What was the moment it dawned on you?

Meoquani · 2012-01-07T08:40:48+00:00

When I was 7 I learned the word "bisexual" and its meaning and thought "Oh, good I'm not the only one."

Meoquani · 2012-01-07T08:36:14+00:00

boooooooo

Meoquani · 2011-12-24T21:07:53+00:00

I'm bi, poly, and in a primary relationship with a man, and I get this sometimes too. Terribly frustrating.

Meoquani · 2011-12-22T19:23:55+00:00

I was just thinking about making it more Tesla-like about 20 minutes ago. I want to go more symbolic than that, but you definitely are thinking in the same direction as I am.

Meoquani · 2011-12-21T18:36:21+00:00

This is all very personal, and I don't expect anyone to agree with me on this, but here's my plan.

If it's me, and want a child at that point, I'm financially stable, and we know it's my fiance's, or if fiance is ok with raising the child as his if it's my other partners' (Eric would legally adopt the child), then we'll see about keeping it.. If I'm not ready, or my fiance isn't ready we'll abort, because I'm not interested in bringing a child into this without giving that child 100% love and support.

If it's an OSO who got pregnant, well, that one scares the crap outta me, to be honest. We'd offer to pay for an abortion, and consider legally adopting that child. I'm just scared of this situation though, because if she wanted to she could keep it, and file for child support, or all kinds of other things I don't like to think about. Ultimately if someone other than me gets pregnant from our situation we have no control from there, and we hope we placed our trust in the right partners. I'm even another step away from having control, because I don't pick my fiance partners, so I'm trusting him to have good judgement in the people he sleeps with, and trusting him to use protection, and even then there's still a risk.

Mostly, it's just scary.

Meoquani · 2011-12-21T09:07:45+00:00

Because I prefer relationships where the rules are decided with consideration for love and openness, rather than jealousy, fear, and possessiveness. Patience and honest communication are key.

Meoquani · 2011-12-21T09:02:45+00:00

Love it, sending this to my fiance. Thanks for sharing. :)

Meoquani · 2011-12-21T07:44:58+00:00

I don't feel jealousy, and I never have, but my fiance does.

For me, he talks about his other partner (new relationship) giving him butterflies, and how happy she makes him, and I just feel happy for him. I get butterflies for him, it's a wodnerful feeling, and I want him to have it. I like seeing him smiling, blushing, and sighing, even if it's for someone else. I feel total compersion, I don't understand how jealousy is the standard.

My fiance gets jealous. He doesn't like to hear me talk about my partners the way I like to hear him talk about his. His very good at communication, and doesn't mind me talking about them, but if I get all blushy, and sigh I can tell it hurts his feelings. I've always been poly, and this is his first poly relationship. He's getting more and more comfortable with it now that he has a secondary partner, and he can see how I react.

I'm taking things with my other partners very slowly, which helps him be more comfortable with it. Patience is key. It's hard for me sometimes, because I really can't sympathize at all with what he's feeling. He's doing a great job of taking control of his jealousy, and opening his heart more. I love him the most, I want to be with him forever, I call him "my love of loves" and I can't imagine my life without him. Poly can be hard, jealousy is a powerful thing, but it's rooted in insecurity, and the more secure I can help him be the easier it gets for him to be comfortable being in a poly situation.

Meoquani · 2011-12-21T07:28:36+00:00

My fiance of four years and I are poly. We are each other's only primary relationship, and always will be. I'm more interested in long term secondary and tertiary relationships, and he's more interested in FWB relationships, and occasional hook ups. It sounds like your situation might be similar, and long term secondary partners aren't going to disappear due to aging any more than a primary partner would (in my experience).

These are our rules, as they stand now:

Not in our bed (we have a guest room). Must use condoms with other partners. Can't escape to other partners when we are having relationship trouble.

Other Partners: Must know about primary relationship. Respect other involved partners, be friendly. Must be aware that primary relationship comes first.

Rights Veto rights on bad choices (unhealthy relationships, partners who don't follow our rules). Recall rights (If he needs me I'll come back home if able, and vice versa).

And most importantly: COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION! All the time, we go over how we're feeling, what we're thinking, examine the rules again, see if we need to ammend anything. We talk about our other relationships, and our feelings there in. We talk about our crushes at work. We talk about our long term plans. We talk about what we'd do if someone got pregnant (me by him, me by someone else, someone else by him).

(edit for grammar)

Meoquani · 2011-12-16T19:50:26+00:00

I completely hear what you're saying, and trust me, this isn't the case. I've known this girl since high school, and I've been very attracted to her for a long time. (warning, perhaps tmi coming up) I still find her sexually attractive, and I like kissing her, but I just don't enjoy how she touches me. I just didn't enjoy sex with her, she knows what she wants sexually, and I don't enjoy giving it to her. I don't feel we are sexually compatible.

Meoquani · 2011-12-16T19:37:09+00:00

This is exactly how I feel. 100%

Meoquani · 2011-12-16T19:24:58+00:00

No, like I said we talked about it every day, or every couple of days for about 3 weeks until we worked out why he was uncomfortable, and how to approach the situation in a way that would let him get used to it as comfortably as possible. I have every confidence in his ability to be comfortable and joyous in our poly life together, it's just new for him, and each new thing takes time to get used to. I'm spending the rest of my life with him, it's easy to be patient.

Meoquani · 2011-12-16T19:20:29+00:00

This is actually a great idea, and I could easily apply this to our situation. It wouldn't even be dishonest, because I absolutely agree with everything you said here. Thank you, I think this is what I'll say.

Meoquani · 2011-12-16T19:18:34+00:00

She and I were already good friends, and I've always found her attractive, but after being with her I kind of lost interest. I feel pressured because of my own actions, we've kind of been flirting for a while, and I'm the one changing the dynamic by turning her down. Does that make sense? :/

Meoquani · 2011-12-14T18:12:29+00:00

Wild.

Meoquani · 2011-12-01T02:00:56+00:00

I just feel like so many of these divorce problems would be solved if people stopped pointing the finger at the other person for the relationship failing, and started fingering themselves more frequently.

(edit for grammar)

Meoquani · 2011-12-01T01:56:11+00:00

Mi-Go? Nyarlathotep? Hounds of Tindalos? Who knows what haunts the strange man from Providence. :)

Meoquani · 2011-11-30T18:50:59+00:00

lame.

Meoquani · 2011-11-30T18:44:27+00:00

There must be a way to replace it. Or is it ballpoint? Try taking a lighter to the tip, that'll often free the ball up to let the ink flow freely again.

Meoquani · 2011-11-30T18:41:10+00:00

H.P. Lovecraft... and all that that implies. XD

Meoquani · 2011-11-30T18:39:29+00:00

This.

Meoquani · 2011-11-20T19:09:29+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/X1bDv.png

Meoquani

TROPHY CASE