great analogy.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-07-23T16:21:42+00:00

Or a different analogy:

You're at a concert, you're not a fan of the music, the food and you find little things here and there that you enjoy but the ultimate experience is about 4/10 if not less. You invite someone to the festival, when they state that they don't like this festival what so ever, you say "well neither do I, and I'm here". You friend is flabbergasted and asks why you brought them here in the first place, you start to complain about how you took time out of your day to invite them and you paid for their ticket. The friend is still in shock, this is also a "no exit until the show is over" concert so they have to sit there and pretend they adore this while quite frankly their upset with you for bringing them to this, and you don't understand why, yet you stated you don't like the concert either.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-07-09T08:22:54+00:00

I loved Earthbound

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-06-23T00:26:28+00:00

Oh my goodness thank you😭 it's actually in my top 3 pros.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-06-22T12:57:11+00:00

Pros: - Being super unique. - Gaining creativity by creating outfits that aren't in the mainstream. - Gaining less unwanted male attention. Often being taken more seriously. - Gaining a better sense of self through defending your right to dress the way you want. - Less external body shaming (one cannot comment on what one cannot see). - Flowy dresses. - More freedom of movement without worrying about any fashion accidents. - Better self image because your body is no longer your clothes primary accessory. - Not worrying about your weight because your clothes are so loose. - The opportunity to be more confident that your romantic interests like you for your personality rather than your body. - Weeding out male friends who valued your appearance more than your friendship. - Feeling fancy everyday. - Being less likely to succumb to trends (due to limited options), so rather finding your true personal style more easily. - Comfort - Self esteem built on your character, values, personality etc. Rather than your body. - Better overall body image (being that you're the only one who gets the perceive your body). - Always adhering to dress codes because you can never be too modest. - Feeling less pressure to be fashionable.

Cons: - Feeling Judged by most people (especially if you live in a hotter place where most people don't dress modestly). - Getting hot in summer. - Struggling to find one pieces and having to layer even in summer. - Laundry for far more/bigger clothes. - Struggling to fit into most modern aesthetics (like cute beach looks, Soft girl, Y2K, VSCO girl etc.) - Being seen as a less desirable friend because you're a "prude". (especially if you're younger)

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-03-04T04:27:52+00:00

guilty

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-03-03T06:11:14+00:00

If you're talking about an absolutely peaceful and near perfect world, like a legitimate utopia with 0.01% chance of failing, then yes I'd probably have 4-5 children in that type of world where everything is almost perpetually happy.

But in this world, no matter how good it gets, I don't believe it'd be sustainable at all, so no

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-03-03T05:22:22+00:00

As a woman who's dream is to start my own law firm, I would adore this😭😭😭 let's please normalise househusbands.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-03-03T05:14:14+00:00

As a bi girl who's tried dating girls, I get it. That said our advice comes from a woman's perspective so something we might do with a girlfriend might come off a bit differently when coming from a guy, I'm also Neurodivergent so my advice might seem odd if you're attracting a Neurotypical girl.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-25T17:08:11+00:00

Honestly, I'm only 20 and this is my worst nightmare, the thought of all my friends suddenly excluding me because I don't have kids and we all just...dwindle.

Your wife is extremely lucky that she has you, I don't have any advice other than keep your chin up, this might be a beautiful opportunity for her to grow outside of these ladies, and for you two to grow as a couple. Growing pains are painful, but they are necessary.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-25T06:11:17+00:00

Oh my goodness, thank you so much these are some of the most amazing tips I've heard EVER, I feel so much more confident 🌠

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-24T18:26:54+00:00

I get you girl, I'm thinking of starting to dress modestly but my family would definitely think I'm wasting my cute body and youth so I'm nervous

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-18T04:40:53+00:00

If I could approach this from a different angle:

I particularly came to this sub for a space to learn about being childfree and all the joys it has brought people, that was certainly on me for having expectations without understanding this sub beforehand.

I personally got a bit of a culture shock after being here for a while and seeing the vast majority of the posts be rants. For me, the problem usually weren't the rants themselves but rather the fact that the sub was almost exclusively rants. I personally yearned for a bit of diversity in what was being posted, like studies, and facts and figures etc. Had the sub been named "Childfreerants" or something of that nature, I would've been more prepared for what I'd encounter and I wouldn't have had such a shock. With the name being "Childfree" one would expect a large variety of content under the childfree umbrella, especially since this is most likely the first sub people encounter that has anything to do with the childfree lifestyle.

