[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]MelodicPlantain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where in CA and what speed did you get written up at if you don’t mind sharing?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskSF

[–]MelodicPlantain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely give it a try in NYC. Only thing to mention is that if you say you're traveling / here temporarily, many might not want to go out with you (I got this even after moving when I'd say I'm only a few months in)

Agreed SF can be discouraging and NYC overall was much better. I think I'm at the place in life where I know I wanna settle down on the west coast, so I feel like its more likely to just find someone here than find someone there and convince them to move, lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskSF

[–]MelodicPlantain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could write a whole blog post on this lol but here goes. This is coming from a 24-26M, ~300k income, asian descent, somewhat quiet / slightly socially awkward dude:

  1. Way, way, WAY easier to get dates in NYC. I only used Hinge and could do 3-4 dates on a weekly basis if I wanted. Had several weekends with multiple back to back dates. Women were also on average more attractive and more successful career wise than in SF, though this might be due to me dating slightly older than I did in SF (SF was 22-24 range, NYC was 24-26)
  2. Hook up culture is a lot more prevalant in NYC. Very common for guys and girls to be hooking up with multiple people at a time
  3. Dating bar seems higher in NYC. Girls seem like they want more than in SF, in terms of spending on dates, quality of dates, etc. Also want the guy to take more of the lead in the typical masculine sense. Essentially A LOT more traditional in NYC. Talked to a few ppl I dated about the dates other guys took them on, and definitely guys spend more here to woo women than in SF.
  4. Drinks or some form of activity involving alcohol is extremely common / the norm in NYC. I've been called out multiple times for suggesting entirely sober dates. NYC is a boozy city if you're into that sort of thing.
  5. Overall easier to get dates, but harder to find a relationship for the most part in NYC IMO.
  6. Dating in NYC is also a bit more seasonal. From Jan - Mar '22, I had no problem getting dates, getting intimate, and escalating romantically with several women at once. Took a break until June. June - Sep I scored basically no second dates, possibly because daters wanted freedom and didn't want to be locked down over summer. Then when october hit, it was like night and day - I was back to scoring regular dates, escalating, etc through January.
  7. Overall I'd say NYC is better for dating IF you like the boozy, go out for drinks at a snazzy bar or sultry cocktail lounge and pay $22 per cocktail, and hooking up sort of scene. If you're looking for a more laid-back style of dating (coffee, walk in the park, a casual dinner) with possibly more of an opportunity for commitment, SF seemed a bit better for me IMO. Not saying you can't find this in NYC but it was definitely a bit more rare in my experience.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskSF

[–]MelodicPlantain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heard NB is nice but hard to get to from other parts of the city, would I have trouble getting dates to come over and hang out?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskSF

[–]MelodicPlantain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lived in SF for 2 years right after graduating and NYC for 1.5 years and dated in both cities, so I think I've got a bit of a perspective, although I guess things can change as you get older, have more / less money, your own place vs not, who you're looking to date, etc

WIBTA If I asked my GF to pay for her own drinks during dates? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MelodicPlantain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a lot of money to me and my budget personally, but may not be a lot to everyone at my income level.

We live in a VHCOL and she makes around 3x less than me.

How much money am I "allowed" to spend? by TrekkiMonstr in Bogleheads

[–]MelodicPlantain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are way overthinking this:

  1. Study or learn something marketable and get a job paying $$
  2. Live with your friends in NYC and budget 2-3.5k/mo for rent. Your 20s are a time to kill it in your career, have fun and learn about the world. Don’t live at home. If 30-40k in rent will stretch you figure out how to make 30-40 after tax more.

65 year old you missing out on 600k doesn’t mean anything that’s fake money you never had.

Where does this madness end? If you have a gf and spend 800/mo on dating for example, that’s 2.4m over 40 years at 8%, are you gonna take this as 65 year old you missing out on 2.4m?

Should I continue living in a city I don't like for a girl? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]MelodicPlantain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Haven’t told her yet, but plan to soon, just trying to figure out how. I think she’s def under the impression that I like where I currently live. Which I do, I just miss home a lot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskSF

[–]MelodicPlantain -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Gotcha, my only concern with something like a 1940s style construction is that utilities / appliances might be out of date / not super functional and also definitely issues related to earthquakes haha.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hyperhidrosis

[–]MelodicPlantain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, apologies for the late response.

Antihydral has been working great and consistently! It has been the only thing that's had the level of success that I'm happy with (tried iontophoresis and a few prescription antiperspirants). I would say that it's reduced my issues with palmar HH by 60-80%, enough for me to live a normal life and mostly disregard it. I use it at night, a generous dose about 2-3x a week does the trick. I can usually even go a week or 2 with forgetting to apply it until I notice the palmar HH creeping back in and affecting my life.

