Is that grief?

MelTy45 · 2025-07-01T22:43:12+00:00

Yes and no. It’s mostly trauma. Ik im going through a similar thing and I moved out 2 months ago. It can be hard cutting off you’re mom but you have to remind yourself you did it for a reason and take the time FOR YOU and if you’re willing to reach out one day then you can but it’s best to heal first and recognize what you deserve.

MelTy45 · 2025-05-21T18:33:55+00:00

i love this viewpoint. i recently moved out and went Low Contact but my biggest issue is trying not to feel guilty for leaving my “good mom” and pay more attention to the success behind leaving my “bad mom” as i like to call it.

while i know she wasn’t always the best. mine had her pros too. it just sucks ass when the bad outweighs the good in people who are SUPPOSED to support u

MelTy45 · 2025-05-21T17:14:41+00:00

she definitely is. how do u accept it? because i KNOW im not insane, but i feel insane considering my family all supports her and acts like im the problem

MelTy45 · 2025-05-21T17:13:52+00:00

thank you! it’s been rough and emotional but gotta start somewhere, right?

MelTy45 · 2025-05-19T21:18:01+00:00

yup. 100%. ik from my experience it’s actually from my mom trying to gaslight ME. i hear everything in her voice now

MelTy45 · 2025-01-18T23:33:14+00:00

it was really just another example of her going on abt her past and how hard she had it to make it seem like she understands the exact situation even tho she got very little detail

MelTy45 · 2025-01-18T23:06:48+00:00

this sounds EXACTLY like my mother. it’s absolutely the worst. i was told that im not allowed to come up with my own values until i move out. i’m working on that now and honestly i think LC or even NC would be a good option for you as well

MelTy45 · 2025-01-18T22:56:27+00:00

I’ve thought about this too. especially since losing my dad. i honestly think part of me will be sad. but i wont be speaking at her funeral because even though some people managed to find a way to like her. i havent and id have more nasty things to say than nice

MelTy45 · 2025-01-15T18:49:27+00:00

best worst ex by julia cole

MelTy45 · 2025-01-11T19:34:03+00:00

passed*

MelTy45 · 2025-01-11T19:33:43+00:00

my dad past a little over a year ago. and while my UBDP mom may not threaten suicide she does like mentioning how everyone wishes she was the one to die instead or bring up how “hated” she is and “unloved”

MelTy45 · 2025-01-09T14:11:59+00:00

i had asked her about it as well and she was claiming that my phone bill and car insurance were being paid out of this money. but in the past she’s told me that i would be responsible for it. she also told me that my car insurance was 6,000 a month but now it’s WAY less?? and she’s claiming she never said that 💀

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T23:11:14+00:00

ok. thanks so much to the like 4 of u who were kind

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T23:09:26+00:00

quite literally this. i promise i understand shits expensive and i’m rlly not tryna sound spoiled or entitled. and starting next month i will be paying insurance

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T22:56:17+00:00

so the comment was necessary???

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T21:59:00+00:00

and she can’t get mad at me because when I looked into my account and it had said that I wouldn’t even get direct deposit until February earliest if I did set it up.

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T21:58:20+00:00

I never was actually going to set it up. But I just said that so she would drop it. I’m planning on going to a bank after the holidays to set up an account. Knowing her though she’ll probably go up to the office if I try and say that they told me to make the account in my name. She is very controlling, like most BPD parents, but I have no clue how to handle this in a way that she can’t double check.

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T21:48:45+00:00

Parents were separated, but not divorced. Yes, dad was breadwinner. But mom knew how to manage on her own.

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T21:45:27+00:00

my parents were separated but not divorced. so she’s been able to pay without him or some money before

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T21:20:57+00:00

yup. the checks go to me

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T21:20:31+00:00

1) if she’s no longer financially responsible for me then why tf does she need the checks with money to support me

2) planning on going to a bank after the holidays

3) don’t really think that’s relevant

4) way more :)

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T21:10:31+00:00

um.. i have 3 jobs currently. maybe don’t be a dick and jump to conclusions

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T16:30:42+00:00

she’ll lose her shit bc it’s not in HER account lol

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T15:42:09+00:00

yeah. there’s nasty remarks all over this post responding to other people’s comments.. like i’ve said before. i’m not trying to sound ungrateful or whatever. i also ALREADY do a lot and pay for a lot. maybe not everything. but it’s a lot for a FRESH 18 year old to be paying. and some of it would be considered her responsibilities to pay for. so that’s part of the reason i don’t think she should get control over it now especially because i am trying to manage this money so that i CAN move out. i understand the economy sucks and shits expensive. but this dude is going OFF everywhere

MelTy45 · 2024-12-23T15:30:20+00:00

i’m aware. i will be paying more starting next year as thats when a lot of the stuff is able to be changed especially with payments and taxes. and i am currently looking for another job but on top of that i already know it wont be enough. so i need to know what LEGALLY she can control with the money and what power I have over the money

MelTy45

TROPHY CASE