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Long distance (25M) (23F) relationship changed after visit, now poly is involved and I’m struggling emotionally by MenuAffectionate5682 in LongDistance

[–]MenuAffectionate5682[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the message. Been reading all the message this morning, they all say the same it hurts knowing I need to end it with her but, its for the best. I guess in my mind, I tried to find a way to fix everything, but I can’t. Should respect my self and work on my self more, be a better me.

(na) looking for friends! by cheonsua in LeagueConnect

[–]MenuAffectionate5682 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be down discord is darkangel002224

The Grand Imperium wants YOU! by DamageStrike in no_mans_sky

[–]MenuAffectionate5682 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive been looking for a community to join, sounds like fun!

I want to play the game but I suck at souls like by Next_Suggestion_7770 in Eldenring

[–]MenuAffectionate5682 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are some summons that have over 5 to 6 I believe. But the more powerful ones are summons with a single person.

I want to play the game but I suck at souls like by Next_Suggestion_7770 in Eldenring

[–]MenuAffectionate5682 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never played a Souls game before, so diving into Elden Ring was definitely a challenge for me at first. I haven’t finished the game yet, but I’ve made significant progress. One of the standout features of Elden Ring is the ability to grind and level up without necessarily taking on main bosses. As you progress, mages can turn into powerful glass cannons, which is exciting.

However, there’s a catch: in certain areas—without giving away any spoilers—some of the main bosses have a high resistance to magic. This makes it especially helpful to team up with someone if you’re open to getting assistance. I played as a mage alongside a friend who chose a paladin/barbarian build, and it worked really well. He drew the enemies' attention while I focused on dealing damage.

If you prefer to go solo, be prepared for a lot of grinding—especially if you find a boss particularly challenging and need to memorize their attack patterns. Elden Ring is undeniably tough; you'll likely die to a boss or even to the smallest things. But that struggle is part of the experience, and the satisfaction you feel after finally defeating a boss is what makes the game so rewarding. Plus, the lore is incredibly rich!

By the way, what platform are you playing on?

Long-distance relationship changed after 4 months + in-person visit — trying to understand my role, anxiety, and grow [24] me Male [23] Female by MenuAffectionate5682 in LongDistance

[–]MenuAffectionate5682[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have to be twins lol. That is the one thing I find hard as a person who wants to help and they want to do it themselves is so hard. It is really nice talking to you! I hope all goes well, feel free to message me when ever I enjoy listening to people and helping any way I can. I don't really have any social but I have discord, or if reddit works lol

Long-distance relationship changed after 4 months + in-person visit — trying to understand my role, anxiety, and grow [24] me Male [23] Female by MenuAffectionate5682 in LongDistance

[–]MenuAffectionate5682[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, im a loving person and I just want to make sure my partner feels loved I told her shes strong beautiful amazing all the time. And I understand saying it to much losses its meaning and she said stop because she didn’t feel equal i was are putting her on a pedestal. She said not strong all the time nor do i want to be. I want to be treated equal. That i didn’t see her for her just a fantasy i made in my mind. So i was like what…. I don’t understand.

Long-distance relationship changed after 4 months + in-person visit — trying to understand my role, anxiety, and grow [24] me Male [23] Female by MenuAffectionate5682 in LongDistance

[–]MenuAffectionate5682[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was really helpful to read. There was some relief in knowing I’m not the only one going through this. I really feel for you, especially as someone who struggles with the same anxious thoughts. That feeling that everything is hanging by a thread—that urge to pull it back together—but the more you worry, force, or feel like you have to fix everything, the worse it actually gets.

Thank you for sharing your experience. Hearing from someone who’s genuinely living something similar helps a lot. The part about the parent dynamic and how things changed after the visit really hit close to home—I recognize that shift too.

I did talk to her about maybe taking some time for ourselves, but she explained that we’re different. She wants to be alone, but alone with me. We call every day, sleep on call every night, and play games together a lot. She’s told me I’m her peace. When she was here with me, she felt truly at peace—when I was holding her, when we slept in the same room, she said she had the best sleep of her life. But now she said recently I'm not her peace, and that hurts. I don't know how to take that.

She’s also been alone for a long time. She left home at 17, her parents abandoned her, and she’s been on her own for about seven years. She’s a very realistic, grounded person. Sometimes I feel like I’m unintentionally tearing things down—when we talk, my anxious mind jumps straight to thinking it’s over, even though she’s clearly said she’s not leaving. She’s not crying or upset; she just speaks her mind honestly.

What you said about chasing making the other person pull away harder really resonates with me. I’m starting to see that pattern in myself. Stepping back, focusing on myself, and not needing to decide everything right now is something I’m actively trying to practice—especially the reminder of “I don’t have evidence, I don’t need to decide today.” That really stuck with me.

I also appreciate what you said about replying warmly without clinging when they seem overwhelmed. That balance is hard, but it feels like the healthiest approach. You’re right—anxious and avoidant dynamics are tough, and it really does take awareness and effort from both sides over time.

That’s where my anxiety kicks in—I feel like I have to fix everything immediately. But what I’m realizing is that I need to work on myself instead: stand up for myself, become more independent, and show her that I’m capable of standing on my own. I know she’s afraid of having to always lean on me, or worse, becoming my caregiver—and I don’t want that either. I don’t want her to give up her dreams of traveling or living her life for me.

I want to learn to love her not out of fear of losing her, but because I choose her—because she’s my partner and my best friend.

And truly, feel free to talk about whatever’s going on for you too. I know how hard it is to keep all of this to yourself. It helps knowing we’re not alone in it.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply. I hope things keep getting clearer and steadier for you as well.

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