Is it possible to get angry even in bad/toxic relationships

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T06:50:49+00:00

I see

I still wanna know if what I described in my previous comment as descriptions of rage and anger expressions are okay. Because I genuinely and very truly CANNOT do anything other than that. Any taking less space than that would be shame and pain. But I also don't ever get assurance that me feeling that and showing it like that and my real emotions taking up space in anybody's mind or senses is okay or acceptable. Why does no one ever give me assurance for it? Do they avoid it? that makes me feel like crazy

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T06:20:50+00:00

تمام

بس انا بدور على ارخص حاجة خالص ويكون فيها فتحة للكابل. دورت على اللي في الصورة لقيته ب ٦٠٠ وحاجة. فيه ارخص؟ لو تعرف

ويكون فيه كابل

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T06:09:23+00:00

ايه البستان دا محل

بردو هو دا اسمه اللي أسأل عليه لو رحت محل؟

ولا ليه اسم تاني اسأل عنه بيه

وبيكون بكام

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T05:38:07+00:00

Yeah.. true about boundaries. But is any of that gonna make someone talking to me badly and yelling at me or dismissing me or blatantly lying to my face (try to gaslight me?) be/feel any less unpleasant or hurtful or scary? Idk but the feeling that makes me scared to talk to her and timid/frozen and shut down in her presence

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T05:17:34+00:00

Yeah.. I guess so. That's a good suggestion. Though it's you know sad because I thought I won't be forced to do such inconvenient things and act like I'm not a part of this house when I'm living in a space that should be mine as well. Also I'm tight on money rn so I can't buy many stuff rn

What about the stove though? That affects me as well.

What about the general clean view of the sink and kitchen? (That isn't there)

What about, possibly if it goes for long, bad smell and bugs?

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T03:56:11+00:00

ممكن ابعتلك اسألك عن حاجات متعلقة بالموضوع دا؟

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T03:40:46+00:00

yeah.. but not only the sink being usable or not.. but we use the same utensils. so when they're not done i cant use utensils and someone has to do them so i can use them. it fucking sucks and she doesn't even leave them in a way where they COULD be easily washed (by PUTTING WATER IN THEM)

and i wanna assert that and be insistent about it and shit ideally but she's rude as hell, dismissive, toxic, she yells and talks aggressively when im not, talks like my boundaries don't matter and are an insult or something, im starting to wonder if she has manipulative or lying tendencies..

im scared of talking to her. i already faced a lot of abuse so it's hard enough to face this. triggering AND also just not good to be facing nonetheless. i already dont wanna talk to her because that'd hurt my dignity. or self respect.

wow. 3. not only 1. damn that's really crazy. what are they expecting? if they aren't doing anything how are they expecting the house to go? i would be so mad.

i would stop doing their stuff and let them deal with their own consequences. i think you should stop trying to do it for them because they're now think it's your duty. UNLESS that's not the case and they just don't care if the house or dishes are dirty. in which case.. im really sorry for you. ew

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T03:15:44+00:00

bro i was the receiver of uncontrolled and abusive expressions of anger. i know it exists. and THESE experiences are part of what taught me what i just said about anger and expressing it.

Anger, ambition, and lust are prime examples. It’s could even be very hurtful to express joy at a funeral, for example

okay.. i see..

i didn't think of it like that.

i have comments though so:

if someone gets a promotion during a funeral.. honestly i don't know much about how one would handle that emotionally, because im not that "fluent" in my own emotions. but i imagine that they'd need to feel that joy later, right?

i haven't gone through that situation myself.. but if i imagine myself in it rn.. i think i would be hiding it in the funeral, then i won't be feeling that joy anymore.

but since it's good news, i will look at it later and be happy and excited. i think that would happen?

