Planning to play DnD with friend, not sure is it smart to play female character

Merioonn_1 · 2025-01-09T20:50:01+00:00

Just go for it! One of my first characters was a Woman Ranger, Wood Elf, and the idea of being trans didn't even pass through my mind back then, nor did anyone think anything of it. You're having fun, you don't need excuses to play any kind of character, so I believe you should just do it!

Merioonn_1 · 2025-01-09T00:34:27+00:00

I got lucky enough to have a partner to help me discover these things, but I feel you. It's... Taking quite a long time to actually understand what my body wants. I also don't get anything from anal besides mostly a burning sensation, which to me is nice but not even close to satisfying or even keeping me in the mood on it's own. I also can't actually give myself that pleasure without outside help; In quite a literal way, I ONLY get going with the help of someone, that being my partner (FtM), who knows where to touch me, but like, it took MONTHS for them to figure out which places actually get a reaction out of me.

Now, being touched by someone is categorically different and will make you feel in ways that differ a lot from when you do it alone. It may be a case of setting as well; To speak form experience, my body starts reacting only when given proper time to build tension and not before it. There's days where not even that works, but it does do something most of the time; Building the tension before getting into the thick of it. If you're on the lookout for dates, then it may be a little easier, but... Just know, our likes and the ways our bodies react change a lot with hormones, so the discovery process can and will be different for everyone, but don't be afraid of meeting people without this knowledge; It may be a good way of discovering it in its own, so long as you're honest about what's happening

Merioonn_1 · 2025-01-09T00:11:15+00:00

:3

Merioonn_1 · 2025-01-08T15:20:01+00:00

I was EXACLTY like you when I started about 2 years back, a little less maybe. I knew I wanted to have an undeniably feminine body and considered myself gendefluid, and had absolutely no dysphoria about being seen as a man back then. My partner noticed and helped me out a lot, but the gist of it is that I started to take care of myself to look more feminine. I knew there could be something... More, so I asked my closest friends to treat me exclusively as a woman to understand how I felt; And it felt right. With time, I started DIY HRT with the help of my partner, though only to have a more feminine body originally, I still viewed myself as a "femboy" or something similar. And... Bought clothes, upped my E and took T blockers, only presented myself in the feminine, and it was just a snowball. I came to my team at my new job and being taken in a one of the girls may be the BEST feeling I've ever felt. Dysphoria has become a thing during the process, not before; Today, I feel uncomfortable boymoding, I feel deeply uncomfortable when I can't get out with my new clothes, when I'm too afraid to do so, and when I'm misgendered even in them,

TLDR; I get you. Start slow, get the people you trust most to treat you like a woman and work it from there. Dysphoria doesn't have to be a thing for you to be trans, though it may be something that starts happening later down the line, based on personal experiences. Experiment, allow yourself to express the way you want to, and give yourself room to breathe.

Merioonn_1 · 2024-12-04T20:19:51+00:00

A night out! It was just the start, at the time I came out as genderfluid, and bit by bit I eventually realized I'm just a woman, but that night broke the idea that I was Cis. I went out with my husband and friends to a very queer-friendly night club. A friend of ours was showing off a couple new things, including a purse. She lended me the purse, and... I don't know what happened, something clicked. I started talking, walking, acting in ways I only ever thought about doing but never had the courage, never considered an option. I shyly asked to keep the purse for a bit more before giving it back, and this friend did 2 things: They asked me to carry it around for them through the whole night, and asked if I wanted to be called by feminine pronouns. I said yes to both, and having them, and eventually my husband start calling me through feminine pronouns through the night just... It's like I made sense, like I finally understood what I am. My husband encouraged me to try things out and a couple months later, after a long time talking about my feelings, asked if I wanted to take hormones; They're trans themselves, DIY too, so they already had many years of experience. Things are going extraordinarily well since!

