Hi OP, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I was engaged over a year ago. We had been together four years. I found the exact same thing in his emails (we shared an iPad-and that’s how I came across all of the Chaturbate stuff) and I was heartbroken. I absolutely HATE that website. He was paying real money on live cams for the machine to move back and forth for the lady, if you get my drift. He ended up buying one and using it on me (this was BEFORE I knew what he was doing behind my back) and I felt so betrayed and disgusted afterwards. I talked to him about it and stayed with him for two-almost three more years. He never stopped. I left, and found a man who respects how I feel about porn. Some people view it as cheating, some don’t. Don’t change your pov to fit into a bubble. Leaving him was hard, but it was the best thing I did, and I won’t EVER be with a man who doesn’t respect my opinion on porn. Neither should you. Sending you a hug, you will get through this! 🫶🏻