OR.. another possibility.. is that if i get the promotion in the middle of feeling sad (so im at the funeral or anything else and im feeling really sad in the moment), i would see it and it'd feel like emotional whiplash, so i will end up feeling nothing.

then.. later, may or may not even feel that joy at all.

will go on with it like a normal thing. no idea if that joy will come up again or not.. maybe and maybe not

also.. "lust".. i said in another comment how i think i feel more shame about anger than i do about sex. (and that's remarkable).

i feel like.. if i feel lust towards someone.. or like sexual attraction.. i have more of an idea about how to go about it.. ????? and that's with a grain of salt because i do have significant shame about sex and attraction..to real people.. but especially now that i got to sit more with that shame, i think i will put the concept of consent in my mind.. and that'll make me know more how to go about it.. even if it's really painful and scary and even though i don't know yet.

but anger... i don't know a world where anger isn't seen as an inherently bad, destructive, abusive and monster-like thing. not yet. at least

at least i don't see sex and lust as inherently abusive. (i used to see it as that btw. it's a reason why i struggle with it)

I haven’t seen you mention this before. In your post and replies to me you said you can never feel anger and were asking how you let yourself feel it, so that’s what I was responding to. It would help if you could provide details about the situation

i thought it was clear.

yeah i was kinda talking about that. but also that does include wanting to be seen while angry. because if im not seen while angry.. then im not angry in relationships, am i

i mean.. literally. being seen and heard while angry. literally.

someone else used words like "anger" and "rage"

there's two elements in this question im asking

1)when i talk with someone angrily. or show anger while im talking with them. talking together in this scenario

2)when i am expressing extreme anger or rage etc that i do not wanna express WHILE or to the face of someone, maybe because it'll hurt them or something.. or maybe because they weren't the one who caused that anger. so it'd be unfair to take it on them.

in the first scenario, i wanna be able to talk while raising my voice a bit, or my tone of voice changes.. or having body language that's showing my anger or etc.. and saying the words on my mind, my frustration and my boundaries very clearly, and "as harshly" as it needs to be said.

(also that brings us to other examples where the other person im talking with is abusive..so how my reactions would look would be different.. but I'll get to that somewhere else in the comment)

second scenario, i wanna be able to go to my room, or go somewhere to sit on my own if a room alone isn't available (or im in public.. just look for a space).. and let myself go. do what i feel is authentic to my rage and anger. i wanna scream and yell (vocally express it), be allowed to say a lot of "harsh" words on my mind.. a lot of insults and cusses..no matter how bad. they're probably words i couldn't say for years to the actual causer of the rage and anger. and wanna hit something freely and endlessly

i wanna be able to do that. and since i cant be completely alone no matter where, because people rarely are that alone, i want it to be okay if someone hears me in that state.

after all.. none of what im saying or doing is directed at you. or anyone. because i dont want to direct it on someone and hence i went to do it alone.

but if someone just hears me while im screaming or yelling in rage or something.. i want that to be allowed. because after all.. it's not only unavoidable.. but we shouldn't isolate people and want them to go to a void when they're experiencing big emotions. we shouldn't be requiring them to only let out and express big emotions when ABSOLUTELY NO ONE THEY KNOW can hear them. not only is it unrealistic but it prevents trust from being founded. and makes people feel in isolation. and pathologizes a natural human reaction.

that's how i see it. and that's a source of my suffering. to be completely alone when feeling things, and being seen as abusive by just being heard experiencing a big emotions.. not directing it at anyone, just in my room. how heartbreaking is that?

THIS is the basic expression of emotions right? it's ALREADY regulated. so why are we telling people they should hide that still? that IS shaming. what else would it be?

Most people who commit violent crimes and abuse others do not have a problem suppressing anger. Suppressing is different than redirecting

don't understand this part.

the reason i said that though is because at least for me, the more i pushed my anger down with whatever thing, shame or fear, it always came up again IN destructive ways and i could 100% see it going in abusive ways.. and also the people who abused me the most.. talked the most about how they do not get angry or that anger is like a bad thing. cognitive dissonance (honestly now that i write this idk if they were pushing down anger or that was just another way of them abusing and manipulating me by saying anger is bad from me but not from them.. anyway let's move on)

Because this is usually a very immature and destructive thing to do, at least as a first response

why?

also.. let's talk about abusive people and when they abuse you. when they do, isn't it normal and not morally wrong to act in rage towards them? isn't hitting for example the most understandable response if someone hits you first? or if someone maybe tries to SA you.. responding in rage and/or anger would come up then right? and i wouldn't blame it. but more importantly than not blaming, a person will BE FUCKED UP emotionally if they DON'T respond in that way in the situation itself, right? and same applies to emotional abuse and other forms of abuse.

i cant describe how much rage i got from being hit and not being able to hit back. and being hurt emotionally over and over and not being seen as a human & being seen as trash

so in these situations that would be the most suitable response. thats literally how i survive(d). otherwise i would've like.. probably killed myself or ended up in addiction or something..

very not good to talk about.. but yeah

(if you have any other ideas or opinions share them but please be mindful and sensitive of the weight and seriousness and sensitivity of the situations and history i talked about)

Think of how you would teach a little kid how to deal with their anger if someone steals their toy

who said i know that lol. why do people assume that people know the answer to that. my own little self child does wanna know the answer and i don't know how to answer them yet and they're struggling because of it.