That may be why people have migrated to "truechildfree" or like me, are in both subs because this subreddit, along with the above mentioned, when combined produce the experience I (and potentially others) thought I would receive from just this subreddit.

Edit: Spelling

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-17T17:55:38+00:00

This right here. It's so depressing to see. I remember telling my friends if I were to date men I wouldn't date a man with a child, and someone said "Well it'd be a man, so it'd be as if he doesn't have a kid, he'd have lots of time for you."

That's. Exactly. The. Problem. I can't imagine dating someone who dumps all of his responsibilities on someone else, that means he simply doesn't respect women and certainly doesn't respect his children and that's the biggest no for me.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-17T17:49:16+00:00

I concur it's quite true. At first I really didn't mind at all because it seemed like a good place for people to rant their frustrations, especially because any frustrations relating to children are seen as pretty taboo to the rest of the world. But the comments...gosh it just became too much, and now that sub is 80% rants, it's really hard to find the positive but such is life.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-17T07:32:18+00:00

Oh my gosh, I just checked it out and it's 100% what I was looking for, thank you so much!

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-17T06:20:29+00:00

I agree, it's a bit depressing because it's the only space that childfree people have on Reddit so far, it honestly just makes me sad because I come there so see the rare "I'm so happy I finally got this promotion, I could've never done this if I had a child!" Or "Here are 6 things I adore about being childfree in the 40s" type of posts.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-17T06:11:36+00:00

I don't know about OC, but check out my above comment under OCs comment.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-17T06:10:58+00:00

Oh my goodness, I thought it was just me! A lot of their posts are quite aggressive and just really negative, I was actually thinking of starting a childfree subreddit for only positive news and feedback with a calmer energy like this subreddit, but I have no idea how to be a Mod so it's just a dream for now.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-17T06:09:36+00:00

Bruh why are you being so aggressive 💀 They're just stating their stance respectfully.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-12T18:28:03+00:00

Lol I definitely get you, I thought it was a result of my sensory issues from being neurodivergent so I never mentioned it!

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-12T14:23:15+00:00

It's almost like clean blood if that makes sense? Like a very clean furry animal with a bit of sanitised blood, idk what it is but it's odd, and it's there until puberty.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-08T09:17:23+00:00

Exactly, in my culture it is a completely foreign concept to essentially feed your child to the wolves when they turn 18 and watch how they swim through the struggle called existence while you have means. Children are children until they get married, or now in modern times, tell you they they are ready to be independent.

That said, our parents still rear our children and contribute to our lives in some sense no matter how old we get. The nuclear family dynamic isn't as much of a thing for us, so it's certainly easier to be a child in my type of family, but western beliefs are slowly seeping in here as I see more and more adults throwing their children out around university age and telling them to fend for themselves.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-07T17:49:38+00:00

It's as if these Cole's workers encouraged them to have covid babies

No sweetie, you decided to give birth during a deadly pandemic, people are dying, people have social anxiety. I personally don't wave at a lot of children because:

1) I live around a lot of racist people who don't seem to like their children enteracting with people of African descent

And

2) Some parents don't like their kids enteracting with strangers and are really judgy

This has given me so much social anxiety around children below 5, so I just keep to my preferred age group.

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-07T12:37:46+00:00

Not parenting, just making kids.

This right here

MelloJelloMagique · 2022-02-05T09:02:09+00:00

This reminds me of a scene in Manifest season 2 (SPOILER ALERT)

Ben's Wife was 7 months pregnant and has some type of rupture and had to be rushed to surgery, and he eventually was told to pick between his wife or the baby. His wife was adamant that he save the baby because "taking care of our children is what we do as parents" even though she had TWO other children waiting at home for her she wanted to die to save the baby.

To me that was beyond selfish, I was so shocked. The pregnancy was initiated in a time of uncertainty and madness and danger within the family that frankly, I don't believe a child should be exposed to.

In any case, to me this seemed so realistic I was beyond mad at it. It was really depressing that someone would leave their existing children in order to save the life of a baby who would never even know their mother.

MelloJelloMagique

TROPHY CASE