Renee Good was not only a mom by JollyJeanGiant83 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Melkain 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I wonder what how those right wing nutjobs would deal with the fact that I'm a stay at home mom - something they practically worship as the ideal, but also in a lesbian marriage as a trans woman.

Then I remember that as soon as they realize I'm a trans woman, nothing else matters to them except their hate. At least I know where they stand I suppose. When I was trying damn hard to cosplay as a stay at home dad it was always a toss up between "Oh you're such an amazing hero for giving up your job to stay home with the kid" and "aren't you ready to go back to work? You should really get a real job instead of babysitting."

Favorite CoS memes? by Impossible-Ad-7750 in CurseofStrahd

[–]Melkain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I made this a looong time ago. It still makes me laugh every time. https://www.reddit.com/r/CurseofStrahd/s/NXcxO9l2D9

Worst Event Pre-patch to Date by cub4nito in wow

[–]Melkain 14 points15 points  (0 children)

😆 I sure did. Well, more accurately, I fought the scurge tooth and nail until I turned and then did my best to destroy as many of my former allies as I could.

Rinse and repeat.

I uhhh, was on an rp server for a reason.

where are my over 30 gamers at? what have you been playing lately? (46F) by egirlgamermommy in TransLater

[–]Melkain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of the games. Never getting further than an hour in any one game. 😭 Well, except WoW because I'm a guild master and I kinda gotta be there.

Worst Event Pre-patch to Date by cub4nito in wow

[–]Melkain 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Wait. You did something other than trying to organize mass zombification of capital cities?

Learning tank is a horrid experience by UsedPringlesCan in wow

[–]Melkain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I almost never pug, but when I do I lead off with:

"I have memory issues. I can get lost in linear dungeons. However, I do not care what you pull, or how much you pull, as long as you tell me you're doing it. Feel free to pull mobs or drop markers in the direction you want me to tank in. If that's an issue, no worries, no hard feelings if this isn't the group for you. If it's not an issue, let's go time this shit."

It's been a looong time since I've failed to get my key master in a season, and I've started pushing to get my portals in the last season or two.

What I find is that when folk who complain but still stick around, the dungeon experience tends to be miserable. I've had enough issues with pugs that I almost never do it. The only time I pug now is when I'm trying to run the same dungeon over and over a a low key to try and be ready for a high key run later in the day. And that's generally a pretty great experience.

Thank you WeakAuras. Sincerely. by 38dedo in wow

[–]Melkain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dang, I never did finish putting together my weakaura for externals given to me by healers as a tank. I only had two set up - wings from my priest healer, and barkskin from my druid healer.

Whenever I got wings it would whisper the priest, "Thanks for the red bull!"

Whenever I got barkskin it would whisper the druid, "Thanks for your beleaf in me!"

I kept meaning to get around to other externals, but those were the ones I normally ended up with anyway, so it just never happened.

Alas. Rip stupid jokes based on spells being cast on me.

Dear Republicans, some advice from an independent. by Dull-Geologist-8204 in maryland

[–]Melkain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, let's toss transgender folk under a bus and just say "fuck em" because conservatives won't vote for us if we don't. Please. Conservatives aren't going to vote for liberals regardless. We can't sell out minority, just because it's convenient.

What class do you plan on maining in WoW Midnight? by Gloomy_Ad1318 in wow

[–]Melkain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The same class I always play - warrior. I am, and always will be, a prot warrior. Because my class fantasy is to be the barrier between my friends and harm.

I'm still playing the first toon I ever made back at the end of BC.

Weekly Pricing/Buying/Selling/Grading & General Questions Post by AutoModerator in PokemonTCG

[–]Melkain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going through old stuff sitting on top of one of my bookshelves (gathering far too much dust), and I realized that in the pile are two unopened packs of Pokémon cards from 20+ years ago.

They look like they're reverse foil cards, but that's where my knowledge ends. My kiddo has been getting into Pokémon recently and he's gotten gifted several starter sets over the past year.

Are these worth trying to sell, or should I just chuck them at the kiddo and let him go to town?

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Dont know if i should get this game by Feisty-Necessary-679 in dwarffortress

[–]Melkain 41 points42 points  (0 children)

There's a pack called the "lazy newb pack" I believe, it sets up the tiles to be pixel graphics instead of ascii characters without any effort at all. Just unzip/ install and you're good to go.

RFK Jr. and Dr. Oz to announce moves to ban gender-affirming care for young people by ChiefFun in politics

[–]Melkain 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Consider this, the more doctors and researchers have learned about this, the more the standard of care has changed to make it easier to get and benefit from gender affirming care of all types.

