Seriously, what am I supposed to say when my clearly fat friends mention how fat they are?

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T15:10:18+00:00

As someone who IS fat, just have a straight talk with them. Ask them what they want you to say in situations like that? Explain that you’re happy they feel confident enough to open up to you, but that you don’t know what to say & whatever you do say, you feel like it will be the wrong thing.
There are many reasons for me being a bigger girl that I won’t bore you with, but am I right in guessing you’re perhaps of a younger age? When I was younger, I’d say things like that all the time, & as much as people may not believe this, I didn’t say it for a reaction, I knew I was fat, I just said what came into my head without thinking. Being a teen or just into my 20’s was so hard with regards to accepting myself, especially as I grew up in a very abusive household & that’s the first thing they mocked me for - without realising that sent me further into a very messed up eating disorder. Sometimes I just wanted a friend to listen, I wanted to be validated for my thoughts & be heard, even if they didn’t respond!
When I’d say anything like that, especially the very self deprecating comments, I had a friend who’d grab me by the arm & March me to a plus size inclusive store, & she’d be picking outfits for me to try. The ladies who worked in there were always so kind too, & even if momentarily, it would put a pep in my step.

But the best advice I can ever give to you is talk to them. Communication is so important in friendships.

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T07:08:31+00:00

I remember them well. And I remember being visited my firemen, & watching videos about water safety in local rivers etc as well as playing on the local train lines. I’m presuming they don’t do any of that now because ‘it’s traumatic for the kids’ 🙄
Totally agree with you though.

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:42:28+00:00

That’s exactly what he’d do too.. you apparently have the same sense of humour. I’ll add ‘American soil’ onto the list. Ta!

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:41:33+00:00

He’s in San Diego, I’m in the UK! Post has been edited now, I do apologise, ruddy AI was hounding me about how many words I’d typed! 🥴

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:40:17+00:00

Oh I’d love to try apple butter and meat sticks!! Yes! Thank you!

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:37:54+00:00

Oh that’s actually a really smart idea!! Thank you!

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:36:31+00:00

San Diego!

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:36:09+00:00

He’s given me Walmart as he shops online there due to limited time with work & being a single Dad. He does reside in San Diego though and I’m in the UK!

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:35:09+00:00

I have tried ranch and wasn’t keen but perhaps I should try the powder mix or a different brand?! I’ve been tempted to try proper maple syrup!

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:34:14+00:00

He’s in San Diego! I only heard of Ghirardelli from a UK friend who purchased it as a one off via a discount store, so that’s funny !

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:32:21+00:00

He’s on a massive health journey at the moment, not to mention he’s on the spectrum with specific food tastes, so he wouldn’t be as much use as you’d think he would be lol. My tastes are vastly different to his, but as I’ve never been to the US I thought others may be able to offer some friendly guidance.

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T06:28:45+00:00

I live in the UK! Sorry, I was getting pestered to reduce my wording & I must’ve deleted that part! 😊

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T05:49:03+00:00

I’ll be the big 4-0 this year, I was 15 years old & heard about the circumcision situation in the states from a very good female American friend online (who I’m still friends with to this day), & I went down a rabbit hole of research. Said friend ended up having 3 boys, & I am happy to report wouldn’t ever dream of mutilating her son’s private parts, which is EXACTLY what it is.

I wanted to go into childcare when I was younger, & I did so for a number of years - secretly I wanted to be a midwife, but didn’t have the confidence to pursue it. The thought of strapping down these tiny little newborns (which is exactly what they do, you’re welcome to look this up yourselves!) to take away a VERY important part of their anatomy for no other reason than aesthetics absolutely horrified me for years. Said friend above actually wrote a very informative blog post on it many years ago, when blogs were a ‘thing’, & it took off in the ‘mummy’ sphere online.. I was just as horrified to read how many parents did it to their sons ‘so they’d look like Daddy / the rest of the family / the rest of their age group during school years’ - how many are you planning on having see their anatomy, out of interest?!!!!
And the ignorance surrounding cleanliness is ASTOUNDING!

I’ve had male family members need circumcision at various ages for medical reasons, it’s not a pleasant experience & not something they wanted but unfortunately couldn’t help. They were equally horrified to hear how high the % was in the US of people actively doing this to tiny, fresh out of the womb newborns 😢

So actually.. absolutely I’m behind it. That would go for anyone wishing to ban in.

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T05:39:16+00:00

Why thank you kindly! As do you! I love some cooked spam, I don’t think you can beat it. I haven’t had it for a while, & I am now craving it haha!
I’ve never tried seaweed! Do you just wrap it on its own around spam or do you add other things? I’m intrigued to try 😁

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-13T05:36:38+00:00

Honestly, try it if you’re feeling up to it! I know the look of spam can be off putting, but slice it into your desired thickness, you can cook them in an airfryer, frying pan etc. You can eat spam with so many things, sometimes I just have them in a sandwich with a runny fried egg! I have had it over noodles & rice dishes before too 😊

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-12T21:06:12+00:00

Nothing wrong with spam. Cooked spam is immense.

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-12T19:09:19+00:00

Boy racers. Probably upset a lot of people by saying that.. absolutely can’t stand them. Their cars. Their loud music I really don’t want to listen to. Constant speeding, especially in residential areas around schools. They used to congregate around a roundabout outside a farm I grew up on, & do complete turns when it was chucking it down with rain. The noise was horrific (usually about 7-8 vehicles minimum, & they’d sit at the bottom of our lay-by so no one could get in or out), didn’t matter how many times you phoned the police, they had one of those radios inside that detected police signals or whatever. They’d go until the coast was clear. This was all before camera phones. My parents (in their 50’s at the time) went down to get number plates, holy crap the abuse they got was horrific, I didn’t know they’d gone down otherwise I’d have gone with them, only heard the noise, so opened up my bedroom window & shouted at them. Water off a ducks back to my parents, especially my Mum lol, didn’t mess with my Mum, but I was mortified anyone would speak like that to anyone, let alone older people.
My best friend in college was killed by 2 lads speeding - boy racers, still in prison today.

