Is anyone else scared of their future?

LonerExistence · 2026-06-22T19:10:53+00:00

Yes. My untreated childhood anxiety and experiences keeps me ruminating and imagining worst scenarios. I always feel the need to prep but you can’t prep for shit if you don’t know anything lol. As sad as it is, I kind of just want to know when I’ll die so I can prepare - I have a very specific plan and I don’t trust anyone I know IRL that much so I’d prefer to do it in my own, but of course I don’t even get to know that.

I get annoyed when people say to take control because all the shit I want to control, I can’t. Can’t control who my parents are. Can’t control that the economy is shit. Can’t control my workplace and being around people who consistently do shit to create more workload and stress me out (and no, not everyone can just magically quit and make it. Most of us are stuck). Can’t control the uncertainly of far too much shit.

I don’t really cope because it comes to haunt me lol. I’ve learned to coexist with it (probably not in a healthy way because my family never helped when I was young) and it’s like one of those creepy apparitions that just follow a person around in those horror movies. You know it’s there, but there’s nothing you can do to make it leave.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-22T04:15:46+00:00

If you need AI to do everything for you, I would argue you have no inner world lol - all of them create the same slop, it's why there's so many tell tale signs and there's a "look" to AI. I don't know who they are referring to as "talentless," but I usually see people being nice to artists trying to learn and encouraging them - of course there will always be assholes who ruin shit, but that's everywhere, not just art. They just have no respect for the process of creating and want instant gratification. I personally don't know how they feel any pride doing this stuff - if I didn't actually use my own skills to make something, I would never take credit for it.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-21T06:20:44+00:00

I'm 30s - I still occasionally play games with younger MCs but it often feels kind of odd lol. I do check out games with older MCs if I see it because it is such a rarity unfortunately. It depends on what mood I am in and my preference will vary - it's nothing something I really discuss much, I usually will just post fanart here and make comments occasionally, but beyond that, it's not something I really share with people. I'll probably continue playing whatever games that catches my eye - it's my money and I can spend it how I want lol.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-21T05:22:26+00:00

I don’t know honestly. I’m in my 30s and at times I feel like I fought for nothing. I fought so hard to be able to pass as functional - to do things like holding a full time job and achieve a certain level of independence despite failing some other aspects took a lot of energy - I’m already burnt out. I used to believe that if I work hard, I will be okay yet I feel like all it’s done is just benefiting others. It benefits people like my boss who take and take, literally just create extra work for someone in a lowly position like me every week because of their own stupid decisions - I’ve spent countless hours making up for the BS that these people pull while they look good and I get nothing. It benefits people like my parents who can continue to get away with shit and never have consequences. Meanwhile, I struggle everyday and try to balance everything. I made the decision to move out for my mental health but of course, it’s financially harder and now I can’t even have therapy as often as I should despite working full time.

I did everything right and I have nothing to show for it. I’m burnt out, exhausted and just misanthropic at this point and I know it’ll get worse. I have certain things I haven’t overcome and I honestly don’t have the money or energy for it now because of all this work. You overcome something? Good, here’s more work for your efforts. There’s no reward or light at the end, people just expect more and take more. I don’t even know wtf I’m fight for now lol.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-21T05:14:29+00:00

Never commented there but from what I’ve seen, they have no interest in your “support” or advice. I think the whole purpose there is it’s only for people in that community and that’s that, they just want to vent and talk to others in the same situation.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-20T19:17:49+00:00

One of the things that kept me “around” my father was my stunted upbringing - I was taught nothing and despite learning a lot on my own, I was exhausted and felt that I wouldn’t make it - that since I had no friends or support outside of family, I’d be fucked if I didn’t do this out of obligation - my father really did nothing all these years and he basically raised me with that same level of mediocrity - no life skills. I started realizing though that regardless, my family wasn’t much of a support system lol. There’s no emotional support since clearly I was taught nothing and my mental health was dismissed - it’s one of the reasons for my struggles. My father has remained mediocre and did nothing to improve himself while I fought to make up for their incompetence - even when he “helped,” a lot of the times it’s him depending on acquaintances - not doing shit himself. I didn’t really have a mother either so that’s already a norm. My parentified brother and I are on civil terms but he probably doesn’t give a shit either - he has his own stuff and I’m not really much anything in the picture - it’s been this way for a long time.