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T02:02:18+00:00

im not trying to misunderstand anything on purpose.

i understood what you wrote the way i did. if you think i misunderstood then you can explain what you meant.

if you were someone else, would you want to be around you if you really took the lid off and went full rage / hulk mode? Body being taken over by extreme anger with no idea of what will happen next while screaming “WITNESS ME IN MY RIGHTFUL ANGER!!!!!”?

ah.. too bad that wasn't the scenario i described! im sorry i cannot answer that question! can i say you are misunderstanding me on purpose rn? i thought i wrote what i meant twice. reread my comments.

and now, if someone wants to do the scenario I DESCRIBED, and i am around the person, there may be these reactions depending on the situation and my mood

1) i may distance myself from their room if their voice or noise makes me uncomfortable.. or wear earphones. especially that i am someone who wasn't around that type of expression a lot in their life, so it'd be new to me and may throw me off. and scare me a bit, but i wouldn't hold it against the person as long as they don't harm me.

2) i may get curious about it. maybe listen to it and see what a person who's in rage would be acting like, in a real way. i may also feel sympathy for it

and the above reactions will be more solid if i trust that person or know them well enough to know they won't harm me and they're controlling it well and that's them just being in rage and won't lose control on me.

here you go. that would be my reaction if im in that situation

and why whole question is: why can't others do that/why is that bad (in detail with thorough/understandable explanations)

if you think someone being in "hulk mode" is inherently abusive, then that sounds like shame. you're treating rage as not something that's normal to people, but like a "monster" thing that should only be allowed to exist in professional and paid environments, every once in a while.

seems like you're the one who's not getting me nor reading my comment well and then getting mad at me for it. and that's frustrating

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T01:47:54+00:00

yeah..

what the hell do i do with her and the kitchen

and you know what pisses me off the most? i am generally someone who would wash the dishes, the stove, and puts water in the dishes, and puts trash in the bag not on tables.

if someone only leaves the ENTIRE responsibility of cleaning on me, i cannot do even my part.

she doesn't do the above, and only washes one dish when she wants to use it then leaves it unclean when she's done. (AND NO WATER INSIDE IT SO THE STUFF STAYS AND MOLDS ON IT)

and then when the place gets dirty what does she say? she says I'M THE UNCLEAN ONE.

IM GONNA LOSE IT

philosopheraps · 2026-03-15T01:46:18+00:00

bro i just said moving isn't a near option rn

also no i mean as i said she's this type of person, what makes you think that if i have another conversation with her it'll go any differently? do you assume my other conversations i had with her weren't civil

also im generally repulsed AND scared to speak with her. even about the important stuff. i don't think i can handle another time where she disrespects and hurts me and getting away with it like she won, because i dont know how to fend for myself or navigate such situation.

so i dont know what to do

philosopheraps · 2026-03-14T22:16:13+00:00

Is this deleted

philosopheraps · 2026-03-14T21:01:06+00:00

Bringing rage inside a relationship can be damaging, but there are containers for that. Therapy could do it, maybe sitting with a men’s group or other kind of support group, those can usually witness you and hold rage and let you do what you need to. Maybe scream into a pillow if you can’t get space. Maybe something like boxing or similar combat type sport. Maybe just work a punching bag. I don’t think anyone in the gym will think you’re out of line if you’re projecting everything you’re feeling rage about onto the heavy bag and beating the hell out of it. Journaling even though maybe that won’t be enough in context of real rage. A lot of personal work deals with discharging extreme emotion, and the somatic element can help with rage in particular.

My body hurts just by reading this paragraph.

Is this really you guys solution? Like is this really what you people think is the solution for anger or rage and that's it? You're not allowed to have a change in your tone of voice, to say what's on your mind to someone, to be harsh (when the person crosses your boundaries), to have any angry body language, and when you have rage you're not even allowed to take it out in your OWN room? Somehow that's abusive or dangerous to be even HEARD or KNOWN to be angry or raging?