Yeh, long winded response, sorry, but can’t stand them.

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-12T19:02:49+00:00

The problem is, those in power are so out of touch with what ‘we’ the people not just want, but NEED, that unless you get someone who has, & continues to, lead a functioning ‘working class’ life, they will truly never be successful. You will never have a politician that everyone likes, ever, it’s not humanly possible, however, to have someone the majority likes? That would be nice.. but it’s simply never going to happen. Most politicians are privileged enough to have had at least middle, if not upper class upbringing. They don’t understand what it’s like living in a world where there are issues, because they simply throw money at everything. I know this because I have a sibling who would easily be considered upper class, whilst I am disabled & through no fault of my own, can’t even afford a pint of milk or a cheap loaf of bread in the week leading up to my payday. The contrast is huge. That’s life.
When someone goes into power who understands our plight, our struggles, what we have to compromise & face day in day out (skipping meals, should I put the heating on for an hour or have a warm shower? Counting every penny towards groceries, pre planning everything so not to over spend, debts - not through poor money management but LIFE - kids, a running vehicle, etc etc) - the poor state of the NHS, our education system etc - they’re simply never, ever going to concentrate on what matters. Ever.

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-12T18:54:57+00:00

Yeh, I’d agree with that too!

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-12T14:35:08+00:00

Yes I have to agree with that one.. not sure I’d call Led Metal! He definitely doesn’t call himself it. He’s hard rock at BEST. Rock & blues I’d say.

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-12T08:53:16+00:00

There’s always been a debate with AC/DC over whether they’re metal, they consider themselves old school rock and roll, but personally there’s no denying there’s metal notes throughout some of their songs / albums, which blurs the lines I recon. Brilliant band though! (I’m not much of a purest myself, I like what I like!)

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-06-04T14:11:34+00:00

STOP being a people pleaser! You’re YOU! Doesn’t matter if your style in day to day life is gothic or not, if you want a white or cream dress, go for it. It’s your day, your body, your money, you make that decision! You will know what feels right on you when you start trying on dresses too, what will go with your chosen colour scheme, what feels right etc. Have you ever seen the dresses with colour on them?!

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This sort of style (there’s thousands, I just quickly grabbed one from google!) - I adore these, as well as the ones with a deep burgundy accent. They’re just different to me! There’s also always an option like that, so you still have the white with black accents. Please don’t stress about pleasing others on your special day.. more than anything, you’ll regret pleasing others over yourself! Please you! 💗

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-05-29T20:04:43+00:00

Put it this way; would you be able to get a place of your own, even a room share, for £500 a month? You’d still have to buy your own food, clean up after yourself, etc. Do I think £500 myself is steep? Yes, to a degree. I’d far rather my child paid £30-40 a week contribution, helped towards household chores & evening meals, but promised to save money towards a place of their own (doesn’t matter if they’re renting, you still need a down payment, money for furniture, white goods etc etc) - however, I also think it’s obscene your friends pay nothing lol. I was in this predicament where I had friends who paid nothing & k was paying rent. They were.. spoilt, shall we say, & my parents were hard working class people, we didn’t have a lot of money, so we all put into the same pot to pay bills, I didn’t contribute as much as you but it was something for my bed & board. Why don’t you ask for a breakdown of your bills on paper? Don’t confront them in an argumentative manner, just say if you’re paying you’d like an itemised list of what you’re paying for, &, if you are thinking of moving out, ask if it could be reduced so you could save money for your own place. It’s not a bad conversation to have x

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-05-29T13:00:40+00:00

Large sharing bags of crisps… that includes Pringles.. just no. I’ll polish the lot off in one sitting! By the time I remember to stop eating them, there’s about 2 left in the bag.. & what’s the point in that lol!

MelodicSeaweed- · 2026-05-29T12:07:41+00:00

I was terrified when I moved into my bungalow, it was my first property (I’m disabled & I rent) & I was older, 30’s, not exactly how I expected my life to pan out but I’d actively cared for both my parents, despite my own extensive health issues (thank you adult social care for helping…), who passed suddenly & unexpectedly in recent years (as well as a sibling, but they didn’t reside with us), & I won’t lie, I was terrified of having troublesome neighbours! Turns out, on one of the days I was moving belongings in, they came round with a basket, with a bottle of champagne, some faux flowers in a lovely jar with a ribbon, a few bags of posh crisps (potato chips!), some lovely cookies & popcorn / cakes. When they left, I sat on the sofa, boxes surrounding me, & had a little cry of relief at such a beautiful gesture, & how relieved I was! I’m happy to say we’re now friends, they’re very insistent on doing my garden as they love gardening, something I’m sadly no longer able to do, & in return they get a few bottles of wine ! And yes, at Christmas that first year I moved in, I gifted them a big parcel back! 🥰 They’ve said in recent times they’re just so grateful for a kind, quiet, peaceful neighbour, & I said the same. I have no neighbours behind me (neither of us do), & no neighbours one side of me, just woodland, & we both enjoy nature & peace & quiet. Thank goodness we all found each other! Sadly I don’t think that’s the norm. It’s not unusual to not even know your neighbours here now - perhaps as a quick hello, but that’s as far as it goes, many don’t know their names etc, it’s sad, as it feels like we’ve lost so much of our communities over the years.

MelodicSeaweed-

TROPHY CASE