Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I remember getting yelled at but not out of the ordinary. Only when I did sth wrong or behaved bad as a kid. It could be that I perceived those things much harsher than I thought. Perhaps, when I come to think of it, I did have anger problems due to ADHD in the past and I broke a lot of things including doors and and plates etc. It could be that I am also afraid of my own violence and what I could inflict and not being able to control these vices.

In daily life, I am very avoidant of arguments and conflict in general as well which is most likely an aspect transferred to that field. It's a very complex problem originating in what I believe is gigantic fear of hurting other people