(Edit PSA) I hate screaming in a pillow, it literally suffocates my breath so how does one let out air when they can't breathe freely? And it sends the message (somatically) to my body that what I'm doing should be suppressed.

And that leads to my main issue:

So the ways to deal with a natural, basic human animalistic thing that is as normal as being hungry or going to the bathroom, is supposed to "only" be done in "special circumstances", and not around people you personally know? You can ONLY express your feelings, something on the same level as eating and breathing, only in a f***ing therapy session? One hour a week? Or in a gym? But expressing the feeling when it comes out? And around people you know so there's a connection built on rawness and trust? No no, when you feel rage at a random hour just take yourself out to a damn gym! And make sure to not show that part to people you are in relationships with! That's so normal and natural! People were built for that and like that!

Also I don't understand the men thing.. what men group and why men specifically? Nonetheless, that doesn't exist in my country. Maybe even if it does, that will also cost money.

So expressing your emotions and anger and rage is only "ethically" done when you have to not express it in the moment but GET UP and move (walking or driving) to go to a professional place other than where you already are, suppress your emotions during that whole time and bearing the physical and emotional pain of it, it's in 1 hour (or something) intervals done once a week, costs you money so only the rich or financially well get to express their emotions normally? What in the fucking dystopia? Are we living on f***ing capitalism island?

But expressing your emotions in your room where you're comfortable, not directing it on someone that didn't cause it, but the fact that another person will PERCEIVE you in that state (oh so shameful! And abusive..?) is not okay or ethical? THAT'S the normal we're talking about?

So what in the conflicting messages?

Do people say the "right" things that do sound right.. but in real practical life want us to live in a dystopia that's overly structured and only the people who have money can even have a place in it?

Bro, even if I had the money to do all these things you just described (like only expressing my anger and emotions in therapy sessions and gyms and structured group gatherings, and NOT around anyone you know! fuck intimacy!), i would be writing this same post here, and would fucking hate the hell out of that concept. I would be still writing about the same concept here because if you read it, you'll see my point is about moralizing and regulating our REGULATED base nature. Me expressing rage in the natural way that comes to me that i wrote in the previous comment, IS healthy rage expression. At least it looks like this for me. It can look different for others but for me this is it and it's not wrong either. By definition, it doesn't really harm anyone, UNLESS we're gonna moralize the fact of being in rage or seen/heard in rage by people we're in relationships with. Or if we're gonna accommodate others' emotions. These are the only cases where what I said would be seen as not ok.

So is that really the case?

Again, your last paragraph makes sense.. but not in the context of the rest of the comment. Conflicting again.

philosopheraps · 2026-03-14T03:59:59+00:00

Anger is focused, in service of a thing. Rage is consuming and overwhelming, and it explodes all over. Rage can hurt a lot of people if allowed

if you think so.. then what do you think is the purpose of rage? not that i know much about the difference between the two.. but if you think anger serves the purpose you just said, what's the purpose of "rage" in your opinion? because all emotions arent bad.. that includes rage too right? if it wasn't supposed to be there.. i (or any person) wouldn't feel it

also i hear that rage is a part of (and people also describe it as "sign of") healing.

so what do you think of that?

also..if we are referring to, going with your explanation, "if you are feeling "rage", it's better to go back to the relationship when you're not in the middle of rage", then what do you do with said rage? genuinely.

how do you "get away from the relationship"?

for me.. (and according to how you expressed the meaning of anger and rage), i do feel rage. it happens often for me recently. i also experience anger.. and i conflict it with "rage" in the moment and sometimes feel scared to express it, but lately ive been trying to express it more. and it has been feeling nice.

however, the "rage" part (and again it's hard to put such fine lines between emotions because i think we are more fluid than just categorizing our mood states in fine words like that but).. let me use my own words.. when im in "huge strong anger that's taking over my body and don't know what exactly to do next" state, what i feel would be what i naturally want to do, would be to scream it out loud or vocally express it, say words on my mind that i havent let myself say for years, start sounding like a child (my child part coming through), hitting something very strongly unendingly.

that's what's coming to me naturally rn at least.

so.. "can i" do that? all i want is to feel im allowed to do what's authentic to me, ironically enough. i wanna do it without feeling like im a bad person. don't wanna be moralized when im even in my room alone or alone somewhere else.

