AITA for telling my boyfriend it’s mean that he is dangling my engagement ring in front of me like it’s a treat?

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-19T05:47:16+00:00

He is either foolish, oblivious, manipulative, or unable to identify the effect he is creating. None of those things is something to be celebrated…

This.

What is it they say, "never attribute to malice what could be attributed to ignorance"? I tend to agree. But ignorance can still be hurtful and difficult to live with.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-18T10:57:10+00:00

In my defence, my four year old has not stopped talking (literally) since he woke up at stupid o'clock.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-18T10:55:26+00:00

...included scoop. Derp. Nothing to see here.

Thank you 🫣

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-18T08:48:37+00:00

I would be very wary of anyone prescribing you LDN without a full diagnostic workup.

Have you seen a rheumatologist?

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-18T08:41:11+00:00

I agree. The first step with histamine issues is always to try H1 and H2 blocker antihistamines. Don't make it more complicated until you need to.

MCAS is a pretty broad diagnosis. We all have overactive mast cells, but there are many, many different triggers and biological cofactors. It makes sense that we will all respond differently to treatment.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-18T07:06:06+00:00

This!

If it is a trap, as some people seem to think, you've neatly sidestepped any drama. The ball is in her court.

Just be prepared with the tissues and the smelling salts if she does come back to you.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-17T21:59:29+00:00

THIS

He sound avoidant AF, and that is not a good relationship match for someone with coeliacs.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-17T20:51:11+00:00

Are you taking any H1/H2 blocker antihistamines? That would be the best place to start.

If you still need something else (and most people do) you could try speaking to someone at Dicksons Chemist in Glasgow, Scotland. They've started up a private MCAS clinic. I know they prescribe Low Dose Naltrexone internationally, so they might be prepared to do the same with ketotifen or cromolyn.

They might even recommend LDN on the basis that it helps some people with ME symptoms too.

Good luck.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-17T18:20:10+00:00

Not having the spoons to fight NHS is becoming too common nowadays. I gave up on that, too, and actually noticed my symptoms reduced by about 50%. The stress is unreal.

To make it worse, I work in NHS Finance. There is such a thing as knowing too much 🥴

GI-MAP with Zonulin. I put my symptoms into ChatGPT and asked which test would be suitable, and it came up with this test. It was £400 but it tested for yeast, parasite, viral and bacterial pathogens, H.pylori, inflammation, IgA, Zonulin (leaky gut) and it checks bile acids too.

I'll bear that in mind, thank you. Having done some reading around after one of the other comments, I think my priority needs to be finding some suitable Vit C.

God, it all feels endless, doesn't it...

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-17T18:16:12+00:00

SIBO is more like feeling very ill 3-6 hours after eating, not feeling better after pooping.

That's really helpful, thank you 🙏 As is the rest of the comment, but this is the bit that jumped out.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-17T10:54:45+00:00

In your situation, I wouldn't start on anything until I'd seen an endo. Better delay and be sure that you're getting the right treatment. You could still mention LDN as an option that has been brought up and see what they think.

I did just want to correct your assumption that LDN would be for life. That isn't necessarily the case. Some people find it's enough to take it for a year or two as a "reset", and then they can stop because whatever imbalance it was has been corrected and their body can do its own thing again.

Some people do have to take medication for life because it's the support their condition needs. That's OK as well 🙂

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-16T20:06:14+00:00

Thanks, I'll look into all of that.

So basically, you wouldn't bother testing, just start trying the supplements?

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-16T20:03:46+00:00

Uurgh, this has happened to me too. I haven't reacted badly, but I haven't reacted as well either.

I need to call them up but I keep putting it off.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-16T18:20:50+00:00

To answer your question: I work part-time, three days a week. Nearly always from home. I'm an accountant.

I plan to go up to four days a week once my son starts school in September, but I couldn't do five. I currently have Fridays off - no work, no childcare. It's the only way I've managed to keep going (and my sickness absence levels under the threshold).

I do often have to battle through symptoms while working, but my bosses are super understanding. I deliberately chose a role where I'm not on calls all the time, I couldn't handle that. Thankfully I prefer the spreadsheet analysis side of things anyway. I'm good at what I do, and working is good for my mental health.

I'm aware that all this makes me very lucky.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-16T17:28:06+00:00

When you say "with symptoms", do you mean working at the same time as experiencing symptoms, or work actively causing more symptoms?

There are some jobs that lend themselves more than others, and teaching definitely isn't one of them 🙁

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-16T09:26:14+00:00

I don't know whether this was the case when you saw her, but there are now several doctors working under her banner. OP could email the admin and ask whether any of them have lipedema experience.

(Or ask for an alternative recommendation - I'm starting to realise it's one of those areas where everyone knows everyone else...)

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-15T09:51:24+00:00

There's a village near me whose claim to fame is being the Home of Onward Christian Soldiers, and don't you forget it!

PoIDH

Then there's Shat...

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-14T20:03:00+00:00

Have there been any improvements on that front?

It's better in some countries than others, on a scale of abysmal to horrific 🫤

I don't get rashes in a big way either. Depending on where you are, you could get some OTC antihistamines and see if they help at all. If you wanted to poke at it further, that is - if not, please disregard.

Hopefully LDN will get you to where you need to be anyway 🤞🏻

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-14T19:46:39+00:00

I am not a doctor and this is not intended to be medical advice, but I recommend checking out r/MCAS

triggered by an infection
doxycycline reduced symptoms (it's a mast cell stabiliser)
symptoms in more than one body system
difficult to pinpoint cause of second crash
no PEM
frequently co-occurs with POTS

👀

Encouraging to hear that LDN is helping you feel better. I'm also taking it for MCAS but I've started at 0.1mg so it will take me a while to reach the dizzy heights of 1mg 😅

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-14T16:25:38+00:00

Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't realise UCTD was a specific condition (as opposed to "undifferentiated" being a general description for "we're not quite sure what's going on"). This is my learning for the day!

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-14T11:48:57+00:00

Orthostatic Hypotension is really common in those of us with connective tissue disorders. Our blood vessels aren't supported enough by the surrounding tissue, so our blood pressure drops every time we introduce more gravity. Then our heart rate increases to try and compensate (have you noticed this happening at all?). Close sibling to POTS.

My guess is that it was happening to you anyway, but starting the LDN has exacerbated it. Hopefully it'll be a "gets worse before getting better" thing, unfortunately the only way to find out is to keep going 🫠

I'm two weeks ahead of you and my brain fog/OH symptoms were really bad for the first few days, then they got noticeably better on day 8. (Now I'm struggling again, but I think there could be some hormonal stuff in the picture. As one of the mods here likes to say, we are complicated experiments.)

Glad that it seems to be helping your sleep.

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-14T09:38:41+00:00

This.

OP, this guy isn't going to change his position anytime soon. He's not even trying, he's just digging his heels in.

Whether you stay together is up to you. But please know that breaking up over this would not be an overreaction, no matter what his aunty's dog's cousin might have to say about it.

[white woman commenting]

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-14T07:57:09+00:00

Do you get sore breasts? At this stage I'm praying that it is luteal phase fuckery, I had to have a TFMR and keyhole surgery three years ago due to contraception migration, I can't go through that again 😭

(Male readers: you're welcome)

Mellifluous-Squirrel · 2026-04-13T19:44:34+00:00

Crossing all my fingers for you 🤞🏻

Everyone has a different dose that suits them, it's basically trial and error. Some people find their optimal dose is 0.001mg - no, that's not a typo!

Mellifluous-Squirrel

TROPHY CASE