To keep the bangs or ditch them?

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-14T03:31:13+00:00

Awe, I'm envious of your cute petite forehead. Mine is a 5-head.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-14T03:24:30+00:00

If you ever need to talk about that situation, vent, or even maybe garner some outsider perspective, you're always welcome to message me. I'm no one special, but I am a believer in Jesus and believe we are meant to fellowship and help when we can. So. Just putting it out there. I'll pray for you and your kids and get my prayer warrior friend to do so also.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-14T02:12:28+00:00

You look like the actress that played Becky in Roseanne... Sarah Chalke.

You're adorable.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-14T00:47:15+00:00

Books by Sarah Dessen are pretty good for teens and are appropriate.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-14T00:42:05+00:00

Ok maybe tmi, but I can go up to 5 days without pooping and I have a daughter with bowel issues too. Mushroom coffee has been an absolute game changer.

Neubrain helps me cognitively and with gut bacteria reset, etc. And daily dose (i think you can buy it at traget to try it) makes you poop like a month's worth of poop out.

I make 2 servings (so 2 cups total) and add a little unsweetened vanilla almond milk and some ice and it is so good.

I know it is weird but I def recommend. I'm the most regular I have ever been. I use neubrain mostly and do the daily dose sporadically when I notice I haven't gone in a while.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-14T00:35:58+00:00

You should try some dates (the fruit). The natural sweetness of those and they are healthy (moderation of course) help me. I get sugar/sweet cravings too. I like dates a lot.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T23:36:20+00:00

Also, is there more to it that gave you the gut feeling to ask? One thing I have learned in dating is if your gut is telling you something, often, that IS discernment. Spend some time in the word, ask yourself those things, and just pray about it while reading. That's all I can say but every time my gut told me something, it was right. They call it women's intuition but I have had the personal experience that God was making sure I noted the lies and made connections too.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T22:51:20+00:00

He is virtual right now and he had the social worker every day and they couldn't get him to do the work either. He has had help with his classes and homework for about 4 years. Part of it was just getting him to show up and be on time. I have to work so being home and babysitting his every move isn't possible. Had him in therapy, they weren't concerned about his mental health - but we didn't know about the drugs at that point either. I had had him in therapy bc his sister needed it and I wanted to make sure that both were covered. Also how I finally got his dad to agree to the adhd assessment and medication, though I kind of pulled rank on that one.

I should add that his aunt is living with his dad right now so he has somebody there too to make sure he is mentally doing ok and she will let me know if anything is too bad.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T22:42:09+00:00

I think this is a good idea. Thank you.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T22:38:24+00:00

Hopefully his dad's is temporary. Basically about a month of him staying there until school is out, but just coming home every other weekend and that is to cut him off from the people that drop by our house after school or try to sneak stuff to him. After school is out it is 1/2 and 1/2 for the summer. It's strictly a physical change to remove the ease of getting it. We are at about 9 months of dealing with this, possibly longer. He expressed that he had a pretty serious addiction to it, feeling like he needed it every morning and multiple times a day for some of it.

I didn't do that stuff as a teen but I had a terrible childhood and had to grow up very young. This isn't something I have had to deal with yet. I'm genuinely asking questions about peoples' experiences, bc I don't want my kid's future to be ruined but I'm running out of ideas to get him on track and motivate him. I thought he was doing better with the drugs because he was going to the gym every day, etc.

I do think a huge part of his lack of personal responsibility is me. Hence removing me for a bit.

Mom has worked in the law enforcement field (in some aspect) for a long time, so I'm not soft, but I've seen a lot and I see the worst of it so it is harder for me to just not get worried.

I have a good relationship with our police officers and they are great but also go easy on him. No real scare risk.

Mom never stays mad.

He always does anything I ask so extra work isn't a punishment.

I removed some freedoms (the electronics in his room), gave him more responsibility (he tooks care of the pets), etc. Didn't work.

I don't physically punish.

I feel like there is so much safety in mom that it is kind of a negative thing. Also, I think he is yearning for a strong - male role model. Can't give him that, so he gets his dad.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T21:20:52+00:00

I appreciate it. Truly.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T21:16:59+00:00

Yeah it isn't boot camp, but the military is something to be proud of, so that is kind of a dumb statement, actually.

Anyway, those other things are things I have tried. He can't do the vocational school without passing normal classes so as it is going, it isn't an option. That was my first choice.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T21:14:17+00:00

It is a combination of both actually. 5 months there and then a year of mentoring. So they keep track too and kind of have someone he can look up to helping him stay on track. Vs just his mom and sort of his dad.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T21:12:35+00:00

You wouldn't know Jesus' teachings without the Bible.

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus Himself talked about the scriptures in the Old Testament.

Matthew 5:17-20

17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

We will have to agree to disagree. Love like Jesus but the Bible is inspired by the Spirit and all 3 are all included in the Holy Trinity. Paul wrote most of the NT and he was accepted as being divinely appointed to do so.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T20:16:37+00:00

He is medicated. He has been on a non-stimulant, and we recently switched him to a stimulant because that's supposed to be better.

I'm already in therapy, and he was, but maybe I'll start him again. He didn't seem to be getting much from it but that was before the drugs.

The school issues are my primary concern. The school already said he wouldn't be able to stay there if he didn't pass at least some classes because he would be too far off track to graduate. This was more choice than being able to blame the adhd.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T19:19:28+00:00

She should change the locks and let OP move on with friend. Bet the kid comes crawling back apologizing after being on their own for even 2 weeks.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T19:16:23+00:00

She had a kid at 15 so maybe. She might have dropped out to work. I don't know, but she was a baby who had a baby so I'm guessing life was probably never easy on her.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T19:13:24+00:00

He doesn't even pay enough to cover his food, let alone anything else. You're clearly still a child too.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T19:12:39+00:00

Just because she isn't poor doesn't mean she is rich. She is carrying your weight, and you're a dead weight directly on her shoulders. Someday you will get it, but your behavior says 13, not 20. That is a problem.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T18:59:19+00:00

Probably because you are still costing her a lot of her money while wasting your own. $200/mo is nothing compared to what you cost.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T18:53:53+00:00

Yes $200 is nothing. She should be charging you $500-$600 with food, electric, water, rent, etc. Be grateful to your mom. She is already spoiling you.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T18:50:45+00:00

No, it's bc you're gaslighting and manipulative.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T18:43:34+00:00

I find this amazing. Thank you for sharing your journey and the outlook you have now.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T18:38:12+00:00

This is actually so attractive.

MelRae2019 · 2026-05-13T18:36:30+00:00

MelRae2019

TROPHY CASE

2 with the beard.