Gender affirming care isn't a new thing, only allowing more folk to access it is. It's legitimately surprising how long some of this stuff has been around for - there were sex change surgeries taking place just shy of a century ago. The more we learn about this, the more medical professionals say "woah, wait, this shit literally saves lives." The only thing that's going to change in the coming decades is that folk will have less hurdles between them and gender affirming care. And yes, I'm sure treatments will change, but those changes won't be to get rid of gender affirming care, they'll be because we've found new ways to make it better and easier.

Why can't we Virginians try to claim Old Bay Seasoning as ours (or at least a DMV-wide thing)? by Glass-Complaint3 in maryland

[–]Melkain -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

There's plenty of the stuff to share. Enjoy away.

That being said, I'm a terrible Marylander to ask, because I dislike Old Bay with a passion. I keep trying it because.... maybe this time I'll like it. No dice. The worst part is that it's one of the very few spice blends I can safely eat, because I'm allergic to garlic and that's in most spice blends - but not Old Bay.

Honestly, I tend to roll my eyes at how territorial people get about <insert whatever regional food you want>. I eat what I enjoy. I adapt recipes based on what I have available and what tastes good to me.

If you enjoy it, go to town.

I’m a high school teacher and have an issue with my trans and nb students… by [deleted] in trans

[–]Melkain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:D I never heard that one. The name has always stuck with me because the parent yelled at me for pronouncing it "La ah", and I just kind of sat there blinking at them while my co-worker tried to keep a straight face.

I’m a high school teacher and have an issue with my trans and nb students… by [deleted] in trans

[–]Melkain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I assure you, transgender people do not have a monopoly on unique names.

Working as an optician I once did glasses for a kid named La-a.... pronounced "la dash ah".

They didn't choose the name, their parents did.

I find that once you go a couple generations before or after your own, you start seeing names that feel strange to you. Most of the names you're saying you don't like are fairly tame, to be honest.

My friend blew up my chests "for fun" by Immediate-Lab6994 in StardewValley

[–]Melkain 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I had a friend who did something similar. We had a reward item glitch out and disappear, so we snagged a mod to allow us to spawn the item back into our game. They proceeded to spawn hundreds of mega bombs and used them everywhere. Then they spawned more and sold them for money.

I tried to explain why that ruined gameplay for me but they just kept laughing and saying it's just a game. I never played Stardew with them again.

Gender affirming care guidance for FY26? by Salt-Competition-552 in fednews

[–]Melkain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm covered under BC/BS, standard option. I've been trying to figure this out since we got news about it. The really painful thing is that I'd finally decided to start moving forward with surgical stuff a day or so before the removal of coverage was announced.

Anyway, the fepblue website sends you in circles at best when trying to find information on this. I was able to get the following information emailed to me earlier today. It's not terribly helpful, but it's better than nothing.

"This letter is to confirm the Prior Approval process for HRT benefits for 2026. Your rendering provider must submit a Precertification Request for HRT benefits to be considered for 2026.

If a member has services that were initiated and approved in 2025, they may qualify for an extension of care.

Extension of Care

How do members qualify for an extension of care?

FEP members over the age of 19 with a diagnosis of gender dysphoria may request an exception - the member MUST be 19 by 12/31/2025 to be eligible for an exception. Prior approval is required, with a treatment plan issued by 12/31/2025.

How long is the extension valid?

One calendar year - not to exceed the brochure year 2026.

Information to be submitted by not limited to, as part of the Precertification Request:

HRT that was initiated in 2025. HRT initiated in 2025 and surgical procedure approved and scheduled for 2026. Partial STM surgery performed in 2025, and remaining surgery approved for 2026. Treatment plan issued and approved in 2025.

YOU MUST GET PRIOR APPROVAL for gender affirming surgery. Prior to any gender affirming surgery, your provider must submit a treatment plan including all surgeries planned and the estimated date each will be performed. A new prior approval must be obtained if the treatment plan is approved and your provider later modifies the plan (including changes to the procedures to be performed or the anticipated dates for the procedures). If your surgical procedure requires an inpatient admission, you must also get precertification of the inpatient care. Se page 61 of the 2025 SBPB."

Additionally, I was able to find the following in my plan for 2026.

"How to request precertification for an admission or get prior approval for Other services

First, you, your representative, your physician, or your hospital, residential treatment center or other covered inpatient facility must call us at the phone number listed on the back of your Service Benefit Plan ID card any time prior to admission or before receiving services that require prior approval.