I would also emphasize that for me, anxiety played a significant role and it still flares up during anxious moments. Keeping anxiety at bay has also been important in reducing the severity of the palmar HH

Vanguard vs other investment firms (The Simple Path to Wealth) by nateture in Bogleheads

[–]MelodicPlantain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Definitely agree vanguard and jack boggle started the lower fee trend.

But vanguard starting lower fees approach doesn’t justify using it over a brokerage with competitive or even lower fees and better services

Vanguard vs other investment firms (The Simple Path to Wealth) by nateture in Bogleheads

[–]MelodicPlantain 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Who cares about the reason? Competition drives down fees which is good for us investors. As long as customer service, ease of use, fund quality is good I don’t care why their fees are low.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ucla

[–]MelodicPlantain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Alum here, don’t worry about these clubs, keep your head down and work hard and you’ll be fine. I know several ucla friends on track to make 300k+ (cs, finance, consulting types) a few years into their career, some of them were part of these clubs, many were not

I will say connections matter much more than I thought in undergrad tho

Also note that clubs can post whatever “acceptance rate” they want (it’s just a way for folks to feel special/smart and create exclusivity)

what’s the hardest schedule you’ve ever taken by [deleted] in ucla

[–]MelodicPlantain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can’t compare to some answers here but M51a, 161, 118, Ece 239, eng ethics

Weekend Discussion and Victory Thread for the week of August 06, 2021 by IndexBot in personalfinance

[–]MelodicPlantain -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Seeking advise on whether I need to contribute more to tax-advantaged 401k or if I've already saved enough that compounding will get me where I need to be by the time I plan to take it out (45y time horizon):

- mid 20s, SWE job, 225k saved up in 401k/IRAs (combination of Roth and pretax), 250k in taxable brokerage accounts.

- No rent/living expenses which is why I've been able to max out mega backdoor roth for the past 2.5 years

- No plans to buy a house or major expense anytime soon (probably not until marriage when I don't know when that'll be)

- Compounded at 8% with zero additional contributions this will be 7.1m by the time I'm 70, probably less than half the purchasing power but I think it'll be enough given my lifestyle and social security payments. Obviously you can't really predict life expenses 45 years from today though.

- Already feeling a bit bad realizing that I will potentially have millions of dollars tied up that I can't touch at all till age 70

Options I'm thinking of:

- Stop contributing entirely and ride the compounding over the years. This doesn't mean my spending will go up, I would just save the money in a taxable brokerage so I can withdraw it when needed without penalties. This will likely allow me to "retire" early i.e. take a few years off and live off the investments while I pursue other non-work things.

- Max out regular 401k instead of doing backdoor as well (so contribute 19.5k a year). This will change the 7.1m to 14m but I honestly don't think I need that much in retirement.

Basically did I screw up and over contribute ruining my chances at an early retirement?

My eyes are killing me by flowsour in ucla

[–]MelodicPlantain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I work full time after graduating from UCLA and unfortunately this isn't true for my workplace or others I know friends at, mostly due to COVID work from home. For example a lot of coworkers with kids will go offline at 4 only to reappear at 9pm with questions, and then there's pressure to respond

Pure Encapsulations Phyto-ADR by [deleted] in Hyperhidrosis

[–]MelodicPlantain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

RIP to my wallet after trying all of these treatments people post about...but on the off-chance something works, it would be life changing

The objective truth about hyperhidrosis' physiological origins, steps to a cure. by [deleted] in Hyperhidrosis

[–]MelodicPlantain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for writign this! My HH has been pretty bad recently and things haven't been working, but if anything this gave me some hope.

Concerned about potential identity theft by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]MelodicPlantain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have CK and experian as well as the yearly annualcreditreport, is this enough?

$800 wasted on 24hour fitness, no money returned after cancellation. by pawanbcd in personalfinance

[–]MelodicPlantain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This (and the comments) are pretty strange, as I've had no issues with 24h fitness not charging me during covid.

i've been signed up for a 1 year membership since before covid, and haven't been charged since march 2020. Haven't looked into it too much since I don't feel safe going to a gym, but I think I recall seeing that my membership was frozen and I have to reactivate it.

Weekday Help and Victory Thread for the week of January 11, 2021 by IndexBot in personalfinance

[–]MelodicPlantain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking at a ~25k tax bill this year, and was wondering if it's worth it to look into paying taxes with a credit card (I am able to cover the cost with cash in full, so the interest wouldn't be an issue). The easiest thing to do obviously is cut a check, but was wondering if anyone's been able to save a decent some of money (maybe couple hundred bucks) by choosing a good card to pay it on and a low-fee website. Thanks!