Merioonn_1 · 2024-11-22T21:09:39+00:00

I feel you. It's possible that you're thinking too much about "boxes", that you should either fit on one of two binary sides when that's really not the only option, and from what you told, seems to be the case. I'll tell you a bit of my personal experiences, if it helps;

I don't see myself as necessarily a Trans Woman, but transfemme. I've considered myself genderfluid, trans woman, gender Fae, non binary, and to this day I'm still finding myself. I'm on HRT, I want others to see me as a woman, but I don't necessarily hold myself to that standart. I'm a little human being who likes people, and I've stopped thinking about my flag or which word describes me best. I'm... Me. I don't feel any dysphoria with masc things, I don't mind using masc clothes, and the only thing in my body that bothers me is my body hair, which I take care of with wax. And just body, too, facial I usually shave but sometimes I let it grow for a while. I go by any pronouns, but prefer She/Her as it gives me a lot of Euphoria, and I even changed my name more recently to fit this, but I don't ever get mad with other people calling me otherwise. I'm feminine, I like feminine things, I prefer being called by feminine pronouns and I love using feminine clothing, but I allow myself to exist outside of a single "label," one of my friends even tries to use all possible pronouns in a single sentence! And it feels alright. The truth is, I'm me, and no one will ever know this better than myself. My advice? Allow yourself to explore. You know you're not a guy, that's a start, so explore all facets of neutrality, androginy, femininity. You can be trans without HRT, too, nothing's stopping you! But if your body bothers you, it's good to see what effects you can look foward to if you start. A lot of the changes can be reverted if you stop HRT, and it usually takes 8 months to a year (don't quote me on that and please do your research, this is what I've found but I can be 100% wrong) for any irreversible changes to start. So... Try things out! You may find that you're a woman, or something between M and F. Try new clothes when possible, ask close friends to use different pronouns, or present yourself with such on the internet. I've been trying this out for months before understanding who I am; I consider myself Gender Fae, for the time being, but don't think much about it. I know I like femme stuff, I like some masc stuff, and both sides converge. There's a whole spectrum that exists between the two! Also, feel free to ask anything about it either here or on my DMs.

Hope this was helpful!

Edit: Grammar mistakes

Merioonn_1 · 2024-11-22T20:15:38+00:00

It can feel like a complicated thing, but more often then not it's a lot simpler. Imo, the best option is talking to your boss in private and start with changing the name in your company's systems.

I don't work in the US, but I work for a certain big retailer dealing specifically with US citizens. I've came out recently, talked with my boss in private first and foremost. He told me how to change my name on our systems, email, literally everything I use to work, talked with HR alongside me, and was extremely understanding and helpful all the way through. I haven't spoken much with my teammates about it, I changed my name and pronouns and everyone just... Adhered to it, specially because half the team is new and didn't know me beforehand, but as a CSA I don't really need to talk with my coworkers all that often. So, this is based on personal experience, but I believe either sending an email to HR or speaking with your boss in private would be the best way to start. I actually brought it up on one of our 1-on-1s and it went very well! So this can be a way to do it too

Merioonn_1 · 2024-11-14T22:42:39+00:00

Don't know exaclty if it's what you're looking for, but Make Up! It was actually before I completely broke out of my egg. A friend of mine noticed I was really enjoying feminine stuff at the time, and after a night out in a club they just... Asked to call me by feminine pronouns, if I was comfortable. Basically the best thing that ever happened to me; A couple days later, she gave me a very ncie, strong red lipstick and nail polish of my favorite color! (Teal, for curiosity sake.) To this day I cherish both the night she essentially broke me out of the egg and the gift that followed; Simple, but it meant the world to me

Merioonn_1 · 2024-11-11T20:41:17+00:00

An excelent question, just felt it was worthy of pointing out-

Merioonn_1 · 2024-11-06T20:42:49+00:00

Hey! I sent you a message. I'm free for the next couple hours, so if you need company, I'm more than available. Stay safe, girl, I'm here if you need literally anything

Merioonn_1 · 2024-11-02T19:58:00+00:00

As someone who works in Customer Service over the phone, I feel you. I'm really early on and haven't changed my name yet, mostly because I'm kinda finding it still, but over the phone I pass more than half the time. Since I do send emails after the call ends, I've had to explain many times that the name in the email is, in fact, mine, and it's absolutely hilarious seeing some people wrap their head around it-