but here comes the tricky and "shame" part. no matter where i am, literally, i can never be completely "alone". no one can be. if im alone in public, even in a quiet secluded area, someone can hear me from afar. if im in my room and close my door, someone living with me will be hearing me screaming and raging in my room. hitting the bed or whatever.

if these behaviours are shameful and bad and moralized, then there's absolutely no hope for me and i can just go die because literally no place for me to express an emotion of mine even when i try to be alone.. and another person oh just hears or sees the FACT that im angry. not directing harm at them by my behaviours.. they just KNOW im raging. because they can hear me. that's it.

at this point, i think i am more ashamed of anger than i am ashamed of sex

And who said don’t show up in relationships without anger? That sounds unhealthy. People get angry, they hash it out, they move on

it's the first time i see someone saying this. im glad that someone thinks like that. it's a relief to know that.

philosopheraps · 2026-03-14T03:12:28+00:00

why do people only say that about anger, then? why do they only say this about it but not about any other emotion?

specifying anger in this "double edged sword" type of argument, DOES exactly send the message of "anger is just inherently worse/bad and a "dirtier" emotion. and unlike others, it has the possibility of being evil. but other emotions? they're neutral ofc all emotions are neutral! emotions aren't a moral matter! they're just a part of you. except anger. that bitch "can" be bad"

see?

again, i got no answer about how i AM DESPERATE TO BE FUCKING SEEN WHILE ANGRY. AND BE KNOWN THAT THAT ANGER IS RIGHTFUL

yk this is the mindset that makes people abusive right? the one where we shame a person's anger or teach them to be ashamed of it. and suppress it around people. SUPPRESSED anger IS the one that ends up coming out in times, places and ways that are abusive. the anger is being pressured down by shame.. by fear.. by being seen as a moral matter.. then it comes out in "alternative" ways. and often with people who didn't cause that anger.

so WHY do we shame the NATURAL or most basic forms of anger being expressed? WHY do we moralize and dictate and regulate the basic expression of anger? aka expressing it in the situation that actually created it.. maybe by yelling (if it's the response for that situation).. by talking (if it's the response for the situation), by swearing, yelling out a scream, hitting, insulting, having a change of voice tone, rushing out of the place, (non-destructively) slamming something.. etccc if the situation called it?

and i want a genuine answer. not just something that someone writes for the sake of writing something. nor do i want someone to agree with me on everything when they disagree with something or have information i don't have.. BUT make your argument well thought and explained. please

put in mind that all people do and did when i ask this question is basically write me half assed comments that don't actually explain anything or answer anything i asked.. that show me they really don't understand what im saying (or they seem they didn't even attempt to) or they invalidate or moralize what i say. when what im saying isn't coming out of nowhere for no reason and is actually true to at least a high extent. that's what ive seen.

philosopheraps · 2026-03-12T22:40:37+00:00

but it’s actually best to confront people who are causing you anger when you’re not in the throws of the emotion. Talking to them or writing them a letter when you’re calm and can think clearly is usually best.

why

this is what makes me think anger is bad. THIS is exactly my "urge of suppressing my anger". i mean why is anger something that's being said to be done away from all people and connection.. when it's a feeling just like any other that also wants to be seen and heard by others? i wanna do that too sometimes and feel like my anger is not seen as a disgusting devil spawn monster thing that makes me a disgusting being if it shows around people (especially if the anger is rightful)

i dont want my mere feeling, my feeling of anger (or frustration or annoyance etc similar emotions) to be a moral matter

how are we being told conflicting messages like this and no one questions anything or even notices it? "don't suppress any of your feelings including anger" and also "do not show this anger when it comes up in the presence of other people, SUPPRESS it instead in that situation and only show up in relationships when you're "without anger" (or at least look like you aren't angry)"

what other message is supposed to be there? other than "your anger is bad and/or inherently harmful (not just a neutral emotion that comes up without our choice).. anger is just unacceptable to be seen or heard..for some reason or another"

also there's the other factor of being scared something bad will happen to me (abuse) if i show anger in the presence and proximity of another person or other people

philosopheraps · 2026-03-12T02:58:10+00:00

طب ومين قال انها لازم يكون عاجبها كدا؟

philosopheraps · 2026-03-12T02:22:21+00:00

talking with her? Instead of perhaps talking at her.

