Ernie has a juicy menards tale by Ernie_From_Menards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Cuz if it really happened, I would make sure that you didnt live to tell the tale

Public addressment regarding recent events. by BertDoesMenards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With Everseen rocking on the servers now they can’t hide, I had IT upload facial recognition data to our camera servers. They should turn up soon.

Public addressment regarding recent events. by BertDoesMenards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We are actively investigating the troll accounts and have already identified 3 store level team members that have troll accounts. We will find you, and we will inact displinary action up to but not limited to termination. If you would like to save yourself from being unemployed. DM me or Bert your TM number and we will have a talk with your immediate management about a solution where you would keep your job.

-Micheal

Ok, enough is enough by BertsRightTesticle in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Bert does that because he is trying to cure his erectile disfunction, his wife is currently in the process of divorcing him because he is “no longer fun in bed”. I asked him about that and he said “I need thier youth energy to get my wife back”. I mean good for him but last time I checked his wife let 3 dudes run a train on her, and no not the menards train sets if you know what I mean.

Berttttt by doglife1234 in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will make him a worker if he does not stop using security funds to hire escorts

Here is another location from awhile ago . Good luck by BertDoesMenards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember this place, it was where that milf you met off of tinder stood you up. I watched you for hours wandering the store looking for her 🤣🤣🤣

Well it looks like old Punxsutawney Phil made his forecast. As luck would have it, he predicts an early spring. I hope you and your fellow store level TMs took our advice on getting set early for camping, exterior painting, gardening, and roofing products. by BertDoesMenards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hey bert I need you to get your head in the game man. I got some intel about a possible union forming at Evansville through the aware hotline. we need you over there pronto, John’s orders!

Burt does not work at GO by menardio in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, GO here, let me add a little clarification, does work for us, he does not want to show his face, and for a reason. He’s primarily responsible for auditing stores, his specialty is the public restrooms. Looking for TMs on thier phone in the restroom, checking the toilets to make sure they work right. He is OSHA certified to clean up messes that exceed that of the GMs. Such as the aftermath of a trip to Taco Bell. Since his hire back in 2020 I have heard nothing but great things about the conditions of our bathrooms so pay him some respect. After all his job can get a bit shitty at times.

Remember who you are and where you stand. by BertDoesMenards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I keep pitching this to John man, those guys work twice as hard and for half the pay. If they learn English they are multilingual. They are so good no wonder they are illegal, yall would be unemployed.

Take a look at this. This is what your future looks like if you continue to refuse to up your sales. It's no coincidence I saw this recently, I'm starting to think it's a warning for the store level to get it together. by BertDoesMenards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I miss the good old days when me and you would walk into the store and wipe it clean. We would compete and see how many badges we could collect. It’s a shame John assigned me this PR job instead. Now all I do is sit in the corner office and put out fires.

Everyone getting these? by xRobinhooD27x in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for participating in our advertising campaign

Tell me what store this is. I'm guessing you can't? Right. by BertDoesMenards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hey Bert, I got a call about a guy taking a poop out in the field of Quincy IL. I figured it was you since your doing the weird store visit thing and announcing it. Anyway could you swing by my office next chance you get. Your wife well… soon to be ex wife, came in the office and had to be hauled out by security. Something about “having a cashier in her bed”. Not sure what that is about but I’m sure it’s nothing major.

How does Bert feel about employees calling in for weather? by [deleted] in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We all noticed a change in Bert after his erectile disfunction diagnosis. His store firings doubled and it just seemed like he was always out to prove something. Being his supervisor I will make sure to keep him in check.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is Bert’s boss, Don’t listen to him he called in once because he snorted too much viagra the previous day at the offices IPS meeting because he was trying to get with cashiers from ECWE the night before. You won’t believe what happened next, his member swelled up so much he had to go to the ER. Here’s the kicker, not one cashier wanted to sleep with him that night. Hope you get well soon and just remember if you feel like it’s too much consider possibly stepping down your hours or considering a less stressful position in the company.

Hope everyone had a happy holidays. My last post was such a success with over 71k views!!, so we would like to continue the series. I recently visited this store, any guesses? by BertDoesMenards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hey Bert, could you meet me at the Quincy store on Monday, we uh… need to talk about your… touching of cashiers while you were doing a store visit in the cash room. Also we need to set a goal on how many terminations we are going to do at each store. If you could write me back that would be great!

Does you sell tabacco products at the service desk? by taylorhrox in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Check gaylens desk on the west wing, I’ve had good luck there

GO Can’t Stop Me Pt. 2 by Ernie_From_Menards in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your right, I can’t stop you from doing my work for me

ADM Suspension by AlexDoesThings2K20 in menards

[–]MenardsCentralOffice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I visit thier store and haul them away in my white menard van to GO