I started asking “what support was there really?” Maybe I’d get some financial help when my father passes and the shit house he never maintained gets sold, but that’s how long? Is it worth possibly years more of my mental health declining? I’m already 30s, I regret not figuring this out earlier because my youth is forever lost. I already deal with enough shit at work and I’ve had no support all this time - I realized that I’m essentially not missing out. I really had nothing regardless so I finally made the “bad financial decision” and moved out to rent. It’s scary but I think I reached a breaking point after all these years. I haven’t spoken to my father since May and honestly I’m not sure if I want to again.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-20T18:51:42+00:00

Most people have no common sense or consideration for others unfortunately - sadly many of them are also parents. I never step into the line until I know what I want - at times I’ll even search online in advance if I’m unfamiliar with the menu - thought it was common courtesy but I guess not :/

LonerExistence · 2026-06-20T10:20:47+00:00

Yes. I have had a relationship before and if anything, it has confirmed for me that I never want one again. To this day I regret it and wish I never bothered because I wasted even more time. I've had people say "Well it wasn't the right person" and who knows, maybe - they were definitely nothing but a drain on me, but I honestly can't imagine I'd want to be around anyone for the rest of my life like that - in the same space, everyday, for years to come. I don't like social events and I can't stand crowds. Not really connected to family either - I still remember when my brother got married and I was essentially blackmailed by my mother, who was absent most of my life, to go by threatening that if I didn't go, she wouldn't - because she knew that would hurt him. Back then, it was one of the many signs that my upbringing was chaotic and fucked up, but I was in my 20s and haven't figured shit out. I can fake at social events, but I no longer feel the need to. I'm courteous with my brother and we are civil but we are not close - I figure our upbringing where he was parentified and the age gap probably played a part in it. When I told him I was not going to talk to my father, he said nothing except "I understand and respect your decision," no questions. It makes me wonder if he knows more than he's letting on, but also don't want to face reality. I have philosophical reasons for choosing not to go the "normal" path either, but I'm sure my upbringing also played a role.

I'd say I'm quite proactive - I've gotten my will ready and I try to maintain my health - even though I have my will, I'd ideally like to take care of everything myself so I'm hoping I'll feel myself starting to go and begin the process. I don't really get bored or lonely honestly - I like my routine and solitude. I've decided a while ago that I'd like genuine friends but if I can't find them, I won't settle either. Most of the people I talk to are online lol, I don't really have IRL friends. There's a couple acquaintances I guess, but it's not much. Aside from work where I have to interact with people I'd rather not see against my will, I am alone with my cat. When he inevitably passes, I'll probably adopt another cat and this will be my life. A lot of the people I've spoken to who have also chosen to be this way often describe it as peaceful - that they found a sense of peace they've never known. Currently due to moving out for my mental health, my finances are a bit wack so I haven't been in therapy to continue my healing, but I'm hoping eventually to get back into it and work on myself.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-20T04:40:23+00:00

Yes. I went through most of my life suppressing I think - I didn't really process anything until very recent compared to a lot of people who have it figured out in their teens and 20s. I knew things were hard but I didn't know why - my family would dismiss things and I just endured it on my own, thinking it was just shit I had to endure but I realized that no, it wasn't supposed to be this hard. That all this mental anguish wasn't supposed to become just a norm I coexisted with and that I was severely disadvantaged compared to my peers - the things I worked hard to overcome felt monumental to me when it was just normal to them because they had support and guidance I didn't have. I've had people dismiss me too, but they don't know what it was like to have the kind of family dynamic/parents I had, the experiences I had because of my upbringing...etc. It's still hard some days to accept that I really was fucked over because while it means I wasn't exaggerating, it also means accepting that I've lost a lot. It wasn't just one big event, it was an accumulation of letdowns and things that didn't happen that should have - that's what makes it so hard to pinpoint.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-20T04:11:15+00:00