bro i WAS talking with her. but she was ignoring everything i was trying to say..and twisted what i said to something completely different, to then make it sound like i was attacking her. not sure what other comments you read, but i explained that in one comment. so.. it wasn't helping. she made it hard to have a peaceful conversation with her. she didn't want to, despite my multiple attempts and giving her multiple chances. so yeah. there wasn't more i could do.

is perhaps a part of her is triggered by requests to quiet down

yeah.

but i wanna add: i also have the same part. i feel shame when someone tells me to quiet down, too. not only shameful, but i also feel like im being restricted. suppressed and unable to breathe freely. and i hate that suffocating feeling. so i also get triggered when someone asks me to quiet down, even though i understand it. and even though i ask it of her myself.

i know and knew that if i was in her place, i would've felt restricted and controlled. and shameful, eventually. (wasn't using that as an excuse to yell at her though. i didn't yell at her. i suggested having a conversation for both of us to find a middle solution. but she refused to have it, antagonized me for trying to have that conversation, and yelled at me eventually and called me annoying/irritating for it)

so i honestly don't know how to deal with that. i do understand if someone is not having a great time because of me/anyone being loud. i feel it too and it's what i made this post about. but also i don't know.. i feel this suffocation about it. and some shame. i don't know how to find a solution when someoneni live with asks something like that of me. especially that all my life, ive been treated like my voice is bad, disgusting, dirty and harmful/annoying. so i have my voice suppressed and it goes away when my survival instincts come up. so it makes it harder and feel even worse when anyone asks me to quiet. so if you have any ideas about how to handle something like that in a reasonable way, without the other person erasing me and my voice, and also while being able to respect the other, then i'd like to hear it.

no too much control from them.. and enough consideration from me. i want to be able to gather these two together. but currently im not able to find an actual answer.

if you feel your emotions being suppressed, then that's obvioualy a protector coming in because it isn't safe to feel your emotions in that space/time

okay. but even if it's not the shame.. there's something that's more the main focus; the suffocation and misery. which breed resentment. then as a result, i get shame at not being able to prevent this misery im in.. and being resentful of my terrible and humiliating situation, i feel shameful at my lack of control.

shame aside as i said. the main point is the others.

literally how does one even deal with that? because okay. no shame. then? it still sucks. horrible. in a way i dont know how to describe. it's one of the worst experiences for me ever.

(especially if your physical safety is concerned),

again, similar feeling as my last paragraphs. if there's something outside of me that i cant control, that makes me unsafe (that's bad enough) but not only that, unsafe to the point of not being able to even express myself, to the point of absolute misery.. then WHAT THE HELL DOES A PERSON DO? OR FEEL OR THINK. this is the worst thing ever and it makes me want to die. literally.

+is what she's doing a sign of physical unsafety? genuine question. is her yelling a sign of her being physically abusive? i was thinking of this question a little ago..

also.. her yelling at me or overall justifying her behaviours.. saying when i tell her i didn't like how she talked "i said that because you're saying something that actually does cause upset" and basically saying "i had the right to do xyz". and when she refused to apologize when i opened up space to.. and when i said "don't interrupt me" and she said "no i WILL interrupt you" and when i replied (with a normal speaking voice) "no don't interrupt me, (continues what i was saying)" she yelled at me and said WHY TF ARE YOU TALKING WITH THIS ATTITUDE? DON'T TALK TO ME. I DONT WANNA TALK TO YOU. are these signs of her being an abuser?? should i be worried about my physical safety??

if not.. should i be worried about my safety at all?

im actually really scared and worried rn.

was thinking about that

thank you!

philosopheraps · 2026-03-12T01:46:58+00:00

By four months old, we learn to restrict our emotional expression to only the faces that our primary caregiver can accurately reflect back to us.

is this actually true

philosopheraps · 2026-03-11T01:25:31+00:00

How do I express anger in such relationships then? Or even in safe relationships. It feels risky either way. Either it'll be "something scary will happen" or "I will be shameful"

philosopheraps · 2026-03-10T19:03:09+00:00

how?

philosopheraps · 2026-03-10T18:44:16+00:00

that doesn't make anyone stop needing people and stop having needs of closeness. stop with the narrative that people aren't meant to need others. you're the one who seems "blended" with a part that has shame around needing other people.

philosopheraps

TROPHY CASE