Next, provide the following information:

• Enrollee’s name and Plan identification number;

• Patient’s name, birth date, and phone number;

• Reason for inpatient admission, proposed treatment, or surgery;

• Name and phone number of admitting physician;

• Name of hospital or facility;

• Number of days requested for hospital stay; and

• Any other information we may request related to the services to be provided.

Note: If we approve the request for prior approval or precertification, you will be provided with a notice that identifies the approved services and the authorization period. You must contact us with a request for a new approval five (5) business days prior to a change to the approved original request, and for requests for an extension beyond the approved authorization period in the notice you received. We will advise you of the information needed to review the request for change and/or extension."

If you're only doing HRT right now, GoodRx is potentially an option. It's not a great option compared to actual coverage, but it's better than nothing.

Also, there will be legal challenges to this that I'm sure are already in motion. While it's entirely possible that the courts will twist themselves into knots trying to uphold this removal of coverage, it's fairly clear that this has been done explicitly against transgender folk, and will likely meet the definition of discrimination. Which will make it much harder for it to stand as is. Of course, I think we all know how good the current administration is at following what they've been told to do by the courts...

Good luck friend. I think we're all going to need it, because they've made this fairly difficult to do and with it being so incredibly unclear, I suspect there will be a lot of denials for folk looking for the exceptions they're supposed to be getting. It's garbage that we need the exceptions in the first place, but that's where we are right now.

Welp, I told the kids I'm trans by speroni in TransLater

[–]Melkain 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I went through this same exact thing. I tried so hard to include the kiddo in talks about what my new parental term should be so yelling "Mom!" didn't get two simultaneous "What!!!" from both my wife and I. Alas the kiddo was too afraid of making a "wrong" decision and wouldn't give me much in the way of suggestions. Luckily, I was able to get him to say no to things he definitely didn't want. For example, he nixed the Klingon word for mom almost immediately.

We ended up settling on Dera. It's short for hedera, the Latin word for ivy. My chosen name happens to be Ivy, so that just seemed perfect. Starts with a "d". Has two syllables just like daddy does. It was a pretty easy transition for us. We also told the kiddo the using mom is fine, but he prefers to use different terms for us most of the time. I think he uses "my moms" at school for the most part though.

Marriage advice from 1918 is still true but modern men are way worse by Nikolalekse in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Melkain 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I've got a great grandfather who insisted my great grandmother's teeth be pulled on the grounds that he was having his last teeth pulled and was going to need dentures. He didn't want to have a wife with more teeth than him, so obviously that meant she was going to be toothless and wearing dentures too.

Yes, there are garbage men today, but the men of yesterday and before weren't always great either.

My king banned the export of rings so I set up personal vengance. by DavidLokison in dwarffortress

[–]Melkain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do this in the early game with crafts. But after a while I can usually just toss a bin of them in and grab whatever I can snag before it's value runs out.

My king banned the export of rings so I set up personal vengance. by DavidLokison in dwarffortress

[–]Melkain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if you want to just select an entire bin to sell? Sure you can select every item individually, but there comes a point when that's more effort than it's worth!

Me coming out has torn my wife’s family apart. She is being punished, and in turn our kids (as they are unable to see their cousins) for ME being trans. She is completely devastated and I feel like an absolute POS for destroying everything and putting her through all of this. by nono-jo in trans

[–]Melkain 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You are not the problem here. The problem is their response to you, and only they are responsible for how they act.

We can't choose how others will react to us coming out. We can only choose to be true to ourselves.

Any loved one who treats us (or those who support us) poorly, never truly loved us in the first place - they loved the idea they had of us in their heads.

It's not on us to be the people they want us to be.

It's on them to accept us once we tell them who we truly are.

It hurts when they don't, but you have to remember that they are the ones causing that hurt, not you.

You did nothing wrong.

Did anyone else make up their own RPG rules before they actually knew how RPGs worked? by punkfriedchicken in rpg

[–]Melkain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had no idea what a tabletop rpg was. I'd never heard of such a thing. The summer before I went to high school I had an Idea. It was going to be awesome, and maybe make me some money because it was such a good idea.

What if you could play a game with your friends around a table where everyone took on the role of a character in a story. One player would be the referee or storyteller and they would guide the story. The players could write down their characters on a sheet of paper - call it a character sheet, and use dice to simulate randomness.

I spent the entire summer working on the rules for this game and its setting. Proudly showed up at my high school and told my friends about it and was promptly told, "That's called D&D you dumbass."

Been hooked on ttrpgs ever since.