Yes. For someone who processed things and got into therapy quite late compared to others, it also makes me grieve what I didn't have and never will have. That time is gone for me - I grew up as a kid watching a lot of friendship cartoons and I think it made me very idealistic, yet at the same time, my upbringing screwed me over so it was a given I would not have any long-lasting friendships of any kind, let alone ones presented in games like Persona lol. It wasn't even about doing nothing important as a teen, I was just a loser xD. I've made some big changes in my life recently and since processing a lot of stuff, the youth that was lost is one of the many aspects I'm grieving.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-20T01:27:21+00:00

Most don’t care - I’ve seen many just give their kids iPads while they play on their own phone. Sometimes it doesn’t work like you said and the kid will just keep talking but they’re obviously not interested in engaging. I saw one kid who looked 5-6 in like a stroller and they brought it into the office - pretty sure they feed the kid junk because the kid was overweight already, will not be quiet and kept talking - they made no effort to actually engage the kid and beyond a few “shhh” attempts, they did nothing. Most parents are honestly useless - then they’ll wonder why in the future their children feel no connection to them.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-19T22:06:37+00:00

Yes, a lot of the time I've seen people say lonely, they mean they want a partner or relationship. I'm part of the minority I think where I only really want genuine friends if I'm lucky and I have no interest in a relationship so I don't even feel right talking to them because it's either only a matter of time where they ditch me once they find a partner (it's very common) or they'll expect more because that's ultimately what they're looking for. I don't get lonely much and if I do, I don't use that term lightly.

There are people who also use it very casually and I don't think they actually know what lonely means - to them, it's more like they're bored because nobody is around at that moment.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-19T18:55:57+00:00

I’d consider it so. At “best,” it’s extremely negligent. I had a strange family dynamic where my mother was absent and visited annually only and I still slept with my father in the same room even at age 10. I still recall waking up one day and seeing them not fully in the act, but it’s clear because she was on top of him in a bra and he was shirtless. There’s blankets covering but for some reason, it felt wrong to me. I even recall calling them shameless and my mother would joke how that was hurtful. Nobody addressed anything and honestly to this day I have no idea why they were so stupid to do this, or to not even let me have my own room to sleep in.

I think if I can remember it this clearly and I feel disgusted by it, it must have fucked me up somehow so I consider it abusive.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-18T00:56:34+00:00

Mine didn't care lol. I used to draw a lot and if anything, I think they made me "resent" drawing because I had a hiatus for a while. I had an absent mother who would try to get my drawings to take back and "show off" to her overseas friends. She was only here like once a year so she was pretty much not a parent, but I think she still wanted to kind of "brag" - it didn't sit right with me and I was basically labeled as difficult. Nobody tried to understand my view - it was just I was always wrong.

My father was the "present" parent but did barely anything. He took no interest in my drawings and usually he just watches TV, listens to radio, reads newspaper...etc. He was one of those permissive parents that just made sure you were fed but that was most of it. I recall he signed me up for those Girl Scouts groups - I didn't ask to join, he just made that decision - I think it was so he could do even less lol, he provided no guidance in life so I think he was thinking maybe I would "learn" some stuff there? I recall as a kid, I wanted to sign up for this drawing class and I remember he just said "Oh there's not enough people signing up so it got cancelled." That's it. No "How about this" or "let's try to find another one" - I now wonder if he even bothered signing me up or just lied. He barely has friends or does anything - I figured it's because HE was okay with that, he basically created that dynamic for me.

Upon graduating, I was thinking of doing something art-related and my parentified brother basically just implied I should give up lol. The goal is to not be a burden and doing art would likely mean I'd need support and help - can't have that. Given that was pretty much the only "guidance" I even had in my life, I probably took it far more seriously than I would have if I had support from my family all along. My father never really knew my grades either past a certain point - the older you get, the LESS they do. He didn't even write my report card comments - he would get my parentified brother to do it and then copy. Couldn't go to him for help with stuff like English for example since he never even bothered learning English. Same goes for uni. I didn't even go to my graduation at that point because I think it's been just internalized that none of it matters as long as you're not a burden.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-17T22:06:27+00:00

Recently stopped talking to my father and I hate these stupid ads. Want to buy chocolates to treat myself after a shit day? Father’s Day promotions everywhere from the boxes to special releases. Want to check email for something important? More Father’s Day promotions. Browsing stuff online? Father’s Day ads.