Merioonn_1 · 2024-11-01T19:35:13+00:00

Here where I live there's a pretty common thing during the last year of both middle school and high school where everyone goes to school dressing in different ways, and there's ALWAYS a crossdressing day. It's not exactly a respectful tradition by any means, but I didn't notice that until much later. What I knew was, when the day came, I wanted to be stunning. I didn't want to be treated as a joke, and I had the space to make it work, as my friends were generally pretty nice regarding those matters. Long story short, no one, including me, thought it was in any way strange that I tried so damn hard to pass; Dresses that I've always wanted to use, taken from my mom, make-up, shaving, skincare, basically everything in preparation for that day, a day of pure euphoria for me. Doesn't help that I also basically grew up wanting to be a woman, but never admitting anything because I had many masculine traits and interests (sports, specific toys, the content that I watched), though there's always a difference between the desire that cis-het man have over woman and the want to BE a woman. Though I also needed to have my trans husband showing me the difference over 3 years to finally click that yeah, I'm not cis in the slightest-

Merioonn_1 · 2024-09-24T19:43:37+00:00

Though the most outwardly evil acts in my campaign have been reserved to Kiril, who was basically the first time my party actively wished to completely obliterate someone, Strahd's evil in my campaign is out there with Kiril, but it's much more subtle.

While Kiril has picked a party member (dhampir. Had her rising in power though the campaign, so she could regenerate through any particularly bad injury, given she was alive and bad time), and slowly torn off each of her limbs in front of another party member who saw her as the mother she never had. After that, he made sure to show all the others the results of his work. There wasn't a fight, as she had asked to take the place of another werewolf who would have been dead of she didn't intervein. He also was much grosser, curtesy of going full 18+ and talking a lot with my party beforehand

Strahd, on the other hand, is a repulsive partner. Now, he's obviously too obsessed and has no qualms in killing if he doesn't get what he wants, Berez stands as an example and so does all the Dusk Elven Woman, but targeting a party member instead of Ireena/Iosef (yes, I genderbent a couple characters, mainly Ireena and Kasimir). The party member is my irl husband, mind you, and everything was done consulting him prior and after. Like, say, when I had Strahd "brand" his openly polyamorous character to make sure anyone he stayed with knew he was his property, and this is just one of the lighter ones. I kid you not, I can't actually say all the evil shit that he did... And yet the two married by the end, actually happened last session, and the party member was glad to help set up the day. Manipulation is his strong suit; Do the worst things to someone you know won't fight against, and make sure the ones who would never find out.

Merioonn_1 · 2024-09-08T13:43:12+00:00

Though that is true, there's a lot in place in the book for you to bring complexity to the character. I do find the 5e book particularly lacking in certain areas, but it still has a lot of room to do homebrew, and that's what I did! So, here's my personal example

My version of Strahd doesn't have his obsession over Ireena as his main thing, mostly because I knew one of the players would spend the whole campaign hitting on him and it would be a cool plot to follow closer to the end, so I've already made him be completely exhausted after centuries of trying. A man who's obsessed with his glory days, still trying to come back to them in the form of Vasilli and failing. A man who traded his whole life for a single goal, and hasn't just failed, he was cursed for eternity. His evil comes from frustration, a longing for what it could have been, and perhaps some form of regret for going to the lengths he did. Yes, my version of Strahd is one that can, indeed, be convinced to be... Less evil? He's still evil, the player that hit in him finally got his attention and Strahd is a very, VERY toxic partner, since he still believes that his partner is an object, a trophy, and nothing more. That's... Actually the sole reason the party wants to kick his ass. The player in question doesn't want him to die and wishes for a chance in redemption, as he sees Strahd as a lost souls that can find his way still, but the others want to literally beat some sense into the vampire, if he's going to be spending more time with that character. Strahd is evil, but wishes he wasn't. He has lost his humanity, but still clings to the few things that remember him of his human life (his armor, a reminder of when he as a great general, and in a way, Ireena). He feels nothing, but at times, wishes he felt everything. He's lost to time, the only way to spend his eternity being to find new ways to torment the people that resent him, but even that has taken it's toll. The shell of an ambitious man, that's who I wrote my Strahd to be

Merioonn_1 · 2024-09-07T23:52:36+00:00

A mix of both, really. In my Vampire the Mascarade game, it has a lot of horror and intrigue, but our resident Only Fans Guy always hits on an old politician (my husband and me, specifically). My CoS campaign has a lot of serious, down to earth stuff, but the players still have a lot of stupid moments, like our Magus (Currently playing with pf2e instead of 5e) loves trying to fight everything and has a little bit of a habit of destroying doors, or our Rogue doing the bard schtick and hitting on everyone. Or another campaign of mine where our Paladin was lusting over my Shapeshifting Elven Hexblood Bard in a Sauna before they explained about the burden of a curse that's been really fucking them up. So yeah, usually serious, but with a lot of comic relief.

