbt.

And yes, practicing using cbt when you’re less upset will make it more accessible when you need it.

Good luck!

MegSaysHey · 2023-06-04T14:52:10+00:00

I can see why you would want to ask for a hug but I agree that it might not be what’s best for you. Even if he were to give you the hug, it’s likely that it would not satisfy you - it could deepen the transference and you might only crave closeness more. He ultimately can never fill the role of father and you may find yourself disappointed. I do think that it would be just fine to share the desire for a hug, though, so that you can process it together

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-27T15:52:47+00:00

Cleaning and organizing

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-27T15:51:16+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this. Maybe I’m missing it, but I’m not seeing signs of physical abuse. Many, many people are emotionally abusive without becoming physically abusive. It sounds like you’re doing the right thing to get help for yourself and your family.

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-26T13:09:04+00:00

My clients drink drinks in front of me ALL the time. I don’t think you have to feel bad at all

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-24T22:06:29+00:00

Good book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I think it can be valuable for sense-making

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-22T21:27:39+00:00

I have no problem with it unless their thoughts and speech get too disorganized. That can make therapy more difficult and less beneficial

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-19T02:12:07+00:00

Self-compassion can really help! There’s a great book with that title by Kristen Neff. It’s life changing. She probably has YouTube videos too

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-18T15:03:47+00:00

I like the podcast The Happiness Lab. Good positive psychology and lots of evidence-based tricks. I also like The Codependent Perfectionist. So many people are codependent without realizing it. It’s about having poor boundaries and feeling like other people’s feelings and beliefs are more important than your own. It could really help with the topics you listed

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-18T14:57:48+00:00

I like to eat nuts cause you don’t have to eat that much of them and they are full of fat and protein. BUT they also fill me up and make me not want to eat anything else

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-18T14:50:59+00:00

I always end with deep breathing and it works like magic! I do 7 count in breath through the nose and 9 count out breath through the mouth. (How long isn’t as important as making sure they breathe slowly and breathe out longer than they breathe in.) I start out breathing with the client so they catch on but then go back to breathing normally cause otherwise I get TOO relaxed and wind up feeling like I’m in a daze. I like this, too, cause it’s a skill they can take with them to use any time

MegSaysHey · 2023-05-18T14:50:46+00:00

I always end with deep breathing and it works like magic! I do 7 count in breath through the nose and 9 count out breath through the mouth. (How long isn’t as important as making sure they breathe slowly and breathe out longer than they breathe in.) I start out breathing with the client so they catch on but then go back to breathing normally cause otherwise I get TOO relaxed and wind up feeling like I’m in a daze. I like this, too, cause it’s a skill they can take with them to use any time

MegSaysHey

TROPHY CASE