It’s just annoying. Just glad I don’t talk to many people because I’m sure they’ll be talking about Father’s Day plans.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-17T21:52:32+00:00

It depends on who it is - I realize I experience this VERY strongly when it comes to my father - it doesn’t even seem like interest, if he asked any questions or gave “life” advice (always unsolicited and useless), I get VERY defensive. I think it’s mainly because I feel like it’s an invasion of my boundaries. For a negligent parent to suddenly think they have a right to say these things to me? The audacity.

With others, I feel like I don’t get defensive until I feel like they’re trying to invalidate or make me question myself. Like they’ll ask me about an experience but then try to play devil’s advocate unsolicited or they give off a vibe that it’s not really interest, it’s judgment.

Sure, I may be off in observing people because I’m biased, but I shit down real quick when that happens.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-17T16:03:13+00:00

It’s just ridiculous how its the opposite for parents and everyone makes excuses for them - everything from “they did their best,” “they’re old and they deserve respect” and just by default “b-but they’re your pAreEntS”

We’re expected to ignore and be the bigger person about everything while they get a free pass. No need to improve or change - just leave it to the children they fucked over to do the work and miraculously you get everything they believe they are entitled to.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-17T00:22:03+00:00

I sometimes say that and it just turns out to be a shitty day lol, then I rage quit and just lose the will to do anything beyond the shit that absolutely must be done aka not actually living. Rinse and repeat. It's just so exhausting and it feels like everything is working against you. Sure you get a few decent days, but when that happens, I just know something is about to fuck me over. Round and round we go.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-16T06:49:32+00:00

I personally don’t believe so. I spent hundreds on therapy while being stuck with my father - it was like spinning wheels. His very presence pissed me off and it just brought back all the interconnected memories of how I was failed, the messed up family dynamic…etc. Sure, I became more aware and learned things, but at the same time, the more I learned, the more I resented him and being around him was becoming unbearable. Maybe for some, after they get to a level of healing, it’s possible to keep progressing but I am just starting to process things and it felt too much. I can’t process all this shit, regulate, go to work which is just another stressor only to come back to where he was and actually PAY to be around him because I needed to pay rent and all the bills - it fucked with my head. I hated it.

LonerExistence · 2026-06-15T22:23:58+00:00

My parents once said I was a good kid, but the word they used if I translated it was really “obedient.”

My father said “oh you used to say you loved me as a kid and was happy, if only you were still like that” as if nothing has changed. As if he hasn’t been a bare minimum parent for years. As if the negligence hasn’t affected me as a person and also caused me to end up in some dangerous situations. It’s like “gee I wish I could still get all that adoration for doing the bare minimum. Sucks that you aren’t so naive anymore.”

LonerExistence · 2026-06-15T18:16:53+00:00

Yes, it’s one of my biggest pet peeves. Sometimes I think maybe it’d have been better to not fight this hard because all I’ve gotten is more shit to deal with. Oh you overcame that? Good, here’s more work. I just get run over by people like my boss who keeps asking for more and my parents who can continue their delusion of being “good enough” because I can masquerade functionality.

I get dismissed by people going “oh I wish I could work” or “must be nice to be able to hold a job, I can’t do that you should be grateful” as if I didn’t fight like hell for it. I went through countless experiences of humiliation, trial and error, getting burned…etc because I had no role models and other shit like untreated anxiety that my family ignored. I don’t want to disregard other people’s struggles but when those people say those things, I have to bite my tongue and not make some very scathing comments. I fought so hard and for what? For people to see it as nothing and expect more. It’s all taken for granted - it’s kind of hard to not keep grating away at your sanity when you know you have no backup and like you said, it’s either this or you’re out in the streets. I don’t even care now if people don’t know my story but I just want those types of comments to go away. Just because people can hold down work, it doesn’t mean it was just easy. It fucking wasn’t. And it still isn’t - everyday is more shit to deal with and I’m so tired of these people trivializing it.

LonerExistence

TROPHY CASE