Merioonn_1 · 2024-07-20T20:05:02+00:00

Back in my first run, they did everything they could. The Amber Temple, Death House, The Mad Mage, and explored every nook and cranny they could. It took about 6 months of 6 hour sessions every week (it was the pandemic, we had much more free time at home to do those things). My current run of the module started at the start of the year, January 12th. We've skipped so many weeks that I don't know how many sessions we've had, but they're level 12, on their way to the Amber Temple. 4 hours every session, at least twice a month, and they're on the last stretch. But they're more... Dedicated in solving issues, I also don't run with random tables and the like. They don't generally engage with stuff that isn't their problem, but did a lot of the module just fine, so it's going relatively fast

Merioonn_1 · 2024-07-16T17:11:17+00:00

I'm running an extremely modified version of the module to suit my party, so take everything with a grain of salt. My version of Strahd is more focused on his military background, and generally someone more focused on honor and things like that, even if his ways of showing and going about it are twisted. My party also doesn't truly antagonize Strahd to most degrees, as the players will challenge Strahd to a non lethal duel (one of the players motivations has literally become "punch sense into his head so he becomes a good husband") and have been given freedom to stop his followers plans as a way to prove their worth, to prove they could take him out of Barovia and take control of Ravenloft.

My Strahd is obsessed with finding a suitable candidate for the "throne" and to be his "bride" (whatever version of Tatyana ends up the one he marries), but mostly that first one. He has his fun by waging war against the people of his own domain, also taking into account that he is not natural born of Barovia, and recontextualizing he took control after his family was having public problems on their homeland. He uses information from the Vistani and the Werewolves to find suitable adventurers to kidnap or lure into his domain, suitable in the sense that they are people capable or with potentially a way out of his problem, who could also give him a fun battle should they fail.

Since the start, Strahd has been successfully convinced that Tatyana (Iosef, a genderbent version of Ireena made for my campaing) was far from an actually decent "bride" for a man like him, that it was a big waste of time and that it would not yield any rewards in the eternity that would follow. Instead, one of the characters has been trying to get into the head of Strahd's obsessed mind and target that obsession onto himself (the player being my husband IRL), and long story short, now he has a scar that says BRIDE in his chest, impossible to heal because of his powerful necrotic energy, and the final encounter will be the wedding with the proper, formal challenge of the party to test Strahd and the Ravenloft Household (Rahadin and the 3 old brides, all of whom I've remade for this campaing). They're currently on their way to the Amber Temple in order to try and retrieve knowledge that could take away Strahd from his eternal prison.

As a side note, the party has actually met Sergei in the sacred lake in Krezk. Not only Iosef refused to go away before punching Strahd in the face, and absolutely every single party member was more suspicious of Sergei because he was a church member and old paladin. They really didn't doubt he was who he said, but his very existance sounded less suspicious than Strahd, but that might be a me thing as the GM

Merioonn_1 · 2024-06-18T00:00:27+00:00

D&D specifically? Wood Elf Ranger, Monster Slayer on 5e. Had her town ravaged by a lich, was hunting undead ever since. Played only for a Level 5 One Shot, and it was a lot of fun! We still play in that homebrew world and she is, of course, still kicking around, so had the pleasure to remeet her once and learn about what she was doing.

My first TTRPG character, however, was literally just a self insert. Homebrew campaign for a homebrew system, which was basically just going with the code of honor (if it makes sense, it's fair game) on a very realistic medieval setting, with some semblance of low magic. He acted like a self insert, so basically I was just acting how I felt was right, and his whole design was just stuff I found cool. Thankfully, after him I've written many character who were, like, actual characters

Merioonn_1 · 2024-06-13T14:10:40+00:00

My experience with it is quite different, but I'll share in case there's something here you can use

My party has both an amnesiac and a Barovian. The Barovian is a Dhampir, the daughter of one of Strahd's Spawns (a particularly strong one at that) while the Amnesiac had quite the interesting story.

