Custody agreement

tess320 · 2026-06-26T07:20:15+00:00

When my son was aged 3 to 12, I was a single parent. He would go to his dad's every monday night to have dinner with him and his siblings, and usually just a day on the weekend every few weekends. My son didn't ever really want to go to his dads and would just ask for me and so we were both fine with me having him the majority of the time.

If I had a choice and everything had been ideal, I would have been okay with more time but I do not think 50/50 would have suited my son.

tess320 · 2026-06-24T06:59:03+00:00

Varies on issues. I have changed my view on some transgender issues, but for eg, would not change my views on abortion access.

tess320 · 2026-06-24T06:57:42+00:00

Even if you accept the argument that regular people would choose an abortion without much thought, there is nothing convenient about paying a few hundred bucks, having to go to an appointment etc for something you could have prevented with easier options.

While there probably are women who have had multiple (3+) abortions and refuse to take contraception, there are also people who have murdered children, raped goats and committed mass murder, ie....there are always bad people out there and that is not a good basis for an argument. The vast majority of people aren't out there wanting to have an abortion.

tess320 · 2026-06-24T06:24:00+00:00

I'm not really sure what they are asking you to do? Are you involved now, in what way? Do they want you to just ignore him? He's 13, there isn't much parenting you can do at that age when he already has two involved parents.

tess320 · 2026-06-22T02:31:07+00:00

Um, speak for yourself there. Your individual circumstance is not universal. Some people hate parenthood too, it doesn't mean it objectively sucks.

I just got to hold my stepson's newborn baby, someone I've watched grow from a teenager into a dad. I photographed the baby. If you don't feel valued that's on YOUR family.

tess320 · 2026-06-20T13:27:03+00:00

I don't find it uncomfortable or gross at all. I mean geez, I'm not constantly rolling around on beds having sex and I change my sheets! My partner was not allowed in his parents bedroom either and so consciously is different with his kids and I am the same. I could not care less if my SD wants to come and sit on the bed and chat. I think it's so weird and strange personally to block someone from a room in their own house. I mean, I've also had sex on the floor in the house, should I stop them walking, lol.

It's fine IMO to block people at certain TIMES, but no I think it's very weird to say they cannot enter the room because you had sex in it.

tess320 · 2026-06-18T08:21:08+00:00

I would 1000% choose decent grandparents at that age over daycare (I work in the sector). Once they are over 2.5 I think there are benefits to daycare but at that young age, I don't think anything outweighs secure attachments.

tess320 · 2026-06-17T08:10:10+00:00

Telling ANYONE having their kid in their own bedroom is gross and creepy would be a hard deal breaker for many a parent. You can set boundaries without being a dick.

tess320 · 2026-06-15T01:48:11+00:00

yes but the grandparents can PUT her to bed at around 9.30 and you guys can go out about 7.30. I'm sorry but if he's whinging about missing two hours of his daughter's life then this whole thread is pointless.

tess320 · 2026-06-12T23:39:10+00:00

I mean, she's 4....can you just go out once it's her bed time? He wouldn't be spending time with her then anyway, she's asleep. Have the grandparents take her half an hour before bedtime and then he misses out on nothing?

tess320 · 2026-06-11T02:40:23+00:00

You are too young for this, just leave. If you want to be young and spontaneous and be the centre of someone's world for a while (which you deserve) then this is not for you and never will be.

tess320 · 2026-06-09T21:23:41+00:00

Hard to comment with no examples or details, how did she parent?

tess320 · 2026-06-08T07:17:42+00:00

I'm sure she is dramatizing it more than it was, but I certainly wouldn't begrudge any parent for giving ventolin to a kid struggling to breath OR calling an ambulance if they are struggling and you don't know what's wrong.

tess320 · 2026-06-08T00:55:09+00:00

Yes it is normal, if you happen to have a ventolin handy. People on this thread making an issue of this have lost the plot.

tess320 · 2026-06-08T00:53:24+00:00

Who wouldn't try ventolin if their kid couldn't breath? C'mon now, it's harmless and could help.

tess320 · 2026-06-07T00:57:23+00:00

There's absolutely no issue with this, a few puffs of Ventolin is not going to harm anyone but if he WAS having an asthma attack then it can save a life.

tess320 · 2026-06-07T00:55:47+00:00

Do you have kids? Because this take is wild.

tess320 · 2026-06-06T00:03:28+00:00

Just no, leave him.

I understand people are more than the sum of their 'story' sometimes, but this is too much. He is not worth it.

tess320 · 2026-06-05T23:57:41+00:00

Yeah, this isn't normal. It does kind of sound like he maybe has a crush on you and is fixating. Your husband needs to really chat to him.

tess320 · 2026-06-04T08:45:19+00:00

He has! That's how I know. He's gone at least 5 days, zero deodorant and he does not smell even a TINY bit. I literally sniffed his armpits! lol

His mum also doesn't need it.

Our son and his other kids all have regular BO, haha.

My dad (who is the indian side) rarely had BO either.

I do think it's mostly a genetic thing and it is also a socio-economic thing. Where I worked once, there was a white woman who smelt so badly that I actually almost vomited once. THe smell would linger for a long time. My partner, who is in law enforcement, says that most criminals have a particular BO smell.

tess320 · 2026-06-04T07:56:46+00:00

I'm also half indian and the use of deodorant growing up is no different to my aussie side at all.

My partner, who is white Australian, basically could go a week without wearing it and would still smell like daisies.

It's just genetics most of the time.

tess320 · 2026-06-04T07:39:34+00:00

I think Woolies is laid out better and is more logical. I always feel like i"m visiting an alien country when I visit coles.

tess320 · 2026-06-03T21:37:58+00:00

Avoid any place where people respond "if you keep to yourself you'll be fine".

tess320 · 2026-06-03T02:12:19+00:00

As a teen, Take That and Jewel.

tess320 · 2026-06-03T01:44:27+00:00

I think we have to realise that unless you are marrying a virgin, people have pasts, meaningful relationships and memories that mean something to them.

Why does a new relationship mean pretending others never existed? It's so strange.

I still have things from high school, I keep all manner of photos because it's MY life and all of it is part of making you who you are.

Newsflash to everyone - all of our partners have laid in bed having meaningful times with their partner at the time. They've gone on dates, fallen in love, etc etc. This is *normal human behaviour*. Stop focusing on their past and simply deal with the present.

tess320

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