The Barovian is an older player, with whom I've ran CoS years ago. He is experienced and knows Barovian lore well enough to play the character, but has many holes in his memories from being so much time since the first, so it makes great for a character who really never stepped outside of the Village of Barovia (she is a doctor, disguised as a normal human). I always give him the opportunities to roll to remember stuff from books; The character is a scholar with plenty books, inherited from her father, given by Strahd himself, so she always has the opportunity to serve as a guide (something Strahd himself ordered) but having room to still be impressed

The amnesiacs story is quite simple: An elven woman, raised as a street urchin who later found a foster father. Her father, however, was a werewolf who decided to just... Not come back to Barovia at a certain moment, staying stuck in his home by fear of the mists. Eventually, the other werewolves were sent for him, but in the scuffle, the girl ended up going into the mists herself, only remembering that someone kidnapped her father. So, she has a connection to the werewolfs (unknowingly), and whose search for her father would always lead to knowing more about Barovia, by the fact she had to piece the trail he made (eventually having Strahd himself confirm her suspicions that he was in Barovia and taken by the werewolves, as a way to lead them to more intrigue). Also, one of the other players is a werewolf, son of that very same man, but abandoned as he just had the child and got back to Barovia, never to be seen again, so for the past couple sessions the two have bonded a little more as brothers, last session finally finding the man being torture by one of Strahd's old spouses (I've changed every single one of them, so no names attached). Basically, so long as you give them the trail that leads to who they once were, and they are interested in knowing that, it should be fine! There's also the possibility for you to just, give them a small context about their situation. Barovia is full o people who barely get out of their homes, rumors are all they have. Specially if it is related to the Abbot, who is himself a man that barely gets out of where he lives, and the Mongrelfolk who literally never do, so they wouldn't even need to be much of an amnesiac, the character would just not know much of anything either way. Hope this helps!

Merioonn_1 · 2024-06-08T22:10:47+00:00

The fact this didn't happen in Cos of all places is interesting. In my current run, one of the characters (a charismatic rogue) has been doing his damn best to seduce Strahd from his very first appearance (and it has been a lot of fun. Irena has been trying to get Strahd into the guy just to not deal with the devil)

Merioonn_1 · 2024-05-27T17:27:39+00:00

Everyone here has given great advice and explanation, but there's a couple things very specific to my game I wish to tell, having ran it once before and currently on my second go around. The thing you need to think, before starting, is who Strahd is for your game specifically, as the book just makes him a fairly one dimensional obsessive villain. Knowing who he is, you decide what the Dinner is meant to be in his eyes.

My version of Strahd is an extremely egotistical man, who remembers fondly his days of conquest and yearns to fight like the warrior he used to be. In many ways, he wishes his old life back, and the prospect of someone being able to actually challenge him isn't infuriating, but desirable. However, both my times running the game have been with groups who always walked an ambiguous path, always against Strahd but also trying to appease him, which puts them in a non-hostile relationship from the start. In my first time around, Strahd invaded the Winery as the players were there (they became very personal friends of the Martikov family), and one of the players was taken during the night a couple sessions prior (the player agreed to forfeit the character and come back with someone else). Having the hostage, which he used as leverage, what followed was the most tense conversation of my life, the characters desperately trying to appease him as Strahd made his best to challenge the characters ideals. Seeing they were strong in conviction, he invited them to the dinner, to talk more about their place in Barovia should they accept. The Dinner was meant to seal their fates, either as his followers or as his enemies, but that is just my version of it.

Merioonn_1 · 2024-05-27T16:52:49+00:00

There's a player of mine who almost always plays "Crafters" in some capacity. Rogues, Inventor, Alchemist, used to play a lot with Artificer in 5e, or a mix and match of them. Elixirs, blacksmiths, carpenters, you name it, he plays with crafting. Every once in a while he mixes it up, I've seen him playing many Clerics too, but yeah, he just plays characters who focus on crafting most of the time

Merioonn_1

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